ognosticone Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 She has finally decided on a divorce. She told me she wanted it. So now I'm free to move on right? I know this will hurt for a while too. I was thinking about transitional counseling in order to salvage a friendship since we do have a baby. Good idea? My heart aches but I know it will be best this way. She isn't in love with me anymore anyway. I am going to college. If I really slam the summer classes I can graduate in August, but I am thinking of taking a light load so that I can work and deal with some of this garbage that I am going through. I am so glad the waiting is over. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 13, 2003 Share Posted April 13, 2003 I've heard from several people that studying hard is a good way to heal; it takes your mind off other things (assuming you're able to concentrate), and when you're done with the courses, you're largely healed because several months have gone by! So you may want to take enough courses in the summer & graduate! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Transitional counselling is a great idea. Yes, it will help the two of you to learn a manner of relating that will be healthy for your child and cause the least about of chaos in the child's life. It seems this divorce will be best for all involved but there's no sense in making it nasty. The easier the two of you can make it for each other, the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ognosticone Posted April 14, 2003 Author Share Posted April 14, 2003 She told me tonight that if an attractive man asked he out thst she'd go. Does that mean that I can date? Does dating happen while couples are waiting on paperwork? I don't have anyone in mind, but I really have to think that if the opportunity arose... I mean would it be right or ethical? I know that depends on your ethics. Do most people just move on or wait for the court to finalize things? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 Why don't you just calm down? Don't worry about what she does. If the divorce is only going to take a month or two, show some class and just wait until it's over to start dating. You should always go through a period of healing time after something like this anyway. Stop paying so much attention to what she says or does!!! If the divorce proceedings are going to stretch out for a long time, wait a few months before dating. Right now, there won't be any quality to the process anyway and potential partners, who may be right for you, will be very much put off that you are still married and only in the process of a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ognosticone Posted April 15, 2003 Author Share Posted April 15, 2003 Yesterday, Monday, Amanda tells me that she has been wanting a divorce for over a year. She said that she has been wanting to leave for a very long time. She told me that reconciliation was never an option. She only said the things that she did so that I would let her get her things out of the house. I wouldn't have stopped her. I'm not that kind of person. I hate that she doesn't even know me anymore. She went on to say that while her affair was a bad mistake in judgement, she had already decided to leave. I still don't think that makes it OK. She did appologize for decieving me. I guess it doesn't matter this has been over for a while. She stopped trying a long time ago. So why have I been willing to work on our marriage for so long? She says she won't find anyone else, blames me for her self-esteem problems, is sure I will find another to make me happy, and I guess life goes on. Link to post Share on other sites
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