date or friends that is the question

[loverly]

I'm posting this here, because I hardly got any advice in the friendhsip section. And since feelings are involved I suppose it better belongs here anyway.

 

I'm quite well aquainted with one of our managing directors. In the last three years we developed a kind of friendship, which, however, we never took out of the workplace, and I could swear that sparks are flying between us.

 

But somehow we hardly know each other so I finally took all my courage together and asked if he would like to go for something to eat before we move offices. I emailed him, just that, no explanations, nothing, just this sentence.

 

The reply came within half an hour... he's away this week (I knew that) but next week should work and he's looking forward to it.

 

Now, for me this is not a date. It's a chance to look closer at that man I think I know but who in fact I know nothing about (same goes the other way). But I have no idea if he interpreted my email the same way.

 

What I need help with, because I hate prying, but up to a point I will have to if I want to get to know him better, is what to ask him.

[Touche]

Why do you have to ask him anything? Just go and have a good time and play it by ear.

 

I'm not really sure what you're asking. Your title says "date or friends." You can't determine that until you get to know him. In my opinion you're thinking too far ahead of yourself.

 

Take it easy and enjoy his company when you go out. Stop trying to figure out what kind of relationship it will be. No one knows that right off the bat. Your answers will come in time without even having to ask him a thing.

[directx]

Touche makes some sense,

but you should bring a China Pattern catalogue just in case you get that far though.

[Touche]

Touche makes some sense,

but you should bring a China Pattern catalogue just in case you get that far though.

 

:lmao: Ok, that was funny.

 

In all seriousness though, loverly, direct is making the same point that I am. You're just really jumping ahead of yourself here. Slow down.

[directx]

Look! I'm getting on Touche's good side again!!!

 

Now, can I see that pic of the towel? Or do you need another poem?

 

And to keep this on track, yes, take it slow. Don't read too much into it.

But give it the opportunity to turn it into a date. It might be nice.

[loverly]

I am aware that I am jumping ahead.... but this has been three years of looks and sparks and banter and nothing else happening, it'll be the first time that we are outside of the office and alone.

I'm not used to one on ones anymore, so I was just hoping for some help which topics (apart from work) might be appropriate and grant a little more insight about the man.

[Touche]

I'd ask about his family, what he likes to do for fun when he's not working (hobbies, etc.), travel, his taste in music, etc. etc.

 

It will just come naturally. Don't stress too much over it.

[SoHotZanzibar]

Ask questions about him and allow him to ask questions as well.

Pay attention to common interests and discuss them.

You would be surprised how far you can take a conversation with just one or two good common interests.

 

Try not to wear anything to revealing or distracting.

(I wear loose clothing in my case with my build).

Keep the focus on the faces.

 

Good luck.

[Touche]

Wear loose clothing on the date? Are they going on an exercise or yoga date?

[SoHotZanzibar]

Wear loose clothing on the date? Are they going on an exercise or yoga date?

 

Thats actually not a bad date, believe it or not. I don't expect most women to be up for that.

Some women could probably use some exercise here.

 

But no, I like to downplay my build so the focus is on myself, not body.

[Touche]

Thats actually not a bad date, believe it or not. I don't expect most women to be up for that.

Some women could probably use some exercise here.

 

But no, I like to downplay my build so the focus is on myself, not body.

 

Ha ha, I know. I was just kidding. And by the way, I've seen just as many men who could use the exercise as women.

 

As far as yoga or exercise being a good date? Maybe not on the first one.

[SoHotZanzibar]

Ha ha, I know. I was just kidding. And by the way, I've seen just as many men who could use the exercise as women.

 

As far as yoga or exercise being a good date? Maybe not on the first one.

 

No. First date should be all out where the girl doesn't have to worry about a thing and get a postive unique experience that she can be proud to tell her friends about.

[Touche]

No. First date should be all out where the girl doesn't have to worry about a thing and get a postive unique experience that she can be proud to tell her friends about.

 

Hmm..interesting. I don't know. I always thought a good first date was one where I walked away knowing I really got to know the person I was out with.

[loverly]

Thanks guys, that already was very helpful. I haven't decided on the clothes yet... something not too extravagant, don't want people at work ask me if I have any plans at night....

I usually wear fairly figur hugging clothes, even though I am not that slim... so we'll see... pants and blouse, or maybe even a skirt with a nice top. All depends when we go, where we go, what the weather will be like and so on

 

I was not sure about asking about family and stuff, I know he is in a relationship, but then why not mention it... As I said, I don't want to pry and I don't want this to be about just me either.

 

I'll try to stop fretting now :-)

[SoHotZanzibar]

Hmm..interesting. I don't know. I always thought a good first date was one where I walked away knowing I really got to know the person I was out with.

 

Nope. You don't know.

That's obvious. Why kill all the mystery right off the bat?