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I lost my virginity during a one night stand with a friend who has a girlfriend

rooseveltjezebel

By rooseveltjezebel,
in Friends and Lovers

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rooseveltjezebel

rooseveltjezebel

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sounds like something that happens south

 

 

I see. Does that mean that this is somewhat of a unique situation I have gotten myself into? Not that I would be proud of its uniqueness...

 

 

It does seem just a little bit easier to accept today. I'm sure it will take a while to get over, but I think I'm becoming a little more ok with the idea of not hearing from him again. Hopefully, I'll keep myself from calling.

 

Thanks for the help.

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IamASelfishSOB

IamASelfishSOB

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Your situation is not unique. Generally, men are pigs. I don't see the harm and calling him and making nice though. I understand your need to make your first experience a special one. First you should come to grips with the fact that this was not what you thought it was. Then you could tell him that it will never happen again, but I'd really not like to be uncomfortable when I'm around you. It can be special to you for what you thought it was rather than what it really was. Sex with a dirty, rotten cheater who obviously is as selfish as my username.

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Saxis

Saxis

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This is such a sad story... I can imagine this is NOT how you expected your first time to go. The guy obviously has no respect for you at all. I only hope that he was at least respectful when you guys did it, as you were probably a bit scared? I know when my STBXW and I lost our virginity to each other, we were scared as hell, but we'd been dating for 6 months, and friends for 3 years before that, and we were comfortable with each other. It was completely innocent and special, and I'm thankful for that! I'm so sorry you are going through this... I'm not sure I would ever get involved with him in any way again. Disrespectful and a cheating prick all in one whack... He's not even friend material!

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rooseveltjezebel

rooseveltjezebel

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This is such a sad story... I can imagine this is NOT how you expected your first time to go. The guy obviously has no respect for you at all. I only hope that he was at least respectful when you guys did it, as you were probably a bit scared? I know when my STBXW and I lost our virginity to each other, we were scared as hell, but we'd been dating for 6 months, and friends for 3 years before that, and we were comfortable with each other. It was completely innocent and special, and I'm thankful for that! I'm so sorry you are going through this... I'm not sure I would ever get involved with him in any way again. Disrespectful and a cheating prick all in one whack... He's not even friend material!

 

Yeah, this wasn't exactly how I expected my first time to go - or at least, it's not how I expected it to go afterwards. He was very respectful and gentle as we did it, though. He just didn't say a lot afterwards...but, I guess I didn't either because it was at that point that the seriousness of what I had done really hit me. He probably realized then that I was having regrets. I keep thinking that maybe if I had talked more afterwards or if I had kissed him goodbye then maybe he would have called me. But, in reality, it doesn't matter what happens because we're never going to be together. And perhaps you're right and he isn't even friend material.

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Green

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that was kind of a cold way to end it, non of that after glow kissing and goodbye stuff eh. Well I'm a man and I need descriptions here and for the ladies I gues go ahead and describe your man. Are you guys tall, good shape, white...

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rooseveltjezebel

rooseveltjezebel

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that was kind of a cold way to end it, non of that after glow kissing and goodbye stuff eh. Well I'm a man and I need descriptions here and for the ladies I gues go ahead and describe your man. Are you guys tall, good shape, white...

 

There was a little of the "after glow" stuff. I stayed at his house for quite a while afterwards. It's just that when he dropped me off at my house I got out of his vehicle quickly because I was worried about someone seeing us. I'm just thinking that a lot of it is my fault because (1) I never should have done anything with a guy that has a girlfriend, and (2) he may have realized I was having regrets even though I didn't say anything. I guess, one of the reasons I still want to call is because I want to appologize for my part in the matter and let him know that it can't happen again.

 

As for a description, we are both pretty tall and in fairly good shape. Does that come into play somehow?

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BentSpine

BentSpine

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It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about the nice things I told him, like I was willing to loose it to him because he had been a good friend and I trusted him.

 

Don't worry. Nothing of value have been lost.

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bioshock

bioshock

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I guess I know all that's true...it's just hard to make myself really believe it. He told me that he and his girlfriend have an "agreement" that they can do this; they just don't tell eachother about it. Do you think that was just a line?

 

He told me that he and his girlfriend have an "agreement" that they can do this

 

If you were his girlfriend, wld you be agreeable to him F69K1ng around the whole world ?!? Go darken your blonde locks.

 

btw did you finish high school?

Friend A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

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Saxis

Saxis

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I really don't think she deserves all the rude comments.... She already knows the mistake she made! The dude was supposed to be her friend, and she obviously trusted him. No one can tell me they've never been burned by someone they trusted at one time. The issue she's having now, is that they went beyond the "friend zone" and of course everything will be completely different, unless a strict FWB relationship was agreed on -or- she wants to be the OW in a relationship. Obviously he wasn't interested in anything more than the sex. Yes, alot of men are pigs! Not all of us though, so you might have to sort through a few of them....

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yeah ur mean, ur a meanie meanie meanie... look when Im getting laid tonight Ill remember how mean u were.... playboy101 though that was pretty cool so Ill stay neutral just stop being so mean

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trh

trh

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Unfortunely you lost your virginity to the wrong guy. He is a piece of cockroach ****. You can do far better than him. Find yourself a good guy and you will forget all about him.

 

trh

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the guys not that bad. He didnt lie about having the gf or say he loved her or anything like that. She obviously had a pleasurable experience. He never said he was going to make her his gf. I mean if she wanted to just get married and have sex or wait till she was 30 or something she could have but she chose to have sex and its not the end of the world shes still the same person and maybe she has less anxiety now that shes done it once and can go on and enjoy some more sex with other guys like ... me

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rooseveltjezebel

rooseveltjezebel

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you are indeed NOT a "good girl", you are a silly girl

 

btw did you finish high school?

Friend A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

 

I agree that I am a "silly" girl. I know it was stupid of me to believe there was an agreement. I guess you live and learn.

 

Btw, I did finish high school. I also have an undergraduate degree and am attending graduate school. But, as my case may show, having an education doesn't necessarily equate to having life experience.

 

I really don't think she deserves all the rude comments.... She already knows the mistake she made! The dude was supposed to be her friend, and she obviously trusted him. No one can tell me they've never been burned by someone they trusted at one time. The issue she's having now, is that they went beyond the "friend zone" and of course everything will be completely different, unless a strict FWB relationship was agreed on -or- she wants to be the OW in a relationship. Obviously he wasn't interested in anything more than the sex. Yes, alot of men are pigs! Not all of us though, so you might have to sort through a few of them....

 

Thanks Saxis. You are right, I did trust him, and that was one of the main reasons I did it. When I first met him, I was kind of shy, and he was really the first guy who had ever made the effort to get to know me. Until last weekend he had never tried anything - we were just friends, and I totally trusted him.

 

 

Unfortunely you lost your virginity to the wrong guy. He is a piece of cockroach ****.

trh

 

the guys not that bad. He didnt lie about having the gf or say he loved her or anything like that. He never said he was going to make her his gf. e

 

 

I can't decide what to think of him. Although a part of me wants to blame him, another part of me knows that it was actually my fault since he did nothing to mislead me other than say there was an "agreement."

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