Boyfriend doesn't want a baby now -

[aviak]

hi meand my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and i want a baby

and he wants to wait ... when ever i bring the subject up he trys to change the subject or says we cant afford one when we can what can i say to him to get him to think moreabout the subject of having baby ???

please help

[Lauriebell82]

Well, is there any talk of marriage or anything? Maybe he wants to wait and get married before having a child. A lot of men are very traditional and want their children to parents who are married.

 

Anyway, have you talked about why he isn't ready? And are you really not in a financial situation to do so? Babies are extremely expensive, even financially stable couples find themselves hurting for money one they bring a baby into the mix.

 

Also, pressuring you bf is not going to make the matter any better. Men don't like to be pressured into anything so thats really not helping you get what you want. Bottom line is you can't force him to do anything. How old are you by the way?

[JamesM]

I agree with Lauriebell.

 

Couple of comments I had, too...

 

1. Why not get married first? If you have a child before that final commitment, there is a greater chance that the child will grow up without a father.

 

2. You will never be able to afford a baby. This should be understood. But the commitment financially needs to be there. In other words, if you still or he still wants to party like there is no tomorrow, then a child will be in the way. If either of you do not have a steady income, you will find yourself in a bad position.

 

3. Not everyone is ready to be a parent. Yet many feel the responsibility once the baby is born. So, just because he says he is not interested does not mean he won't change. Yet since you are not married, then neither of you have shown that you are ready to start a family. And with the other factors here, this may not be the time.

 

4. NEVER pressure someone into such an important and life changing decision. Not only will he be resentful, you will regret having forced him into this.

 

5. Age is important. Are you mature enough to have a bab? Is he?

 

6. Are the two of you ready to settle down and start a family or do YOU want a baby to fulfil some need? I certainly do not mean to be insensitive, but if you want something to care for, then a dog will do. If you want to start a family WITH this boyfriend, then marriage may be the first thing to consider...and then a baby.

[Starry-eyed]

hi meand my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and i want a baby

and he wants to wait ... when ever i bring the subject up he trys to change the subject or says we cant afford one when we can what can i say to him to get him to think moreabout the subject of having baby ???

please help

 

 

You certainly sound anxious to be a single parent. Why do you want to bring a child into this world out of wedlock?

[mental_traveller]

If he's hesitating, it means he doesn't want a baby. If you have one without him agreeing first, then he may well leave you.

 

Also, wouldn't it be better to get married before having a kid. A child is an 18 year commitment, so if you can't commit to marriage then it seems foolish to deliberately get pregnant at this stage. Being married also protects the child's interests.

 

This best thing is for you to wait until he is comfortable with it. Stop hassling him for now, and be patient. If you can't wait, then you should find a new bf who *does* want to start a family.