Horrible at break-ups

[Cheyenne]

I'm a 20 year old college student and I've had a couple of long relationships and never did the whole dating thing with out getting totally involved. Anyhow, I'm with a guy now that I've been with for about 8 months. We started dating immediately after a 3 year relationship I was in previous to him. I felt that I was ready and in the begining, he seemed like everything I could ever want in a guy (like they always do) and I was the aggressor, and took it apon myself to get his phone number and ask him out, etc. After a couple of months of dating (all going great), I've noticed that he has somewhat of a temper- not a physical temper that he'd hit me or anything, but he tends to snap at me in normal conversation. I feel that this behavior degrades me and I've never been talked to like this since I was raised in a very loving and understanding family. I've delt with it since it started happening about 5 months ago. He blames his behavior on his dad- saying that is how he talkes to the kids. I've told him a number of times that I really don't like to be yelled at the way he does and he claimes to be trying to change. Now, I've heard many times don't expect the person to change for you and I can't imagine myself with him much longer because I feel that I'm wasting my time. I invision us being together longer and him treating me the disturbing way I see him treat his family. Not only this, but there are other little things that really bother me about him. He's never gone to church, and I am a church-girl. I think there are a lot of good qualities that he has missed in not ever attending church. Also some attitudes of him being the best at everything really bother me. Anyway, I want to break up with him, even though I do care for him (I guess that whole explanation was justification to break-up). He thinks everything is great and he's talked about futuristic plans with me a number of times, in which I usually avoid responding. I don't know how to break up with him. My last relationship was terminated in a fight and I hated ending it like that- but the last guy knew that it was coming. I don't know how to just bring it up from nowhere and I don't want to hurt him. I'm such a wimp when it comes to this kind of stuff. If anyone has a painless way for both me and him to break up, could you let me know. Actually, any kind of advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

[michele]

I'm a 20 year old college student and I've had a couple of long relationships and never did the whole dating thing with out getting totally involved. Anyhow, I'm with a guy now that I've been with for about 8 months. We started dating immediately after a 3 year relationship I was in previous to him. I felt that I was ready and in the begining, he seemed like everything I could ever want in a guy (like they always do) and I was the aggressor, and took it apon myself to get his phone number and ask him out, etc. After a couple of months of dating (all going great), I've noticed that he has somewhat of a temper- not a physical temper that he'd hit me or anything, but he tends to snap at me in normal conversation. I feel that this behavior degrades me and I've never been talked to like this since I was raised in a very loving and understanding family. I've delt with it since it started happening about 5 months ago. He blames his behavior on his dad- saying that is how he talkes to the kids. I've told him a number of times that I really don't like to be yelled at the way he does and he claimes to be trying to change. Now, I've heard many times don't expect the person to change for you and I can't imagine myself with him much longer because I feel that I'm wasting my time. I invision us being together longer and him treating me the disturbing way I see him treat his family. Not only this, but there are other little things that really bother me about him. He's never gone to church, and I am a church-girl. I think there are a lot of good qualities that he has missed in not ever attending church. Also some attitudes of him being the best at everything really bother me. Anyway, I want to break up with him, even though I do care for him (I guess that whole explanation was justification to break-up). He thinks everything is great and he's talked about futuristic plans with me a number of times, in which I usually avoid responding. I don't know how to break up with him. My last relationship was terminated in a fight and I hated ending it like that- but the last guy knew that it was coming. I don't know how to just bring it up from nowhere and I don't want to hurt him. I'm such a wimp when it comes to this kind of stuff. If anyone has a painless way for both me and him to break up, could you let me know. Actually, any kind of advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

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Good Luck