trying to get girlfriend back

[eddiep51]

Iwas with my exgirlfriend for 41/2 yrs, till march 11th 2003. During that time she was telling how she was thinking about her future and that she needed to do some things within her life like getting her MBA and maybe seeing other people to see what's out there. Before all of this started, she was very happy with how our realtionship was going until one night she hung out with her ex and she told me he actually made her think about a lot of things. During that time wepsoke on and off and people were telling me that I should lay off and give her space and she would tell me the same thing. I would though after 3 or 4 days of no contact but then either I would call or she would call. I have not seen her since 3/22/03 and 3/26/03 was her birthday whichI sent her flowers and even sent her an e-card and a regular card thru the mail which got there on her birthday. After that it has been the same thing with us nothing has changed. I even e-mailed her friend just to see how she was doing and she found out and was very angry at the fact that I did that. I told her it was only because since she had put up this barrier btw us I just basically wanted to see how she was doing and so forth and she didn't believe me after 2 hours on the phone. She then told me she was developing feelings for her ex but at the same time she's not sure what she wants to do. After the 2 hours on the phon I felt the vibe that she did not want to get oof the line, but she was saying that her battery was running out then she said her mom was calling her but we finally got off the phone. That was 4/4/03 and to this day I have not spoken to her, I really do not know what to do, I have given a lot of space since that day. I would to send her a hello greeting or even a letter just to let her know that she's on my mind, what should I do, I really do not want to lose her but I do not want to push her away either.

[Tony T]

If she didn't thank you for the birthday flowers, she's pretty rude.

 

This girl is jerking you around bigtime...but, I have to give her some credit, it's your fault for allowing it.

 

Love is wonderful but it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship. For instance, the other person has to have some love, respect and admiration for you. Her behavior is NOT that of a person who is truly in love with you.

 

If you keep making contact with her, you're going to become a super annoyance. Avoid her like the plague. One day, she'll be very curious about why she hasn't heard from you and she'll be burning with curiosity and call you.

 

If you treated her very kindly, she will surely be back one day. If you didn't, it's not likely this is meant to be a keeper.

 

Make your plans to move on and heal. There isn't enough time to stay in limbo concerning this girl. From what you have written, she has sent pretty clear messages that she wants you to move on. Take her up on it.

[eddiep51]

she has thanked me for the flowers and all that stuff I sent her on her birthday, she said everyhting I sent her was beautiful and thoughtful. Also, I treated very well, more than other a*** guys out there who make us look bad ya know. She never said I couldn't call her or anything like that, so basically the convo ended " I'll talk to you later" and that was it. LikeI said before it has been awhile since I heard from her. Is it a good idea if I send her a text message via phone just to say Hi or write a letter to acknowledge the fact she's on my mind and that I made th effort in doing that?

[Debster]

Communication is the key to a relationship.

If you have concerns, pick up the phone and call her - or better yet go and see her. Stop involving other people in decisions regarding your relationship.

 

Also, she seems to have some plans with what she wants to do with her life and it seems that she's hinting that she thinks you'll hold her back from those plans. Let her know that you will support her and that she needs to do what is best for her - even if that is breaking up with you to pursue an MBA.

 

It goes back to the old saying, if you love someone set them free. If they come back it is love. If they don't it wasn't meant to be.

 

Good luck.

[eddiep51]

The thing is Ihave been very supportive and she knows that, she also has stated that she missed and that she was thinking of calling me but I guess at that time I was calling her. In my opinion I think she's very confused, the ex that she's benn hangin' with lately has not been there in person for her but she stated they have been talking a lot pver the phone. This is not the first time this has happened,last year it was almost the same thing but she ended up calling me after 4 or 5 days. I feel she still has feelings for me despite the fact that she's talking or seeign other people. I mean she even gave me her text address a couple of weeks ago in case I wanted to send her a text message and also she even said that she loved me still. I'm just boggled by this whole mess that's all. Maybe I just have to let time play a role and see what happens

[cindy0039]

My opinion is that if your ex g/f wants to talk to you, she'll call. You should just try to stay busy and resist the urge to contact her.

[michiganmale27]

I'm in agreement with Cindy. I'm in a similar situation, the girl says she's infatuated with you the next saying she don't love you anymore or have feelings anymore.

 

I posted a message with my story on another thread, but I think Cindy is on to something which I will take heed as well.

 

"If she wants to talk to you, she will call you" If you love something set it free, if it comes back it is love. This is painful to do, trust me I know very well but sometimes we have to let something go even if it breaks our heart.

 

The time thing might be the best advice, but you need to think about asking other people out...Not very easy to do on my end self-confidence issues to deal with.

 

We'll hang in there!!!