rblove1001 Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 It has been a while! However, my current boyfriend and I are involved in a long distance relationship, but it is temporary. However, I am wondering since it is so new and kind of unsettled on where we stand will it last. He is working in another state for at least 2 months, with a strong possibility of being there until 2008. Background, I interned in DC a semester, and was cheated on. My boyfriend interned in DC and cheated on me. My most recent ex and I broke up because of his inability to remain faithful - so my being nervous about cheating is a valid concern. What cha think? Link to post Share on other sites
Allison85 Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 With a new relationship you have to remember that you haven't really had the time to build that trust that normally keeps LD relationships together. I was dating someone for a month and a half or so before he went overseas with the military. Rumors and both of our suspisions of eachother tore us apart but we lasted 4 months before everything just got very overwhelming. First thing I think you both need to do is talk before he leaves. Make sure that there is a understanding between the two of you that if you are going to do the LD thing...some ground rules. 1.Make sure you are on the same page about your relationship... you both want to wait/not see other people ect. 2. That you will both be completely honest with eachother while he is away. 3. No matter how many doubts you have going through your head (wich you are bound to doubt him, and he you) you have to trust what the other person is saying completely and try not to listen to other people...wich can be very hard when you start getting parinoid because maybe he didn't call you when he was supposed to. A long distance relationship wont last a month if you don't trust eachother. Like I said it is very hard to trust someone not to cheat on you while they are away when you have only been dating a short time, especially if you have been cheated on before, your going to subconsiously be looking for signs. It can absolutely be done though! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 Background, I interned in DC a semester, and was cheated on. My boyfriend interned in DC and cheated on me. My most recent ex and I broke up because of his inability to remain faithful - so my being nervous about cheating is a valid concern. What cha think? No it is not a "valid concern". The boyfriend that cheated on you was a different person. If he were the same person it would be a "valid concern" - but he is separate from the actions of another. He should not have to pay for another's mistakes. Your fears are very real, however, they are your problem. If you allow those fears to become part of this relationship you could end up causing a whole lot of strain and bickering and that can bring on the end. You need to work through your fears and allow him to show you who he is. He should understand where these feelings come from and if asked to help allay your fears more than likely he will give you reassurances when necessary. But you have to be willing to accept them, and then let it go, as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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