aaronjunited Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 Hi My name is Aaron. I've a girlfriend that i love so much. We've been going with each other for over 10 months now. Lately its been hard. I lost my job about 4 months ago, and since then i havnt been working. Before i lost my job everything was good. I know my girlfriend isnt happy with me not having a job, and i have to admit i havent tried hard enough to get one. Her previous boyfriend was the same, except he never had a job the whole time she was going with him. He scrounged off her and used her for her money. She aubviously thinks that this is what i'm starting to do. But i love her soo much i would not do that on her, easy to say that even though ive been letting her take me out and so on. I generally feel guilty that ive let her pay my way. We dont live together, though wen i see her she spends money on me wether we are out for a drink or whatever. She works alot too, and stressing herself out which isnt helping either and ofcourse me not having a job which makes it worse. We have silly arguments, and one time she turned to self-harming. This has hapened on a few occassions. She isnt doing this reguraly i know that. She's lost a few friends along the line aswell, due to falling out with them, and she let it out the other day, she started crying and said i have no friends. That seems to be working on her also. Problem is, she doesnt share her feelings, unless she has a drink in her, she can tell me anything. I dont want to loose her and i dont want to push her away either. What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 so...get a job. this is not an attractive quality, and she will get tired of taking care of you like a child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aaronjunited Posted September 20, 2007 Author Share Posted September 20, 2007 Yea i'm close to getting one at the minute. I think that will help things alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Allison85 Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 I would be trying as hard as I could to find work. As easy as it is to stay unemployed once you are you are putting unessary stress on her. Even if it's something stupid in between finding something you like, I guarantee that that alone will make a big difference in her attitude. You obviously care about her so don't make things harder on her than they have to be. As far as any issues she has about talking with you.. just let her know that you are there for her to talk to whenever she needs you. You can't force her to talk but you can reassure her that you care and that you are there for her. Another iniciative of finding work would be... if she works a lot and YOU can tell that she is really stressed out... she sounds like she could use a amazing night with her bf that loves her. Plan something nice for her to let her know that you appreciate her, even something as stupid as planning a night where you sit outside somewhere wrapped in a blanket talking under the stars will make her feel so much better about everything and will probably bring her stress level down. If she is taking you out make sure she knows that you are not taking her for granted otherwise she could get resentful and peel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aaronjunited Posted September 20, 2007 Author Share Posted September 20, 2007 Yea i aggree with you 100%. Thanks for the advice Alison. Link to post Share on other sites
Aintayankee Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 Just get a job I guess. Try an employment center or the paper. I don't have one right now either, so its a good thing I am single. I only got a few friends, but I don't know any girls, in that respect she is doing better than me. Link to post Share on other sites
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