jade6147 Posted September 20, 2007 Share Posted September 20, 2007 my bf of two years just broke up with me last week, i really want him back. he doesn't want to be friends with me and he doesn't want to talk to me so i have left him alone. we met up to give each others stuff back and we talked, he looks terrible, so i have been trying the method of no contact and i still haven't heard from him and it has been four days. can anybody give me some advice on how to win him back to his defense i drove him to it with my jealousy and always screaming and yelling. i asked him if he still loves me and he said he doesn't know, usually that means no, but if he doesn't why does he find it so hard to be around me? Link to post Share on other sites
Yosef Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 my bf of two years just broke up with me last week, i really want him back. he doesn't want to be friends with me and he doesn't want to talk to me so i have left him alone. we met up to give each others stuff back and we talked, he looks terrible, so i have been trying the method of no contact and i still haven't heard from him and it has been four days. can anybody give me some advice on how to win him back to his defense i drove him to it with my jealousy and always screaming and yelling. i asked him if he still loves me and he said he doesn't know, usually that means no, but if he doesn't why does he find it so hard to be around me? You need to beg him to tell you what's wrong with him. You have to want to ask him what's wrong. Open yourself to different possibilities and get him to open up a little. He's very stressed, according to the description you've given. Either that or he's on drugs, which isn't likely. You shouldn't be violently yelling or scolding or messing with his head. You need to be gentle if you want him to come to you. You need to learn patience as well as sympathy. For one, making him jealous is only making him feel that he's not worthy of you, and that's not good. You just need to get him to open up his problems to you, and help him with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jade6147 Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 thanks for the advice, but that isn't an option the no contact thing is something that needs to be done. i need him to contact me first how do i get him to do that? Link to post Share on other sites
gman0hsev Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 First off I'm not really agreeing with the let him contact you first thing. I mean he may have broken up with you, but from what you have said about yourself you gave him plenty of reasons to. First off I would suggest some serious soul searching, Why were you so jealous? Why were you always so angry? If you can't figure that out it will never work. You may be able to get back together again, but it will just end up coming back here. But back to the him calling you thing...... personally IMO thats pretty childish unless he deserved it(But unless there is something you are leaving out it seems he doesn't). I mean you admit that you messed up! So why do you think its up to him to fix it? I mean if it was the other way around would you want to be the one to have to put it all together again? Now I'm not saying you have to do everything, but I am saying that you are gonna have to take the first step or two to fix the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jade6147 Posted September 23, 2007 Author Share Posted September 23, 2007 i agree, but i don't want to push him i want him to want to fix things and if right now he doesn't want to talk to me i think the best thing is to give him his space Link to post Share on other sites
gman0hsev Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 Yeah thats true. Did you figure out why you were angry and jealous? If not maybe therapy to solve these problems so that you can show that you are making an effort to solve the problem( Mind you this is assuming everything you did was not justified you really never specified). And I would say wait a few more weeks or so than try to contact him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jade6147 Posted September 24, 2007 Author Share Posted September 24, 2007 i just found out that he has been driving by my house, when i asked him about it he says he doesn't remember doing this. he came over yesterday because he wanted to see my kids and take them to the park. my son wanted me to go with them and he said no right in front of my son and made him cry so i told him he needs to say goodbye to me and my kids its just making it harder on us. he was very upset when i told him i am cutting all ties to him. i don't understand why he finds it so hard to be around me if he is over me and why he would want to see my kids when he barely wanted to spend time with them when we were together could someone shed some light on this. he seemed very sad that i was cutting all contact this time it was me that said it Link to post Share on other sites
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