Would you destroy another person's life?

[underpants]

I am curious if this is how you communicate with other people in your life?

 

When you have disagreements with people (the ex), did you speak to her (or others) as you do here?

[VIP]

the truth of the matter is that there is no right and wrong.

 

Then your girlfriend cannot be wrong, because according to you there is no wrong. And you cannot be right either.

[GuerreroAzteca]

Integrity sums this up. Your values are crushed? You are changing the way you think?

 

You are giving her too much power. Her actions made you change who you are.

 

Be strong enough to believe in the values you have held for so long. I've been in a break up too, most of us in this forum have.

 

I see your perspective, and i would be so tempted myself.

 

I would let her know that hey I could've done this to you but because of my personal integrity and what i hold dear i'm walking away.

 

Its no good if your changing your mindset and acting based on that.

 

Everybody has an opinion and thats the purpose of this forum to hear everybodies reasoning and ultimately its up to you to figure out what you want to do.

 

There is no reasoning with feelings and thoughts. These are all opinions that may or may not help you make a decision.

[sb129]

OK, you're in such control of your actions, that I manipulated you into that last post. You felt the desire for the last explanation to continue feeling good about your views. Now like the rest, you'll walk away, because to stay means that you have to question things you don't want to question. Your excuses protect you from having to look. They protect you from questioning yourself. They protect you from possibly seeing lies that you've told yourself.

 

 

!!!!! Don't flatter yourself so much mate. You didn't manipulate me into posting, I chose to post. I don't feel good OR bad about my views- they are simply my views, and my life doesn't revolve around them.

 

In fact, I only think about this thread when I read it- why do I read it you ask? Because its a fascinating insight into the mind of another. No quack psychology here, just observations. You give us ALOT of ammunition to make these observations about you.

 

Sweetheart, I am not the one seeking validation (whatever way you dress it up, thats what you are doing) for my actions on a public forum, and if I WAS, I would accept all points of view.

 

I am not "living a lie". I have been there, done that, done the looking inside, and come out the other side.

guess what? I changed quite a few things, for the better IMO. I am quite content, in a happy healthy, loving (and I have been in a bad one, so I know the difference!) relationship and have no need to question myself. Particularly as i haven't actually done anything questionable lately!

 

I find it quite amusing that you think the reason I won't agree with you is that I may be living a lie and need to look inside....

 

Staring Contest, JamesM and LIndya have made some EXCELLENT points.

 

I can't even begin to quote them, as I basically agreed with everything they said.

 

So why do I keep posting here you ask?

 

Morbid fascination probably. Same reason anyone else does.

[amaysngrace]

Darkzen I finally read this whole thread and it took me a couple of hours.

 

I change my mind. Stealing from her is wrong. I don't care if she never signed anything, a judge will see right through you. They are good at that and they'll know that you're lying about how much of that money is hers.

 

But really the thing I find very confusing is if her company is short money and then your brother invested that same amount of money, isn't the invested money really her employer's money?

 

And another thing, if where you live you'd be entitled to what she's earning because you supported her through school, why on earth would you want her to lose her job?

[Trimmer]

You know Dark, I've come around. And it's largely because over time, I have come to believe that you're not really doing all that much to "punish" her. If we believe your explanations (although they are a little spotty and vague) this was an investment made, that was lost in the normal course of business, and the "brother" might have offered to repay the lost investment out of his own pocket, but now he's not.

 

So what we have is the ex, who knows that the investment was justifiably lost, who isn't going to get it back. That's how investments work, right? Certainly she knew that going in... And her "punishment" is that you are going to wave in front of her face "Nanny nanny, I might have given you a $50k gift to replace the lost investment, but now I'm not going to do that any more....." Is that it?

 

You have argued persuasively (using that handy irrefutable logic) that it was an investment, it was lost in the course of business, that your brother was going to make it up as a goodwill gesture. So I infer from this that she knew it might be lost when she made the investment, and indeed, it turned out that way. Bummer, but that was in the trade space from the start.

 

So you go beating your chest, saying you will leave her "broke," but it sure sounds like this was discrectionary investment money, which was lost in the normal course of business.

 

Or did you guys "cook the books" to make it disappear? Hmmm.... No, that would be something known as "fraud" which is a criminal (not just civil) matter, and you've been very clear that you wouldn't cross the line into anything illegal. I'm sure you wouldn't have done anything fraudulent to keep hidden money that was rightfully hers... No, no... you certainly wouldn't cross that line.

 

So the money must have been "lost" honestly, and the big penalty to her is that you will wave it in front of her face that you "could have" repayed it, but now you're not.

 

Either you have a little inflated opinion of the immensity of your actions, or you haven't explained yourself very consistently about the nature of the investment and the understandings under which it was made. Was it her money to begin with or not? (You've been pretty clear that it was - she sold stock options that I assume were hers...) Was it invested with the understanding that it may be lost in the course of business? Was it actually, honestly lost, or was it "lost" (in quotes) through creative bookkeeping? Did you know that "bookkeeping" is the only English word with three consecutive double letters? You've been big on her not holding up her end of your relationship "contract" - what was the understanding about the investment?

 

But anyway, back on topic, do tell: did she get fired? Is her life "destroyed?" Is she at least in a heap o' big trouble at work? Is she now "jobless and broke", per your plan? Is she leaving sobbing messages on your answering machine, weeping, asking for her $50k back so she can pay for a life-saving operation for her ill mother? Man, that would be so sweet... "I believe in an eye for an eye, but it more than that. I want her to feel what I feel. I want her to suffer for her actions, so that she can understand the suffering that I experienced." You've told us you can't move forward without justice being done, and in your own words here, you want her to suffer. Without knowing that she has suffered, that you fulfilled your intention, won't the job be left unfinished? Won't your mighty sword of justice hang silent and impotent in its sheath? How could you walk away without feeling like a coward?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Wow. I just slogged through this whole thread just now. I'm just curious as to what happened to the ex after you did what you did? What was the aftermath?

[marlena]

This topic has been dicussed ad nauseam!!! When Dark's irrefutable logic is refuted, he can only retaliate (retaliation is, after all, his forte) with insults...

 

When cornered, he called me "malaka" which in the language of Socrates means "jerk," "masturbator" etc... So much for (ill-) logic.

 

Socrates was charghed of corrupting youth and therefore drank the conium! Perhaps Dark should follow his admirer's suit and do humanity a favour!!

[marlena]

Anyone ever notice how he never stays on line for very long?? Just pops in and out like a ...well, never mind! I'm sure you get my drift!!

 

A phantom of the opera? A camicase?? A guerilla fighter? A suicide bomber?

 

Hey, and don't forget Bosnia! I was there last summer. How dare he compare those poor people to his twisted egocentric logic and all because a woman simply had the sense (albeit long overdue) to walk away from him?

 

He has the makings of a terrorist as far as I am concerned!

 

 

This post is not adressed to the OP but to all you other normal people out there who have taken the time out (myself included) to respond to this clown who has grandiose images of himself being an Einstein or Socrates or what not!

[strawman]

Darkzen, have you met my friend oavada? You two could stay up all night talking about how illogical everyone else is, and he could teach you all about fallacies.

 

It would be magical.

[Darkzen]

strawman: No I haven't.

 

marlena: What does, me having a life, have to do with validating the points I make... I stay here as long as necessary to read what's been said, make my counter-points and go about my life. I'm sorry if you stalk the site and feel that makes you special. I have a busy schedule between ju-jitsu, the gym and school. Stalking Loveshack.org isn't a high priority of mine.

 

So, I feel I'm Socrates and Einstein? Show me where I implied this, please, I'd love to see it. Oh, you must think that because, I enjoy Socrates' teachings this obviously means I see myself as a Socrates... right. Or because I have a high IQ, this automatically means I must see myself as an Einstein... right.

 

I never compared Bosnia to my situation. I was explaining why I have conviction, in my beliefs that people must fight against injustice.

 

As for the "malaka" comment, my Greek friends use the word as an exclamation when frustrated. That's how it's use was intended. I didn't say anything like "You're a malaka". That's a problem with text based communication, I write as I would speak. Had I wanted to call you a "malaka", I would have come right and done so.

 

Lastly, I'm still waiting for someone to refute my logic. What makes your way right and my way wrong? Give me some reasoning as to why you feel the way you do, maybe then I can understand. You may think that by bringing up counter-points I'm dismissing your reasoning, that's not the case though. I'm trying to really see how you feel, not what you're merely saying. I can say a bunch of poop, doesn't mean I would honestly do it myself. If I can see the reasoning behind it, I can understand the motivations to uphold the concept.

 

LucreziaBorgia: They'll call me and let me know when the investigation is complete. It's been a little under a week, they said it'd take a week or two.

 

Trimmer: You're pretty much correct in your summary. I'm not technically punishing her with the money. I'm merely preventing her from being rewarded by good deeds, when she doesn't deserve them. Nor am I punishing her for reporting to her company. They'll punish her for her actions. I'm getting my reckoning though.

 

The balance will be paid in full, in my eyes. She made me out to be a bad guy, I showed her I can be a bad guy... no questions remain in my mind, on why she saw me as a bad guy. I justified her views on me and in doing so, do not feel I was unjustly treated any more. I wasn't about to live my life, carrying her actions on my shoulders.

 

amaysngrace: It's not stealing. The money doesn't belong to anyone. She didn't steal it from her company either, it was from stocks she cashed in. I'm not taking the money either, merely preventing her from benefiting from the goodness of others.

 

sb129: I'm still manipulating you. It's a fact of life, people are easily manipulated. I know what drives people and know how to push buttons to generally make them respond in a way I want.

 

If you honestly don't let your views influence your life, you've got problems.

 

We differ in that I do not accept anything, for the sake of accepting it. If they can show me with reasoning and logic, I may accept what they're saying. That is my choice, just like it's your choice to ignore my points and twist things to suit your views. "The sky is magenta!", should I accept that statement or say "how did you come to that conclusion?". That's what I've been doing this entire thread... looking for why people feel the way they do. Sorry if I seek enlightenment and understanding into things I have limited experience with. We cannot learn if we do not ask questions.

 

I'll say it one last time... I'M NOT LOOKING FOR AGREEMENT, I'M LOOKING FOR PEOPLE'S REASONING BEHIND WHY THEY SEE THINGS THE WAY THEY DO. Understand it yet?

 

GuerreroAzteca: I see where you're going with that. I'm merely trying to change back into what I was, before my ex turned me into a beaten and broken person. If I see her in anything but a negative light, I won't be able to fix the things about my beliefs that she crushed. Yet by painting her in a negative light, she becomes something to be fought against. To let her wrongs go unchecked, would only further break my spirit.

 

VIP: You fail to understand context. Right and wrong is determined by perspective. She's wrong in my eyes and I gave my reasoning as to why I see things this way. Although, there is no right and wrong in a discussion.

 

underpants: Depends. Most conversations with people don't get this involved. I do though when it's an applicable situation.

 

JamesM: Well obviously, you'll have problems if you selectively pick and choose statements out of context. Probably why I don't see things the way you see them, I read the words and interpret them in the context of the conversation. Not only in the context of what the words mean.

 

So based on what you just described a discussion to be... talking is done for what purpose? Listening is done for what purpose? Asking questions are done for what purpose? What's purpose of discussion and debating? No matter what road you choose, it all is supposed to lead to the same goal... understanding. It's not a discussion if both sides only make statements, it cannot go anywhere. Person A: "I like salad"... Person B: "I don't like salad". What did that conversation accomplish? Neither of those people have any greater understanding into one another.

 

We're both entitled to our opinions. Deny what you will, but words are only words to me, your actions/inactions are way more telling to me.

 

General: Think that about covers everyone.

[sb129]

sb129: I'm still manipulating you. It's a fact of life, people are easily manipulated. I know what drives people and know how to push buttons to generally make them respond in a way I want.

 

If you honestly don't let your views influence your life, you've got problems.

Sure you do. Let me just grovel at your feet, oh master of manipulation. (and the universe) I am not worthy!

If you are making me respond in this way, then why the frustration that it isn't "logical".

 

My life doesn't revolve around my views re: your situation.

 

Of course my views influence MY life.

 

Don't be so pendantic.

 

You really get off on this don't you?

 

I am done with this, you are clearly a megalomaniac who is getting off on looking down from the throne of his computer station at all the "pathetic" minions on LS.

 

Have a nice life darlin'- and good luck, methinks you are going to need it!

[Darkzen]

Sure you do. Let me just grovel at your feet, oh master of manipulation. (and the universe) I am not worthy!

If you are making me respond in this way, then why the frustration that it isn't "logical".

 

My life doesn't revolve around my views re: your situation.

 

Of course my views influence MY life.

 

Don't be so pendantic.

 

You really get off on this don't you?

 

I am done with this, you are clearly a megalomaniac who is getting off on looking down from the throne of his computer station at all the "pathetic" minions on LS.

 

Have a nice life darlin'- and good luck, methinks you are going to need it!

 

Too funny.

[marlena]

marlena: What does, me having a life, have to do with validating the points I make... I stay here as long as necessary to read what's been said, make my counter-points and go about my life. I'm sorry if you stalk the site and feel that makes you special. I have a busy schedule between ju-jitsu, the gym and school. Stalking Loveshack.org isn't a high priority of mine.

 

So, I feel I'm Socrates and Einstein? Show me where I implied this, please, I'd love to see it. Oh, you must think that because, I enjoy Socrates' teachings this obviously means I see myself as a Socrates... right. Or because I have a high IQ, this automatically means I must see myself as an Einstein... right.

 

I never compared Bosnia to my situation. I was explaining why I have conviction, in my beliefs that people must fight against injustice.

 

As for the "malaka" comment, my Greek friends use the word as an exclamation when frustrated. That's how it's use was intended. I didn't say anything like "You're a malaka". That's a problem with text based communication, I write as I would sp]eak. Had I wanted to call you a "malaka", I would have come right and done so.

 

 

 

Please, do not respond directly to my posts. They weren't meant for you. They were meant for the other posters in here...

 

I refuse to deal with people of such inferior intelligence

[sb129]

I refuse to deal with people of such inferior intelligence

 

Too funny!

 

i am glad you find my posts amusing D-plonker, as yours are great entertainment!

 

Although as with anything long-winded and pointless, its getting a little boring now.

 

Could you not post until you have something new to say- maybe let us know how your ex reacts, or if she gets sacked or whatever?

 

You'll have more time for those hobbies, martial arts and plans for world domination then.

[JamesM]

JamesM: Well obviously, you'll have problems if you selectively pick and choose statements out of context.

 

Hmm...not sure how much more context I can give them. I highlighted them within the quote, so that this accusation could not (again) be made. I left the whole quote stand, so that the sentence could be seen within the context.

 

Probably why I don't see things the way you see them, I read the words and interpret them in the context of the conversation. Not only in the context of what the words mean.

 

Good, we agree on this at least. I also get a feel for the attitude of all sentences by the words chosen. For instance, if I type "FAT CAT!" this looks like I am yelling at you and calling you a fat cat. If I type it as "fat cat :laugh:" it can be seen that it is meant as a humorous statement. This is attitude. I notice that when I bring out a statement that seems to be not what you like, you think I bring it out of context. It certainly is not my intention, nor do I think I am doing it. Besides, anyone can go back and read the whole thing within the context YOU provided. They can also see if you make similar statements in other posts that support the statement made.

 

As to why you don't see things as I see them, I am guessing that this is much more complex than simply the fact that we read the comments differently...or that I take your statements out of context. I am guessing that it is also related to our life experiences and beliefs. While it seems that your words meant one thing, I read them from my perspective and experiences and then give you feedback. This is what everyone here does.

 

So based on what you just described a discussion to be... talking is done for what purpose?

 

Easy...learning and communication of ideas. Actually no, talking is simply done for communication.

 

Listening is done for what purpose?

 

Listening is how we learn. We cannot learn without listening. (Please...I know we can read, too). It is an active process. And it requires the conscious desire to determine what we hear. It is NOT simply determining how we can respond and counterpoint.

 

Asking questions are done for what purpose?

 

I'll bite...to learn.

 

What's purpose of discussion and debating?

 

Actually, this is two questions not one.

 

The primary purpose of debate is to persuade a third party, that is, the debate judge and/or the audience. The intention is to win by being the one who presents the "best" logic as decided by the readers, listeners, or judges. That is why they have "debate teams" not "discussion teams." The winner of a debate can be totally wrong regarding correct conclusions. He simply argued the points the best. Respect for the opponent does not need to be shown...in fact, good debaters can win more points by actually making their opponents look "stupid."

 

A discussion involves an exchange of ideas and opinions with the sole purpose of learning. Respect is given to all opinions. While it is important to give factual support to your own ideas, it is not necessary to belittle those that do not agree with your own. In fact, for better understanding and education, it is best to ask alot of questions instead of constantly telling your own opinions.

 

No matter what road you choose, it all is supposed to lead to the same goal... understanding.

 

Incorrect. See my comments above.

 

It's not a discussion if both sides only make statements, it cannot go anywhere. Person A: "I like salad"... Person B: "I don't like salad". What did that conversation accomplish? Neither of those people have any greater understanding into one another.

 

Here you brought up two ideas and compared them. Discussions can be conversations, but conversations do not have to be discussions. And even though you do not think the above discussion was beneficial to you, it may have been to those participants. Person A may have said he or she liked a salad, because in the greater context, it was known to both that it was lunchtime. Since the other person said he or she did not like a salad, no more conversation was needed. They both may have a greater understanding of each other. Previously, it was not known how each felt about salads. And since it was lunchtime, Person A could be driving to a restaurant. Since Person B does not like salad, this may have determined which restaurant is going to be chosen.

 

A discussion does not need to be lengthy or confrontational. It does not need to always involve a lot of reason and logic. It is all about exchanging ideas and feedback.

 

We're both entitled to our opinions.

 

We are. And this "discussion" was about the respect that should be given to both sides. Showing a disrespect to opposing opinions does not encourage better understanding. That is why to me many of your posts fit the "debate" description...not the "discussion" description.

 

Deny what you will, but words are only words to me, your actions/inactions are way more telling to me.

 

This is a statement that doesn't seem to fit anything. But you are right. Two things...first off, you only know me by my words as I only know you by your words. Second, believe it or not, you ARE judged by your words here on this forum. And your words DO say a lot about you. That is why you have so many posts to your thread.

 

To you if someone quits posting before the discussion has been completed...in your eyes, they have either been refuted or have shown cowardice. If they have not stayed and "fought," then you know them by their inactions. In a discussion, a person may simply be done speaking his opinions. Nothing more is needed. He or she may become bored or have nothing more to contribute. It does not mean that the conversation is worthless or that the person is ignorant. It simply means that he or she quit.

 

Deep down we know that this is the case. Any other interpretation...well, that shows simply that it is an interpretation. And an interpretation is just an opinion.

[Kasan]

Darkzen,

 

Here is the issue that I have with the tone and content of your postings. You started this thread with a would you question. We all gave you are opinions.

 

As the "tale" and thread unfolded all of us realized that this wasn't a hypothetical discussion, but in fact a "done deal."

 

We all chimed in once again and gave you our thoughts on revenge and payback. Some of us feared for your heart and soul, while others of us wondered about your mental health.

 

You responded to us, dissecting our comments point for point, building a case of validation and justification for your actions. It's okay, it's America, and you're entitled to your opinion.

 

So my question to you is what is there to debate???? You already did the revenge thing, feel pretty good about it from what I read, but where is there anything left to debate?

 

I guess that I am glad that you are here (another poster on another thread made me realize this) because I need a reminder that the world is made up of many different people and some aren't always nice.

 

So whatever gets you through the night....by the way, there are usually some good debates in the "Water Cooler", you might want to check it out.

[underpants]

"The balance will be paid in full, in my eyes. She made me out to be a bad guy, I showed her I can be a bad guy... no questions remain in my mind, on why she saw me as a bad guy. I justified her views on me and in doing so, do not feel I was unjustly treated any more. I wasn't about to live my life, carrying her actions on my shoulders."

 

So,

 

She made you out to be a bad guy. You showed her that you can be a bad guy.

 

You high intelligence and manipulation skills won out over reason and compassion?

 

I am curious to her temperment. Would you describe her as submissive or passive when things were going well for you two?

 

Did you have to have discussions with her when she was displaying 'illogical' thinking or in disagreement with you? Did she give up and just agree with you to end the ...debate?

 

If you live your life like a Greek tragedy then don't expect a happy ending.

 

This is much ado about nothing.

[sb129]

I guess that I am glad that you are here (another poster on another thread made me realize this) because I need a reminder that the world is made up of many different people and some aren't always nice.

 

This thread also makes me appreciate how nice my BF is, and how lucky I am to be in a happy R with him.

 

I don't want to sound smug, and apologies if I do. My exBF had tones of Darkzen about him, and it really freaked me out in the end, so I feel I am overdue a nice guy.

[lindya]

I don't want to sound smug, and apologies if I do. My exBF had tones of Darkzen about him, and it really freaked me out in the end, so I feel I am overdue a nice guy.

 

I must admit I find it all quite unnerving. I'm imagining having a conversation with a guy I was dating. Let's say I'd started to really like him - and he came out with all that. I can imagine a conversation along the lines of...

 

Me: "So if I do something to piss you off, I can expect the forces of avenging angels to be unleashed most painfully upon me."

 

BF "It's not a question of if you piss me off. More if you do something really evil. In the latter situation - yes, I would take revenge."

 

Me. "Oh. That's okay then. Hang on - what's the difference between pissing you off and doing something really evil."

 

BF "Just follow my rules, and you'll stay on the straight and narrow...."

 

Cue Tales of the Unexpected theme tune. I don't know why. It just popped into my head.

[marlena]

Or held at gunpoint:

 

Do as I say and I won't hurt you!

[Kasan]

before I leave this thread.....

 

Darkzen, we have all been screwed over by lovers, husbands, families, bosses, and hell, even the government.

 

Your story is not that unique at all, nor are your actions. We have all at one time or another taken great joy in payback, myself included.

 

As I have look back on my life, I see that the actions that I took to hurt someone that I once cared about a great deal, now cause me great embarrassment and shame. Someone also pointed out to me at the time, that I would come to regret my decision. I argued my point of view just like you are doing. But in the end they were right although it took me two decades to see it.

 

Will you feel regret for your actions? Maybe, maybe not, only time will tell.

 

But I do know this....being right does not always make you happy, and we all know that life is hard enough without adding self inflicted misery.

 

Namaste

[luvmy2ns]

I've read a good portion of this thread, and I find it very interesting that some people who have confessed to adulterous relationships with married men are on this thread using the word "morality" against the OP as if they actually know the meaning of the word. I also find it interesting that, though there have been other threads where people have agreed that "helping karma along" is okay, most are bashing the hell out of him for that as well.

[sb129]

I've read a good portion of this thread, and I find it very interesting that some people who have confessed to adulterous relationships with married men are on this thread using the word "morality" against the OP as if they actually know the meaning of the word. I also find it interesting that, though there have been other threads where people have agreed that "helping karma along" is okay, most are bashing the hell out of him for that as well.

 

I will take it that post was directed squarely at me, couldn't resist, could you Luvmy2ns, from high on that morality horse of yours?

 

I still have a right to say what I consider to be moral or not. Opinions on morals differ from person to person, as this thread as demonstrated.

 

You seem to have missed the point that I WAS an OW. Ie: am not one any more. Nor do I plan to ever be in that situation ever again, as I learned that lesson the hard way. I made some mistakes for which I am sorry.

I can't change them. i am not perfect.

Learning from your previous mistakes (and admitting to them) shouldn't be condemned, especially by someone who is holier than thou and oh so perfect. I am surprised that you seem to actually be supporting the OP- wouldn't have put you in that camp at all.

 

Do you actually have an opinion on the matter, or did you come here solely to stir things up?

[Trimmer]

Dark: In the end (which does feel like it's coming near...) I think I have both more sympathy for your points (which may surprise you) as well as ambivalence (which probably will not.)

 

You started out talking about keeping her money - implying that you were taking what was hers - and leaving her jobless and broke. In the end, she's got some explaining to do to her employer (much of which will likely be successfully based upon the phrase "My psycho ex-boyfriend called Human Resources and said what???") and she's not going to get a $50K gift that she probably didn't expect to get anyway.

 

You started out fuming about destroying her life, and in the end, I have a feeling that she isn't going to end up destroyed. This thread turned out to be about a lot of smoke and no fire.

 

I'll say it one last time... I'M NOT LOOKING FOR AGREEMENT, I'M LOOKING FOR PEOPLE'S REASONING BEHIND WHY THEY SEE THINGS THE WAY THEY DO. Understand it yet?

I will probably never be able to explain it to you in sterile, objective logic. I had a spouse for 13 years, who cheated on me and lied to me about it, and then "convinced me" to have 2 kids and then cheated on me and walked out again 9 years later with little more than "I just don't want to be married to you any more." We can have a pissing match over whose ex is "more evil" but the reason I can walk away without feeling like a coward isn't explainable to you in words.

 

I get up in the morning, and I know - without needing to have anyone outside me validate it, or without having to appeal to some outside objective, "irrefutable logic" - I know I'm not a coward. I don't need to convince you, I don't need people, or logic, to convince me. I feel it.

 

Just like I feel the grief at what I lost when the woman I loved left, and I don't try, or need, to mask it with anger, retribution, justice... We will all move forward through life, myself included, and although I cannot explain it to you in irreducible, irrefutable, logical words, I appreciate and treasure that I can feel my whole life: joy, pain, and everything in the grey inbetween.

 

I won't try to convince you how you "should be." That's simply my best shot at explaining why I have a different take on your situation.

 

Good luck, sir.