Would you destroy another person's life?

[reboot]

Why are people giving him advice? He doesn't want advice, he wants to argue.

[Darkzen]

This is obsessive behavior, and I wonder how it is that you don't have a RO slapped on you. Your anger rolls off your posts in waves. I am in shock that there is an expectation that people subscribe to your code of ethics or there will be a heavy price to pay.

 

You accuse people who read the bible as righteous, but in your anger you have made yourself just as righteous in righting a perceived wrong.

 

I am worried for you and your ex...

 

Righteousness =/= anger. I'm not angry at all. I'm merely determined. And the determination isn't due to anger, it's due to conviction in my ideals.

 

I'm also far from obsessive, I'm moving on now that I feel justice has been served. No one has to do anything. They have free will, but it doesn't give them a "get out of jail" card because they have it. If I murder someone, I will have consequences to deal with. Why is murder worse than anything else, by the logic I've been hearing... can't we all just let it go and move on? It's worse because someone determined it was and we follow that ideal. In the case of murders, can't we just let it go and move on... doesn't that sound absurd to you.

 

Yes, she did many things that are far worse than what I did in return. She lied to all my friends (defaming my character with falsehoods), to the point one of them a carried gun, once he realized the truth he apologized to me. She cheated on me with co-workers, creating tension and embarrassment at work. I could go on and on, I have 9 years worth of stories. These aren't things that I just felt either, it's a couple of examples of her actions having a very real effect on those around me.

[Kasan]

Yes, she did many things that are far worse than what I did in return. She lied to all my friends (defaming my character with falsehoods), to the point one of them a carried gun, once he realized the truth he apologized to me. She cheated on me with co-workers, creating tension and embarrassment at work. I could go on and on, I have 9 years worth of stories. These aren't things that I just felt either, it's a couple of examples of her actions having a very real effect on those around me.

 

 

Your punishment to her does not fit the crime and I am beginning to wonder if you are a troll out for some research on a paper that is due Monday.

 

Well according to you the deed of revenge is done. Enjoy!

 

And I do believe in karma.....

[Darkzen]

If she is abusing you, it's because you are ALLOWING her to do so.

 

 

 

You mean to tell me you had no red flags when you were dating her that said "GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW????" How can you hold her responsible for you ignoring that she was not a good person? If you knew this and I think you did, you can not blame her for the way you feel.

 

Blame her for being a heartless cheat but blame yourself for staying in the relationship IN SPITE of what you knew.

 

I do.

 

Again, I harken back to the beginning of the relationship. If you knew something was wrong, if you had red flags and ignored them, then you are partly to blame as well.

 

I didn't see the red flags until after a full year, because it was a LTR to start. Even after I saw them, she promised to change and be better... I had hope in the concept of people changing and for that I'm guilty. Like I said, I don't blame her for my emotional state, merely the the disrespect, lying, cheating, turning people against me, broken promises, etc...

 

Incorrect. I am NOT EVEN CLOSE to being righteous. There was only one man who was ever righteous in God's eyes on this planet and I am not fit to breathe the same air He did.

 

Acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous... it's not that hard of a requirement to follow. I highly doubt only Jesus was righteous.

 

I read God's inspired word.

 

You're entitled to your beliefs.

 

It sounds like you are holding her accountable for everything and seek revenge, as if somehow revenge will make things right.

 

It's not revenge, it's reckoning. Nor do I hold her accountable for everything, only her actions.

 

Turn the other cheek and walk away. Be a bigger man than her. She will only effect you and your outlook on life as long as YOU allow her to.

 

She doesn't affect me any more, now that I feel justice has been served. I plan to move on now.

If you are not in control of your emotions then by default your emotions are in control of you.

 

I'm the last person to talk to about being in control of emotions, I'm ruled by logic.

 

P.S. I'm not arguing, I'm debating and discussing a topic. I see points people make and am offering counter-points. As things continue to clarify on both sides, we begin to reach the heart of opinions. If anyone here feels that I'm not using intelligence and courtesy in the way I'm posting, I'll stop if they want.

[Darkzen]

Your punishment to her does not fit the crime and I am beginning to wonder if you are a troll out for some research on a paper that is due Monday.

 

Well according to you the deed of revenge is done. Enjoy!

 

And I do believe in karma.....

 

And your reasons for this opinion? What, to you, would be fitting for her actions?

[reboot]

Have you considered chopping her up with an axe?

[Trialbyfire]

Have you considered chopping her up with an axe?

This is way too messy and uncreative. It's been done so many times. Why would he want to run with the crowd?

[reboot]

I dunno, he just seems like the type.

[Kasan]

I dunno, he just seems like the type.

 

Nope, I think he is one of those fun-loving UNH kids prepping for his philosophy class.

[VIP]

What is done cannot be undone. You created your own bad luck. Now no woman in her right mind will ever get involved with you. And you wouldn't hide it, would you? And why would you hide it, if it was "justice" according to you.

 

As far as your ex, she will feel lucky once again that she got rid of a vindictive psycho. And you, in the back of your mind you know, that what you've done is wrong, and even if you try to forget, your conscience will remember. It doesn't matter what she did, you are responsible for YOUR actions.

 

If you think you are strong, there's always somebody stronger than you. Think about it.

[IpAncA]

To answer your question I've personally had someone try it and to an extent it left a mark but no I wouldn't do it back. There's no point unless you want to look like an idiot.

[Darkzen]

Have you considered chopping her up with an axe?

 

Death is the easy way out. In order for justice to be served, she has to suffer equally. Nor do I break the law.

 

What is done cannot be undone. You created your own bad luck. Now no woman in her right mind will ever get involved with you. And you wouldn't hide it, would you? And why would you hide it, if it was "justice" according to you.

 

As far as your ex, she will feel lucky once again that she got rid of a vindictive psycho. And you, in the back of your mind you know, that what you've done is wrong, and even if you try to forget, your conscience will remember. It doesn't matter what she did, you are responsible for YOUR actions.

 

If you think you are strong, there's always somebody stronger than you. Think about it.

 

It's possible, that I'm not seeking a woman "in her right mind". All depends on your perspective, if you consider me not "in my right mind", then that's exactly the type of woman I seek. One that is strong-willed and convicted in her ideals. Not someone that will be stepped-on, easily influenced and will change their minds every 5 mins.

 

Seriously, you're contradicting yourself here. I'm responsible for my actions, but it doesn't matter what she did? Whose taking responsibility for her actions then, if she is choosing not to? Had I walked away, she doesn't have to deal with anything. People are masters of justifying things in their head to suppress feelings. I know you read that and think it applies to me lol. I'm not suppressing my feelings though, I acted on them. She'll hate me for this and in her head, she'll fabricate the details to make herself feel better. Although, she had already done this, in regards to her own accountability. She said that she felt bad for the things she did, but refused to try and make amends for her actions.

 

Appearance is subjective, I may appear like an idiot to you, but a hero to someone else. I find it amusing that in stories we read about heroes fighting back against evil (injustice, tyranny, etc..), yet I do the same thing and "omg I vindictive". People are romanced by the concept of heroes (you cannot tell me that they don't use harsh justice either). We all make choices in life, those that hurt people without cause is what I consider evil. I'm sure many would agree with that definition also. So are these concepts and ideals only viable in our fantasy?

[VIP]

In order for justice to be served, she has to suffer equally.

 

If everybody was like you, what a dark place the world would be.

 

It's possible, that I'm not seeking a woman "in her right mind". All depends on your perspective, if you consider me not "in my right mind", then that's exactly the type of woman I seek. One that is strong-willed and convicted in her ideals. Not someone that will be stepped-on, easily influenced and will change their minds every 5 mins.

 

A woman cannot confide in you, because she knows that you cannot be trusted to behave with honour if she decides to leave you one day.

 

I'm responsible for my actions, but it doesn't matter what she did? Whose taking responsibility for her actions then, if she is choosing not to? Had I walked away, she doesn't have to deal with anything.

 

Isn't it better to put your energy into something constructive? Her actions are her responsibility. She creates her destiny with her actions. What do you have to do with that? You need to learn from this experience, that's why it was given to you in the first place. She is teaching you something here and you will be grateful for this experience later on.

 

People are masters of justifying things in their head to suppress feelings. I know you read that and think it applies to me lol. I'm not suppressing my feelings though, I acted on them.

 

You don't need to suppress your feelings, you have to let yourself feel and understand why everything happened the way it did and what you can do in order to prevent it from happening with you in the future.

 

Appearance is subjective, I may appear like an idiot to you, but a hero to someone else. I find it amusing that in stories we read about heroes fighting back against evil (injustice, tyranny, etc..), yet I do the same thing and "omg I vindictive". People are romanced by the concept of heroes (you cannot tell me that they don't use harsh justice either).

 

Is your ex a personification of all evil? I think your imagination took the best of you.

 

We all make choices in life, those that hurt people without cause is what I consider evil.

 

And those that hurt people with a cause are not evil?

[rockinbeyondrepair]

wow mate, did she bite your dick off? two wrongs don't make a right my friend...unless we take the mathematical route, in which case two negatives in fact make a positive so that's my input bye!

[squeak]

That you posted your picture and listed in detail how you plan to get revenge on your ex on an accessible internet forum makes me question if you have really seen this through all the angles. It seems foolhardy that you have left such a paper trail already.

 

Do you really think this will go as smoothly as you think? Do you think she hasn't considered those possible options from your end and protected herself accordingly? After all, she has known you very well for 9 years. Don't do something that could backfire and make you even more mad. Proceed with caution.

[Mustang Sally]

Question: Would you destroy another person's life?

Answer: NO. And certainly not with any intent.

 

The thread makes me say "Yikes!"

[Darkzen]

That you posted your picture and listed in detail how you plan to get revenge on your ex on an accessible internet forum makes me question if you have really seen this through all the angles. It seems foolhardy that you have left such a paper trail already.

 

Do you really think this will go as smoothly as you think? Do you think she hasn't considered those possible options from your end and protected herself accordingly? After all, she has known you very well for 9 years. Don't do something that could backfire and make you even more mad. Proceed with caution.

 

I'm not breaking the law. So how can she do anything to me. Did she not break rules at her job? Yes she did. Did she not invest money in a company that shows a loss? Yes she did. So explain how she can do anything to me? I didn't break any laws and me reporting her activities is a moral matter, not a legal one... she's the one who left a paper trail at her job, they'll find it and she'll get fired. I merely pointed them to the trail.

 

wow mate, did she bite your dick off? two wrongs don't make a right my friend...unless we take the mathematical route, in which case two negatives in fact make a positive so that's my input bye!

 

One wrong and inaction doesn't make a right either. Although, one wrong and one right make balance. She refused to do right to offset the wrong. So the only other way to offset this (I.E. create balance) was to wrong her equally.

 

If everybody was like you, what a dark place the world would be.

 

So you believe the world isn't already a dark place? Is it better to have people just running around doing whatever the F they want, without fear of consequence? Checks and balances are require to prevent absolute <insert blank>.

 

A woman cannot confide in you, because she knows that you cannot be trusted to behave with honour if she decides to leave you one day.

 

No, a women can confide in me. I'll behave with honor as well, as long as she does the same. You must be under the assumption that she did nothing wrong and we just drifted apart or didn't work well together. If that was the case, she'd probably be my friend atm.

 

Is your ex a personification of all evil? I think your imagination took the best of you.

 

There's no such being, besides the concept of Satan, that is the personification of all evil. My ex is evil. She willingly inflicted pain and suffering onto me, without cause.

 

And those that hurt people with a cause are not evil?

 

No, they're not. If a man is defending his home and hurts someone, is he evil? Is the person that administers the lethal injection evil? Is the judge who sentences someone to prison evil? See the theme yet?

[squeak]

I think if you need to, you need to.

 

I was not judging or being critical beyond the initial thought that if you do this, and if it does not go as planned: you may end up doubly angry.

 

That was my whole point-just to make sure you don't end up being even more angry if the plan does not work, to make sure you thought it through and no nasty surprises will happen to you as a result. Do you understand what I mean?

 

I think you already know what you are going to do, I was only stating to make sure she doesn't have some counter attack you are not prepared to fight out.

 

I have never felt a betrayal as horrifying as the one you described, so I cannot say if I would or would not do that having never felt the specific emotions you are feeling. Anything is possible.

 

That being said-I am not against an eye for an eye where called for.

[Newtotheblogthing]

I realize after reading my post that I sound very self righteous and didn't mean to. I have an opinion about going out of your way hurt someone that's all. I have been doing everything wrong myself.. sleeping with my ex without consideration for a new girlfriend. In my brain it doesn't matter, she's not significan and not real. Two months vs. 3 years.

 

So with that said, I can't begin to understand your situation. It's amazing how clearly I can see faults in others behavior but when it comes to my own situations it's as if the lights go out, the glasses are fogged over.. I just can't see.

 

At the end of the day I might be a hyporcrite but I am not purposefully doing something to harm another human being. That's what you're doing right?

[underpants]

I guess it is easier to avenge a wrong done to another then to take matters into your own hands. Less emotion.

 

It used to be a hobby of mine. I have moved on and do less avenging these days. Although, occasionally when presented with the opportunity to right a wrong I may step in.

 

It sounds as though you are attempting to make her accountable for unprofessional work practices. You do have a personal ax to grind however and this is your motivation for taking an action.

 

I don't understand about the 50k thing.

 

Ultimately you will feel a mild vindication and then ...not so much.

 

Sorry she broke your heart. Don't let it break you.

[CaliGuy]

Death is the easy way out. In order for justice to be served, she has to suffer equally. Nor do I break the law.

 

I still say "Who made you judge, jury and executioner???"

 

It's possible, that I'm not seeking a woman "in her right mind". All depends on your perspective, if you consider me not "in my right mind", then that's exactly the type of woman I seek. One that is strong-willed and convicted in her ideals. Not someone that will be stepped-on, easily influenced and will change their minds every 5 mins.

 

Birds of a feather tend to flock together. If you're drawing bad women to you there's a good reason for that....

 

Seriously, you're contradicting yourself here. I'm responsible for my actions, but it doesn't matter what she did?

 

Yes, but your focus seems to be entirely on what she did and yet you take little or no responsibility for allowing it to happen. There are two sides to every story and all we've heard is yours.

 

Whose taking responsibility for her actions then, if she is choosing not to?

 

Bad things happen to bad people. She will get hers when the time is right and you wouldn't have to do a thing.

 

Had I walked away, she doesn't have to deal with anything. People are masters of justifying things in their head to suppress feelings. I know you read that and think it applies to me lol. I'm not suppressing my feelings though, I acted on them. She'll hate me for this and in her head, she'll fabricate the details to make herself feel better. Although, she had already done this, in regards to her own accountability. She said that she felt bad for the things she did, but refused to try and make amends for her actions.

 

So did my ex and though I could have "revenge" by really screwing up her relationship now, I find myself not having a need. She is a bad person and I realize that. But what's more important to me is moving on and my life is going great. Whatever happens to her doesn't matter to me anymore. She is no longer a part of my life.

 

You're dwelling on the past. The revenge may make you feel better in the short term but in the long run, you're no better a person than she is.

 

Appearance is subjective, I may appear like an idiot to you, but a hero to someone else.

 

I certainly hope no one sees your actions as heroic, for they certainly are not.

 

I find it amusing that in stories we read about heroes fighting back against evil (injustice, tyranny, etc..), yet I do the same thing and "omg I vindictive".

 

You're not a hero. You're bitter, angry and vindictive and hold yourself accountable for litte, but a hero you are not. Not even close.

 

People are romanced by the concept of heroes (you cannot tell me that they don't use harsh justice either). We all make choices in life, those that hurt people without cause is what I consider evil. I'm sure many would agree with that definition also. So are these concepts and ideals only viable in our fantasy?

 

Again, you seem to be holding her 100% accountable for making you feel this way when in reality, you are just as responsible.

 

When are you going to get revenge on yourself, Mr. Hero????

[Illicit Angel]

So I figure that by doing this, it'll A) make me feel better that she gets to share my misery B) teach her a lesson so that she kind of understands the pain she caused me

 

 

Karmically you could suffer from sending such a lesson with so much negativity ... don't let this women ruin all the nice qualities within you!

 

In some of the responses i have read i think you were treated a bit harshly ... feeling so hurt and such anger can make people react in ways they wouldn't normally. My advice to you would be is to think ' is this really the best way forward for you?' Good luck

[johan]

I think you won't get any satisfaction out of it. It won't make you a better person. It will do the opposite. Just thank God that she is out of your life, and let the universe have its way with her.

[Cobra_X30]

I think you won't get any satisfaction out of it. It won't make you a better person. It will do the opposite. Just thank God that she is out of your life, and let the universe have its way with her.

 

I want to quickly give a shout out to Johan!

 

Johan, ever single time you post. I either laugh or smile. Nobody else can do that!

[lonelybird]

I came here to talk and have a discussion about things I'm thinking, not for justification. The act is done. Talking about things helps me contemplate other perspectives, nothing more, nothing less. What gives me the right to fight back, some ask? Maybe because I'm in a position to do so and convicted enough in my beliefs to carry it out. I'm not trying to fight all the world's injustices, just the ones that personally affect me.

 

I would love for the world to be perfect, but I know it's not and one man cannot change it. One man can change the things that affect him though. I have integrity. I live my life doing what is right (even when I don't have to). I see, me fighting back, as right and I'm did it. She made her bed and must now lie in it. For every action/inaction there is a reaction.

 

I'm prepared to live by my actions. I know that I acted justly in the situation, harsh maybe, but justly. There will be no questions or regret. I appreciate the replies, at least the ones, where people aren't trying to break me down with psych 101 bull. Trust me, I'm familiar with it, psychology isn't perfect by any means...

Darkzen,

 

you think you fight for injustice, but really you and I and all human beings should fight the devils in ourselves, that is the real battle. when someone do you wrong, can you overcome the urge taking revenge? if you follow your emotion all the time, you can become easily just as the one who wronged you. you become lower, not higher. you let evil overcome good,

 

let good overcome evil is the real battle

 

I didn't read whole thread, and didn't know what you did, but apologize to her is a good start to fight the real 'injustice'