Author H0ney Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 Thank you squeak I agree... it's always worried me about his friends and his parents don't like his friends either- they all grew up together though so chances of him ditching these guys isnt likely, though I wish it were. I truly hope he doesn't treat me like the other guys do behind my back. And whichwayisup, youre absolutely right. we've been together about 11 months. But see, the reason why I was so upset in the first place is because in the beginning he always questioned me about if I "did a video with my ex" etc and I said no, I have nothing like that of him it's all long gone, and we had basically set a boundary saying "no nude pic/vids of exes- thats not ok" and he crossed the line... I feel like I have taken it very very very well compared to how some other girls would, or how I wanted to handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 What are your BF's exact thoughts on the type of friend that would send him pics of his naked GF? Do you hang out with these people? What has he said to comfort/reassure you about that behavior of his friend? Does he think it is okay? The way it is handled is important: Apologies/behavior change is important to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author H0ney Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 OK UPDATE --> I just went to empty his trash and he had already done it- however, i took one more look through his SENT folder and see he sent THE SAME VIDEO 3 times in 2 days!! And we had been dating for TWO MONTHS!! ahhh do I bring THIS up? Link to post Share on other sites
Izzy B Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 1. Push the delete button yourself! They're in the trash...so delete them for him. 2. Then, dump him! He is a total weirdo. Any guy that would want to show his gf's naked pics to his friends and circulate it around is...a loser and has absolutely NO respect for you. DON'T EVER take naked pics with a guy, or videos. You could be the next internet porn star without even knowing it. A man who loves you won't insist on having a naked photo of you. He is sending the video because he is keeping it saved. DUMP HIM. I can't express this enough. Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 H-am I getting this right? He didn't circulate your picture around, the one he sent to himself 3x was of his ex. Why would he send it to himself 3times? Was it coming from one email of his to the one you have the password to? I'm confused-why would someone need to send themselves something they already have---what???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author H0ney Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 Squeak- yes it is of his ex, he was sending it to his phone. he sent it 3 times Im guessing cause maybe he didnt get it the 1st time or something? Either way, it was while we were dating and it was no accident. I'M PISSED and I don't know what to do- please help and SOON! cause he will be over here in a half hour. Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 one thing needs to be cleared up-when exactly was this pic of his GF taken (that he sent from his phone to his email 3X) ? That raises red flags because it makes me question "was this a recent pic? Why would he have sent it into his email account 2 months into our relationship , and they probably broke up long before that" , so that is unsettling. Can you see the date the actual picture was taken? Second, okay-he did violate a very clear agreement. One he made, strangely enough. It was also 2 months into your relationship, with no repeated incidents. First figure out when the original picture was taken. Link to post Share on other sites
Illicit Angel Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 I'M PISSED and I don't know what to do- please help and SOON! cause he will be over here in a half hour. Honey, he kept it .... sent it to himself over and over .... okay yeah this is not cool behaviour but not weird for a guy. Think about how your feeling right now .... think about how when you look at him your going to play this over and over in your head .... you can't keep a relationship with so much distrust in him. Sod it keep the password, he gave it to you. If he changes it your only going to want it again, i've been there!! It's really hard to not know if he sent your pic or not especially since he has that one of his friends g/f. All you can do is tell him how you feel about this .... hopefully as your talking to him he will see the anguish this caused, and more importantly you will work out what you need to help you move on that dosen't mean without him .... he hasn't done anything in the last nine mths you've been together don't forget about that .... i'm hoping he was just stupid in the begining and will make all the effort he needs to put this right Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author H0ney Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 The video was not recent, im guessing a couple years old or so. he sent it from his phone to his inbox in nov 06 which was before we were tegether. but then, in feb 06 (2 months into our relationship) he had sent the SAME vid from his email to his phone 3x. which means he probably got off to it, SICKKKK!!! Not to mention, he had pics and stuff me.. ew Link to post Share on other sites
Author H0ney Posted September 22, 2007 Author Share Posted September 22, 2007 by the way its not the fact he kept it and that that is discusting, but moreso the fact that he LIED to me twice, you see? 1) he said he had no pics/vids of her anymore and made sure i had none of my ex 2) he said "thats so old i havent watched that in forever blah blah blah" well- why was it sent to his phone during our relationship? The lies are what bother me, and I can't trust him anymore it's been driving me insane Link to post Share on other sites
squeak Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 Yes, it was wrong of him, and yes you definitely need to talk about it. I think this stuff happens all the time but most people are blissfully (?) unaware. So you know he did use it for pleasuring purposes, it is good he deleted it, but his attidute is wrong. He should be more understanding, and he really needs to do whatever he needs to to quell your resulting nausea. Don't ever let him use the "f" word on you-ever! Seriously-wa;lk out if he talks to you like that-or tell him you have nothing to say until he apologizes and leave. The way you too communicate is more important now than the actual incident, it will say a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
Illicit Angel Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 The lies are what bother me, and I can't trust him anymore it's been driving me insane Thats the bit i was alking about im sorry if i wasn't clear to you What i was trying to say was if you think you will be able to work on it and learn to trust him again (depending on the effort he contributes!) and if you can believe it won't ever happen again then stick with it. If not ..... then it will end .... maybe not tonight .... maybe not nxt wk but it will end. You won't be able to love him completely without trusting him not to hurt you like this again. Talk to him and explain he has destroyed your belief in anything he tells you because you saw otherwise. Keep in mind he lied before and might lie again. You will know when you lok into his eyes if he means what he says .. I hope i was a little help Link to post Share on other sites
Illicit Angel Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 The way you too communicate is more important now than the actual incident, it will say a lot. Absolutly!! Link to post Share on other sites
uniqueone Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 I don't think you have much of a chance with this relationship lasting much longer. You've gone over his emails with a fine tooth comb and have tracked everything back to when it occurred throughout the last year and related it to what he told you and when. This is heavy duty investigation and it's not a sign of a good relationship at all. You must have felt that something was amiss before you started snooping. These things just don't happen out of the blue. You're showing disgust at his behavior....another sign of the end being near. He's showing hostility....another bad sign. So what are you looking for here? You must have been having doubts about this relationship before this even happened. It sound like you're wanting some justification to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellnoFire Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 OK UPDATE --> I just went to empty his trash and he had already done it- however, i took one more look through his SENT folder and see he sent THE SAME VIDEO 3 times in 2 days!! And we had been dating for TWO MONTHS!! ahhh do I bring THIS up? so he sent it to people or other email addresses before he deleted them? lol. so they will have it in safe keeping until he wants it back. honestly it is not your job to MAKE someone do something they DONT want to do!!! My current SO WANTED to get rid of pics of his ex etc and it wasn't with any opinion from me. I would be more concerned with the fact that he doesn't want to part with this stuff THAN the actual items themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
MystifiedByMen Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 This is a tuff situation! good luck and I hope he hasn't sent out any bad pics of you. Link to post Share on other sites
zsunnydayz Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 If she searched long and hard enough, I wouldn't be surprised if she finds something.... Link to post Share on other sites
Illicit Angel Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 If she searched long and hard enough, I wouldn't be surprised if she finds something.... Bound to find something else! Does she really need to know though? This was stuff from before the relationship ..... I would however take all the stuff he has of you and delete it ..... he can't be trusted with it! Link to post Share on other sites
zsunnydayz Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 Bound to find something else! Does she really need to know though? This was stuff from before the relationship ..... I would however take all the stuff he has of you and delete it ..... he can't be trusted with it! I was talking about finding something of her on the internet.....If she made and type of video or let him take pictures.. I would never take nude pictures..or record anything w/my SO...It's just too private.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author H0ney Posted September 24, 2007 Author Share Posted September 24, 2007 Yes they had a nasty breakup also- it makes me wonder if he put her vid out there or anything as revenge a long time ago. Also, he saves all that stuff NOT on his computer, but I know a lot of mine are on a password protected flashdrive. Makes me nervous... and not to mention, I don't know if he simply saved his ex's vid on one of his flashdrives and deleted it from his phone/email so I would think it was gone. I don't want to ask him if I can see the flashdrives though because I feel like he will say the same thing- I'm acting like his mother. Or, SHOULD I ask to see the flashdrives? Like someone else said, I can't make him do something he wants to do, and if he didn't want to part with that video I'm afraid he still has it... somewhere...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author H0ney Posted September 24, 2007 Author Share Posted September 24, 2007 By the way, I did ask him about the flashdrives and I said "I hope you didn't save that vid on any of them" and he responded with "Nope, it's all you" but how can I believe him anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
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