does this mean something?

[markymark62]

I am in a 2 year relationship with a wonderful woman who I am planning on marrying next spring. Things are great with us, though our sex life has slowed a little and seems a bit monotonous lately. Otherwise, i can't imagine a better match for me in life. In the past few months, i have been increasingly attracted to a coworker. we flirt and talk at work, but that's it. she has been going through some relationship issues of her own. is this just a harmless attraction or does it mean more? i don't really see myself with this coworker, just someone to flirt with and fantasize about. but the fantasies have been more and more often, sometimes explicit. I feel like maybe this is just me having a hard time letting the single life go. any thoughts out there?

[norajane]

You will be attracted to women throughout your entire life, regardless of whether you are in a committed relationship or not. There are a lot of wonderful people out there, and you won't stop noticing them just because you are in a relationship. As long as you do not ACT on those attractions, eventually they will ebb.

 

I'm sure you find your co-worker's flirtation with you very flattering, you love the attention, and you like feeling admired and sexy. But, keep in mind, that doesn't mean you'd have a great relationship with her. You only know her a little bit from work - you don't have a clue what she's like in a relationship.

 

If you are obsessing about this woman, I'd say it does have something to do with your lackluster sex life with your fiancee. That's making you open to the flirtation and fantasy because you aren't getting your fill of it at home.

 

Great sex starts with communication, and it require BOTH partners to make an effort. Start 'dating' your fiancee again. Plan special evenings out together, take a weekend away with her somewhere fun you both want to go, compliment your girl, FLIRT with your fiancee! Send her sexy texts during the day telling her you were just thinking about her...naked. Send her a naughty email telling her what you'd like to do with her when you get home. Open a bottle of wine one night and ask your fiancee what her fantasies are, what she'd like to try sexually. Tell her what you'd like to try. Take the initiative and try something different - try having sex in the shower, or in the car, or in a different room of the house. Try having sex in front of a mirror, or bring a hand mirror to bed so she can see what you usually see while you're f*cking, but she usually can't.

 

Be creative and don't let your sex life dwindle - it won't get better after you're married, so if it's not working now, do something about it NOW. I'm sure if you relight the fire with your fiancee, your co-worker will seem far less interesting.