Tadd45 Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 To make a long story short, went to a strip club w/ my girl, her friend and her boyfriend... So we were sitting there, I gave my girl some ones so she could go up to the stage. I'm sitting back at the table and looking around at some of the great employes, well one comes over and asked me if I would like a dance, well my girl comes back and starts yelling at me in the club.. Then she starts saying that she wants to go to a male strip club and wants to suck all these guys dicks.. So I just got up and walked outside to let her calm down and b/c she made a scene.. She follows me out and right outside she starts yelling again, so I was like please just chill out, she starts punching me in the face.. I blocked most of them, but she landed a few.. Then I was like, listen i'm calling a friend to come get me, we shouldn't be around each other right now, so I was sitting on the sidewalk and she came up and started kicking me in the face, now I have a huge gash across my face, now shes calling me, crying saying that shes sorry and she feels horrible... Shes lucky i'm a man, and would never touch a woman b/c its so wrong, i'm 6'2 240lbs and shes 5'1 110lbs... What shoudl I do, was I wrong to try and leave to avoid a fight and total embarrasment, should I leave her, so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 There's nothing to be confused about at all. You did nothing wrong. Your girlfriend is totally devoid of class. Dump her now or you'll be very sorry later. Any decent person would have talked to you in private rather than criminally assault you in front of friends and other witnesses (up to a year in jail) and embarass the hell out of you. By the way, even if she had had a few drinks or was drunk...that would be no excuse for this crude and primitive trailer trash behavior. Where did you find this chick??? Link to post Share on other sites
steffany Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 She is phsyco! You sound like a friend of mine...the whole story. Strange Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 14, 2003 Share Posted April 14, 2003 that stripper asked you to dance and - did you accept? regardless, beating you is beyond way out of line, so my advice is also to get away from the girl. hats off to you for not hitting her back, btw! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tadd45 Posted April 15, 2003 Author Share Posted April 15, 2003 I met this girl in high school, we were best friends for 5 years and have been dating for the past three... The stripper asked me if I would like a lap dance, just like they do to every other guy in the place.. It wasn't even my idea to go to the club, it was my girlfriends friends idea..I was very hesitante(sp?) She had a few drinks, and just got jealous...Talked to her last night, she is very depressed, and says this has never happened before in any of her relationships.. But from what I remember when we were just friends, she was in an abusive relationship for 3 years before we dated.. Her parents are recovering alcoholic/drug addicts and her father has been abusive towards her mother and brother for over 25 years now, and have had a very bad marrige, but continue to stay together... I can see that her up-bringing has been rough, does this mean she will act as she has seen..meaning.. does she sub-consciencely think that b/c she has been brought up w/ violence and fighting all around her, will she keep acting that out in any relatonship she persues? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tadd45 Posted April 15, 2003 Author Share Posted April 15, 2003 Oh and by the way, I did not except the dance, I was actually trying to get her away from the table.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 YOU ASK: " Her parents are recovering alcoholic/drug addicts and her father has been abusive towards her mother and brother for over 25 years now, and have had a very bad marrige, but continue to stay together..." All the more reason why you should get away from her. She comes from an abusive and highly dysfunctional family and unless she has some some serious healing work with a psychotherapist, you are headed to having the same kind of life with her that her parents have with each other now. It's textbook. What happened the other night was a mild preview of what your life could be like and her behavior was inexcusable. I don't know why you came here if you just wanted to hear everything's going to be OK...because it's not. This girl had terrible parents and an awful upbringing. While you should feel compassion for her, you don't need to drag her crap into your life. Oh, and you went out of your way NOT to accept this dance and your girl still went ballistic. Just let anybody embarrass me like that in public and they would be sssssoooooooooo history!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tadd45 Posted April 15, 2003 Author Share Posted April 15, 2003 I'm not looking for people to tell me its going to be ok, b/c its not going to be, I know that.. I'm going to go to dinner w/ her tonight, and we are going to stop seeing each other, I figure, i still have love for this girl, I at least should be mature about leaving her, than just saying see ya later, your history... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 15, 2003 Share Posted April 15, 2003 YOU WRITE: "I'm going to go to dinner w/ her tonight, and we are going to stop seeing each other, I figure, i still have love for this girl, I at least should be mature about leaving her, than just saying see ya later, your history..." I hope at some point you can encourage her to seek counselling for her issues...or read books on healing of people from dysfunctional families. I suspect that she has problems with self esteem, insecurity and repressed anger that could be helped by a counsellor. I'm sorry this happened but that's what dating is all about....finding out about a potential mate earlier rather than later. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 16, 2003 Share Posted April 16, 2003 It is unfortunate that she had such a bad background, but abusers come from abusive families, and there are a large number of women who abuse men. She is definitely not a good prospect for a partner. Do as Tony suggests and encourage her to get therapy. She may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and she can't just 'get over it' without help. Link to post Share on other sites
understanding Posted April 16, 2003 Share Posted April 16, 2003 I know someone that had been in a problem like that. He finally left. You should not have to go through something like that. She will do it again if you go back because she is thinking she got away with it once and will again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tadd45 Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Just like to thank all of you, we are offically all done, and I feel great.. I am going to miss her, but I feel like I have freedom from her... She kept me down and was always fighting w/ me about everything... I now have softball and golf to look forward too.. I feel as tho, i'll never find anyone else tho, is this common for people who just break up, feeling of loss? I know I just need to hang w/ my friends and keep my time occupied right? Thanks again Tony and others I feel like a new person She was always yelling, breaking stuff and we fought every single day, about every single thing, and she finally got violent.. I know this may sound wierd, but was I in an abusive realtionship? I never yelled at her and always tried to avert confrontation... I finally got out, and I feel great.. How I feel, is what I read about when women finally get away from an abusive man... Link to post Share on other sites
understanding Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 I am very happy for you. Just stay strong and stand your ground. You will have the feelings like you are having now but things shall past. I try to tell my friend that everyday. If he is really listening I am not sure. But it will pass. Link to post Share on other sites
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