Name change

[LivA79]

Okay, so this morning, my boyfriend and I got into a debate about something, and just need some feedback.

 

He said that it is "American" for women, when they get married, to get rid of their middle name, replace it with their maiden name, and have the husband's last name. Example: Jane Mary Frank married Joe Brown Doe. After marriage, she becomes Jane Frank Doe. I said that it is a preference, and not an "American" thing. Personally, I have not heard of anyone doing this, just his mom and, as he said this morning, Hiliary Clinton.

 

I tried to find this on google, and didn't find much information on it, although I didn't do a lot of searching, but wanted some feedback from other people to see: Have you heard of this? Do you think it's a preference? Is this an "American" thing? etc.

 

I am from the US, but of Mexican background, and I went to a Baptist church, so it's not like I'm not from here, although I grew up in a small town.

 

Opinions are appreciated!!

[Lezbean]

No, it's not like that. You change your last name to his last name.

[quankanne]

it all depends how you feel it fits into your life: Will it be a help if you keep your maiden name and your married name? My boss suggested I use both in my byline so that the Hispanic readership will feel al connection to me as a writer; I don't mind using it because it reflects my heritage as a Hispanic. And it comes in really handy when making contacts and people have a hard time associating my married name with me!

 

or you can choose to keep it because it's something you plan to have reflected when you name your kids: Mary Diaz Smith, parent to Boy Diaz Smith and Girl Diaz Smith.

 

or, in the event of a remarriage, I've seen women use their exhusband's name as a middle name, and then use the new husband's name as a surname. That's also to allow a sense of continuity for the kids, who probably are keeping their daddy's name.

 

for the most part, I've seen women keep the name given them by their parents, and just change their last name to their husband's. That's what I did: Quank Anne E-----, and so far, so good!

[woodsfield]

I tried to find this on google, and didn't find much information on it, although I didn't do a lot of searching, but wanted some feedback from other people to see: Have you heard of this? Do you think it's a preference? Is this an "American" thing? etc.

 

i'm not sure about the americanism of the whole thing...i know women who, like celeberties, never changed their name. my grandmother dropped her last name entirely and kept her middle. my mother and wife dropped the middle and took mine and pop's last name.

 

maybe it is more of an English/British or Euro thing that was passed along to the states. dunno, but it does seem "traditional".

[norajane]

It's not an "American" thing. Some women do that, but by no means do a majority of American women do that.

 

Where I've noticed it is in a professional setting, especially when women get married later in life after they have established themselves in a career and have a professional reputation. There are women who have advanced education and may have published under their maiden names. If they simply change their last name and drop their maiden name altogether, it becomes harder for others to know that she is one and the same woman - especially when checking references and researching background.

 

At my company, for example, where we are a global organization and many of us work in different offices, a number of women use their maiden name as middle name because they have been Jane Frank for years, and they want people to know who they are. But many don't do that - they just always re-introduce themselves until people finally remember who they are.

[Citizen Erased]

Perhaps he has confused it with women extending their last name eg Courtney Cox - Arquette? I have seriously never heard of any person changing their middle name for this reason. And Hillary's middle name is Diane, she didn't change it, she just kept her maiden name and added on Clinton. People just address her as Hillary Rodham Clinton

[Curmudgeon]

Personally, I have not heard of anyone doing this, just his mom and, as he said this morning, Hiliary Clinton.

 

...but, oh well, it is what it is.

 

Up until about the 1960s, social convention was pretty much dictated by books on proper etiquette written by Emily Post (1873-1960), a writer for newspapers, magazines and the author of a number of books. She covered everything from table manners, to entertaining to weddings, funerals, business functions, you name it, and became upper society's "standard" for deportment.

 

Traditionally (it IS an American custom) and "properly," upon marriage a woman would drop her given middle name, substitute her maiden name and take her husband's last name. That was the standard in "polite society" and is still very much in vogue in certain social circles.

 

Interestingly enough, the ex maintained her middle name whil;e taking my last name. My wife, one of the original hippies and bra-burning feminists of the 60s substituted her maiden name for her middle name and also took my last name, thereby being very traditional.

 

Go figure!

 

Hate to tell you but this round goes to your boyfriend!

[Citizen Erased]

...but, oh well, it is what it is.

 

Up until about the 1960s, social convention was pretty much dictated by books on proper etiquette written by Emily Post (1873-1960), a writer for newspapers, magazines and the author of a number of books. She covered everything from table manners, to entertaining to weddings, funerals, businmess functions you name it, and became upper society's "standard" for deportment.

 

Traditionally (it IS an American custom) and "properly," upon marriage a woman would drop her given middle name, substitute her maiden name and take her husband's last name. That was the standard in "polite society" and is still very much in vogue in certain social circles.

 

Interestingly enough, the ex maintained her middle name whil;e taking my last name. My wife, one of the original hippies and bra-burning feminists of the 60s substituted her maiden name for her middle name and also took my last name, thereby being very traditional.

 

Go figure!

 

Hate to tell you but this round goes to your boyfriend!

 

Wow you really are old rofl

[Curmudgeon]

Wow you really are old rofl

 

...I'm still spunky!

[Citizen Erased]

...I'm still spunky!

 

aww you're so cute!

[Curmudgeon]

aww you're so cute!

 

Ditto!