Boyfriend's female friend

[chica12345]

My bf has a female friend. Let's just call her Jane. Has known her for 10 years. We've only been dating for about 7 months. This have been going great. But one thing has beginning to start bothering me. It's his female friend. She is pretty, but single and older then us.

 

Until recently I never thought much about her. But I started noticing things that made me feel uneasy. First of all, all his other friends, male and female included, have been extremely nice to me and I get along with all of them. But with her it's different. Althought Jane has never done anything out right b*thy to me, she is not very friendly. When we see her out, she doesn't say more than a few words to me, usually consisting of "hi, how are you." But my bf and her talk and laugh up a storm. He even talks to her more then he talks to me when we are out together.

 

I recently asked him about her. Apparently they have no dating history but are just good friends. She has even dated some of his other friends.

 

I guess I'm wondering if I am being too jealous or if there is reason to be concerned. He always texts her on the weekends to find out her "plans". She texts him too, but I'm not sure who's doing more of the texting. Him and I hang out so much that if we end up meeting her out, I am always there. When we do meet up with her and her friends, he spends more time talking to her then to me. Noticably more time, enough for my friends to comment on it. And I don't understand why he is so concerned with meeting up with her in the first place.

 

She once told him that she is a "home wrecker" and found this to be funny.

 

They were supposed to go to a wedding together a few months after we started dating. I found out about this because a friend of her's came up to me and said "oh you're ----'s girlfriend. The one that he went out of town with and why he couldn't come to my wedding with Jane". When I questioned him about this he said that they made plans to go to that wedding together before we started dating and that he would never go to a wedding with someone else while we are dating.

 

He once told me "I like Jane. She's a very nice girl."

 

One weekend my bf and I were all out with a bunch of friends. He found out it was Jane's bday, and decided to leave the bar we were at and meet her for a drink to tell her happy birthday. I decided to follow. I arrived about 10 minutes later. By this time they had already taken several pictures with them hugging each other all over.

 

When I confronted him about her, he did say that if their friendship made me feel bad, he wouldn't hang out with her. But he defended her, saying that she was like a "guy" to him. He made a point to say, "well, I didn't see her for the entire month last month." Why would he keep track of this? Also, him and I were out of town that entire month, so of course he didn't even have a chance to meet up with her.

 

I ended up telling him that I did not want to control who his friends are. And I don't. But is this something I should be concerned about? If he feels the need to have a female friend with these conditions, should I just walk away.

 

Another thing to note is at first I was blaming her, angry that she seemed to get a kick out of flirting with my guy in front of me. But now I wonder if he is to blame. He seems to like the attention she is giving him and even promoting it! What if he secretly likes her, deep down inside and hasn't even admitted it to himself?