Did not expect it!

[living ina crapworld]

I need to get some things of my chest.

I have been with my boyfriend now for over a year i am a christian and when i met him he wasn't i made myself perfectly clear to him that i wanted a christian man. he continued to persue me and started to come along to church which was great he really enjoyed it and told me he wanted to be with me and give us a try. by this time i really liked him i had dated alot of guys and never met one i liked and got on with so well.

Not long after we had been together i found out he was viewing porn on him laptop much to my supprise. it was just one of those things i hadn't thought about he was doing so didn't expect it. i explained how wrong i thought it was and that he had chosen me when he could have been with someone else who thought it was alright but i had no tolerence for crap like that. honestly it can not be that hard to keep your penis in your pants for a while right? anyway after this he promised it wouldn't happen again but my trust was gone and i became obsessed with knowing the truth all the time and constintly checking all he did. later on in the year his ex girlfriend was the next problem she wanted him back and kept calling him he told me also inthe begining of our relationship that they were no longer speaking much to my dismay 10 months into our relaionship a simple slip up of him not deleting her call properly on him mobile found me finding out that not only had he talked to her that day but after checking his phone bills for her number he had called her many times over the whole period we were seeing each other. only for him to explain to me that there was nothing going on that she would only call to ask him about a problem she was having with her car or that she would call crying for him to take her back and she would make him feel that i was controling him stopping him from contact with his friends! yeah right. men are so weak!!! so after all that again i explained to him that he knew from the beginning what i wanted and didn't have to be with me go be with some one who didn't care about those things good but thats not what i wanted but he still begged me to stay he wanted to change and be better. so being the stupid emotional woman that most woman are i stayed. to come to my next issue. i always prayed to god that if he was doing something wrong again that god would give me a knowing inside that something was going on. so the other night he went home and i got that feeling like never before so i went to him house cos its only down the road and spyed on him at first he was just watching tv and i thought to my self i was being an idiot and should go home cos i had never done that sort of thing before anyway i stayed only to see him go in his room look up dirty movies and start to you no!!! so as soon as i got as much proof as i needed i called him from outside his window saying "what you doing?" he says "nothing just checking my email" which he was just inbetween waiting for the videos to load! yuck!!! i said " im coming over ill be there in a sec" still watching him in him room deleating all the history so i wouldn't find out ha. what goes around comes around i tell you that much!! anyway i asked him to for once be honest with me and tell me what he was doing he got mad and said how dare i come over and accuse him of this stuff i said "i saw what you did tell me the truth" still didn't admit it untill i told him i was outside watching how enbarrasing ha. he recons because we had been fighting alot that he didn't care about not doing it anymore didn't care what i wanted and told me it had only been happening for a week and a half 3 times if thats true i tell ya gods quick at telling me things hey. after that how do you trust again? i love him like i never thought i could love and thought i would never have to go through the dating scen again. what to do. opinions would be great. and sorry it was a long story.

[Cobra_X30]

Oh man! Look, you need to let this guy go. He will be happier without you, and you will be happier without him.

 

I mean C'mon he likes his porn... live with it or leave him. It's that simple... because he wont leave you!

 

BTW... You shouldnt try to control poeple... They are either naturally the way you want them, or they are not.

[whichwayisup]

He is hiding it because he knows how much you hate it. It's kind of like a parent/child relationship, the more you tell him NO, the more he'll think YES and do it anyway.

 

Another thing, you two don't share the same religion and obviously that is important to you. Later on, if you two marry and have kids, that will be a big issue.

[Capricorn]

You deserve better, hopefully you can find an honest decent man. Unfortunatly it seems most if not all men are into porn! I'm a religious person too and it is very hard to find men that share the morals we have!

[IrishCarBomb]

Sex is icky and gross. It's best to avoid boys. God told me so.

[annieo]

You deserve better, hopefully you can find an honest decent man. Unfortunatly it seems most if not all men are into porn! I'm a religious person too and it is very hard to find men that share the morals we have!

It seems to me that some of the biggest cheaters/liars/freaks/"deviants" and hypocrites are highly moral "Christians" from the good, 'ole US of A. Frequently ministers and politicians, people who we are supposed to look up to. The term Christian does not automatically mean decent. There are alot of honest, caring, straightforward athiests/jews/muslims/wiccans/agnostics etc. out there, ya know.

Plus, porn, IMO, is not cheating, no more than the random dirty thoughts that pass through most people's minds (if they are sexually alive). What's next? The fantasy police? Jeez! Stop playing private investigator on the man you claim to love. Give him some air.

[zilverenvlinder]

I would call up my exes too, if I was dating a prude who cries over porn.

 

Maybe if you cling on to your boyfriend tight enough, you can show him the Light and save him from his Firey Grave!

[jj2007]

You told him what you expected and he obviously can't live up to it.

You are setting yourself up for more hurt if you stay with him.

Good luck finding a guy that doesn't like porn. I guess there are some out there. Lighten up or move on.

 

just my 2 cents

[MystifiedByMen]

I don't see what the big deal is with porn. It can actually really help a relationship grow in terms of sex if a couple hits a dead end or boring time in their sex life.

 

Also, my friend and I would actually go to strip clubs with our boyfriends to play pool. Guys just like to LOOK at beautiful woman and they are going to do it if they are in a relationship or not. Woman do the same thing. I know I do all the time. Does not mean I'll cheat. I don't know, I see things way different than some girls. I guess I'm a bit more laidback when it comes to that stuff.