All those in No Contact, how long so far?

[LoveDeluxe78]

Hi LD,

I have gone NC with a close friend in the past, for the same reason, no need to hear about the ex, so i cut him off too.

 

Scorp

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel I have to do so, but I feel guilty that I have to go NC with a close friend, but right now, my well being is the most important thing, so I'm sure he would understand!

 

How did you break this to the close friend that you would need to go NC with them too?

[matwithonet]

I dont know your whole story, but what if she does care?

 

I just don't know how to tell if she REALLY does or not, so I'm staying safe and just not talking to her. If you have any suggestions, please go ahead.

[Bosiell]

I broke nc last nite after a week. The break up only just 2 weeks ago so emotions still very shot and heart still recovering. I sent a text with the chorus for James Morrisons Wonderfull World to her, then another apologising but saying how much I

missed her and that was really drunk, thing is I wasnt though. So far she has not replied, which I am quite glad, she would only be telling me to stop being so stupid and there is no chance of getting back together, or she was seeing someone else. I just wanted her to know what I still care for her so much, though I know she knows that already. God I would have given my world.

 

My head tells me that the chances of her coming back to me are slim but my heart just cant let go. Maybe memories are still to fresh for me to try and look forward, though I look back at how I was this time last week and I know I have made progress. Ups and downs, downs being the mornings, so hard to handle. I now need to take her off that pedestal and stop thinking she was the only girl for me.

 

Well I know that its a wonderfull world but I cant feel it right now!

[Teacher's Pet]

Oh well, how are you coping?

 

455 days of NC.

 

How do I do it?

 

1. Good friends

2. Working hard

3. Working out

4. Family Guy

5. NY Yankees

6. Metallica

7. Good friends (can't stress this enough)

8. The satisfaction that she's someone else's problem now.

 

-tp

464 days celibate, as well

[birdie]

For me, it's now 8 weeks since our breakup, going on 5 weeks NC.

It's been a rollercoaster that will hopefully come to an end soon.

One day is good, two days bad, two days good, but i hate the weekends!

 

Oh well, how are you coping?

 

Scorp

 

never managed more than about 3 weeks I don't think before one of my exes or I would break NC. usually lose contact slowly rather than just shutting the other person out. find it much easier that way

[Scorpio13c]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel I have to do so, but I feel guilty that I have to go NC with a close friend, but right now, my well being is the most important thing, so I'm sure he would understand!

 

How did you break this to the close friend that you would need to go NC with them too?

 

I just cut contact, much more to the storey, I felt betrayed by my friend, so it wasn't difficult for me.

[ijustwannago]

in the light of this morning i do not feel strong enough to be mad not strong enough for weights or to leave my house. i'm tired along and quite sad. It seems to me that NC is all that I have. i hope you are better today.

[Capricciosa]

455 days of NC.

 

H

8. The satisfaction that she's someone else's problem now.

 

 

Oh yes, I hear you. I really do.

[Bosiell]

455 days of NC.

 

How do I do it?

 

 

8. The satisfaction that she's someone else's problem now.

 

/quote]

 

 

Priceless

[analyseThis]

455 days of NC.

 

How do I do it?

 

1. Good friends

2. Working hard

3. Working out

4. Family Guy

5. NY Yankees

6. Metallica

7. Good friends (can't stress this enough)

8. The satisfaction that she's someone else's problem now.

 

 

some sound advice here

[DH27]

I was NC for 3 weeks, and it was broken by her, asking if I wanted to work out at a place on campus. I think it sortof worked, and NC actually made it easier because I was able to go through days without thinking about her, but once we started hanging out together I fell back into the pit of despair about the whole thing all over again. NC is SO hard...I hate it! But then again it helped me cope with what was happening. Breaking is so hard, especially when you can't let go...

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

I'm trying not to keep track of my NC days now. It just reminds me too much of him.

[Jmina]

1 and a half months

 

how do i do it?

 

knowing that if i contacted her, i would be loosing any chance of gaining friendship back.

 

what makes it easier?

 

*finding happiness for myself in doing things that are fun

having fun is a big part of my healing because a huge part of me and my ex was that we were ALWAYS having fun. always enjoying ourselves. so when she was gone, everything was boring i was having no fun with anyone or anything, but eventually i remembered what i enjoyed before i was with her and found it again. it works.

*going out with friends

*my hobbies -dance

*crying when i need to

*JOURNALING, WRITING EVERYTHING DOWN

*reading inspiring books that help me get back on track with me - big one.

*LS

*concentrating on work

[XxBacktoBlackXx]

knowing that if i contacted her, i would be loosing any chance of gaining friendship back.

 

What do you mean by that? I'm not saying that's wrong; I just don't understand.

[Jmina]

Hey thats cool.

 

well she was the one to break us up.

shes not sure about being friends yet. its too hard.

 

if i want to be friends with her, in the end it doesnt matter. she has to be the one to come to me first, then i know 100 percent it was her wanting this and not just being guilted into something.

 

also if she isnt ready for any contact at all and i make contact then well its pushing her away.

 

i know right now that im not ready for any contact, good or bad. and if she contacted me it would be really hard and i would ahve to push her away for my own sake.

 

so basically i wont contact her because it could affect her healing, it would definately affect mine, and also it might jepordise the chance of a friendship down the track if i push things.

 

if she misses me enough she will contact me.

if she doesnt miss me she wont. and i dont want to be friends with someone who doesnt even think about me. so i wont start it.

[marty]

2 months for me. still finding it tough.

 

thank god i threw everything out very soon after the break up, i havent even one thing left to remind me of her. the only torture still????,,,,,,,,,i have had her number memorised for about a year. so so wish i hadnt bothered lol.

 

still want to break nc now and then,, but its getting easier. just have to think of the pay off vs the trade off.

 

i just remember the pain it caused in the past. why let her hurt you more than she has already?? makes no sense.

 

yeah! like the heart knows about sense lol.

[oppath]

What do you mean by that? I'm not saying that's wrong; I just don't understand.

 

I think he means that in order to be friends, feelings of anger and feelings of attraction need to be gone. If you talk to them too much too soon, it creates pain and eventually drama. For a friendship to work, you need a couple months without contact, even if it was an amicable breakup and both people realize "we are not right for each other."

[angie16]

day 3 of NC, been broken up a month exactly.

we met up twice (for him to give me my mail) and we were civil and calm and had a nice time. its only when i get angry and text or call that we have arguments. and you are all right; its hurting not helping the situation.

 

The weekends are the worst for me. All that time. We always did fun things on the weekends.

[Capricciosa]

There's a book called Don't Call That Man by Rhonda Findling. It's like a step by step guide to no contact, and works for both genders. It really helped me in the beginning of my NC. It basically lays out all you will lose by contacting when you are in a healing process and gives all sorts of exercises and suggestions. I really recommend it.

[AriaIncognito]

I read that book too, a while back and liked it. I also read "Exorcise your ex" and "i used to miss my ex, but my aim is getting better" or something like that lol.

 

I was all about the self help last year....if only I could find a new guy to get over hehe

[farfrmnormal]

There have been some ups and downs with my NC - Its been almost 3 weeks since we broke up and this is the 2nd day with full NC - of course there were two days of NC the first week and 4 days of NC last week. The hard part about my situation is he has told me he wants to be able to be in a relationship with me, but right now he has some issues to resolve/get passed before we can be together. He says he needs some time to see if he can get passed some frustrations surrounding the relationship. OK - sure.... I am going to give myself a month to fully understand the situation (If he has not called me before then - he said he would call and I believe he will) I am not ready to move on yet, but I do know that I might have to. I am still going through a healing process, and I fully understand it might not work - but does anyone understand my reasoning for giving myself that month to grieve? I am not moping or sitting around in that month, I am doing something about it. (I sought counseling for issues that caused this breakup and she has been teaching me coping mechanisms as well)

[Scorpio13c]

9 weeks since original breakup & last verbal contact, 5 weeks since last e-mail contact from her.

Today's been a good day, congradualtions to everyone else holding up!

 

Scorp

[Biker2007]

Scorpio,

 

I also made 5 weeks NC this week. It was not easy, but I admit going on a few dates has helped put the ex a little further in the background. I must admit that I am not ready to date anybody seriously at the moment, so I am keeping the dating very low key for the moment.

 

Keep up the good work.

[sedgwick]

Exactly one month today. We've talked twice since he broke up with me (July 16), and both times I was crying when I got off the phone. I miss him every second of every day, but every day of NC makes me feel stronger and one step closer to having my self-confidence back. I blocked his number and his email addresses, and it has helped tremendously. Even if he is trying to contact me, he won't get through. I want to hear from him and I have fantasies of his coming back to me, but I don't want to be even more bummed knowing for sure he's not trying. This makes me feel like I have at least a little bit of control over the situation. On Monday I'm going to Mexico for 5 weeks, and I won't have phone or internet access while I'm there. He's a touring musician, and he'll be home for the last two weeks I'm there, and I want to make sure I DO NOT contact him. If it takes running off to a foreign country and isolating myself from technology, so be it. I feel a lot stronger today than I did one month ago, that's for sure.

[niceguy27]

I am on 5 days NC. Ha ha. Been a little over a month since the break up but I can count on one hand how many times weve talked since then. Wrapping up loose ends and stuff like that. A few txt's here and there and I have only seen her maybe 4 times since the break up. This week I am starting NC completely. I'm not initiating ANYTHING at all. It's all up to her to initiate. I'm not giving up but I plan on doing this for 1 month straight then see what happens.