Just got left-Don't know why

[bloodaye]

hope ur ok bro,im having an off day myself,just feeling like a bag of crap

[Curious139]

I can almost taste the agony you two guys are going through and I really feel for you both. My own loss was more subtle but just as painful. I couldn't eat for a week, couldn't be left on my own, couldn't sleep, I was shaking with shock for days................it was agony. It took about a month to get through that with the help of counselling, anti-depresant medication, and strong support from two people.

 

So it doesn't go away overnight but if your feelings were true than you wouldn't expect to shrug off such a devastating loss. Allow yourselves to grieve.

 

Yes, hate and anger are part of the process. Take it out in a sport or punching bag, whatever you need to do. I went out and thrashed my lawn with a piece of garden hose - 125 lashes at a time.

 

But you must keep your dignity and self-respect. Don't lose your cool with your ex, don't beg her, don't plead. She'll respect you more if you keep calm. That doesn't mean you can't be sad and let her know, you are entitled to your emotions.

 

I know what you mean about losing the cat - could you ask her if you can keep him?

 

Thinking of you guys.

[bloodaye]

i dont know,if i show my emotions,and lets say text her and tell her how i miss her,how do i know she isnt getting these texts while she is with some other guy and they laugh at it together and mock me? Im so tempted to text her cause i feel so guilty and miss her like u wuldnt believe,but im scared to do that,mainly cause of the above reason or she will text me back and tell me to piss off,i dunno whats worse keeping ur feelings to urself or letting them know and getting kicked in the balls

[alwayshurt]

hey, c'mon guys. you're not helping yourself like this. So what if the bitch dumped you? we are too good for that, for them to become doormats and to destroy our lives. keep in mind that it is all in your heads and the feeling of being dumped makes it worse. Acting like this makes them stronger. Let's take out our balls and show the great men they lost. Begging does not help. Showing weakness either. I begged my ex girlfriend for almost 6 months and what it did was pushing her further away. Stop it now. Go and do your things and soon you will look back and laugh at this. Remember you have dignity and integrity. Show it...NOW!

Be strong man...life is too short to be wasted becuase of stupid bitches.

[troutandme]

hey, c'mon guys. you're not helping yourself like this. So what if the bitch dumped you? we are too good for that, for them to become doormats and to destroy our lives. keep in mind that it is all in your heads and the feeling of being dumped makes it worse. Acting like this makes them stronger. Let's take out our balls and show the great men they lost. Begging does not help. Showing weakness either. I begged my ex girlfriend for almost 6 months and what it did was pushing her further away. Stop it now. Go and do your things and soon you will look back and laugh at this. Remember you have dignity and integrity. Show it...NOW!

Be strong man...life is too short to be wasted becuase of stupid bitches.

 

No. I wont beg for her back. I am not going to ask for anything. This is just therapeutic for me. I want to come back here 2 months from now and be able to laugh, and be able to try to help other people who are going through this, because its the worst feeling in the world. She is dead to me. It was like a quick amputation by a clumsy surgeon with a rusty saw.

I have to do it this way because if I dont, this anger will turn to bitterness, and I have promised myself not to become bitter.

I will get better and I will be able to kick ass in a few months. I will be ready someday to give myself to a women who appreciates being treated well. I am not going to turn into a jerk because of this woman.

[troutandme]

i dont know,if i show my emotions,and lets say text her and tell her how i miss her,how do i know she isnt getting these texts while she is with some other guy and they laugh at it together and mock me? Im so tempted to text her cause i feel so guilty and miss her like u wuldnt believe,but im scared to do that,mainly cause of the above reason or she will text me back and tell me to piss off,i dunno whats worse keeping ur feelings to urself or letting them know and getting kicked in the balls

 

I cant tell you what to do, but I think if she loves you she will text you. If she hasnt by now I wouldnt do it. She hasnt contacted me, and she must know the pain I am in, and because I told her just before she left I never want to see her face or hear her voice again.

If she is with someone else dont contact her bro. Dont tell her you miss her, she knows, dont let her feed on you. Just leave it and start healing yourself. If you need to express your feelings express them here. Screw anyone that doesnt like it.

[troutandme]

I can almost taste the agony you two guys are going through and I really feel for you both. My own loss was more subtle but just as painful. I couldn't eat for a week, couldn't be left on my own, couldn't sleep, I was shaking with shock for days................it was agony. It took about a month to get through that with the help of counselling, anti-depresant medication, and strong support from two people.

 

So it doesn't go away overnight but if your feelings were true than you wouldn't expect to shrug off such a devastating loss. Allow yourselves to grieve.

 

Yes, hate and anger are part of the process. Take it out in a sport or punching bag, whatever you need to do. I went out and thrashed my lawn with a piece of garden hose - 125 lashes at a time.

 

But you must keep your dignity and self-respect. Don't lose your cool with your ex, don't beg her, don't plead. She'll respect you more if you keep calm. That doesn't mean you can't be sad and let her know, you are entitled to your emotions.

 

I know what you mean about losing the cat - could you ask her if you can keep him?

 

Thinking of you guys.

 

The cat was her birthday gift. So it is hers. It misses her. I will miss it, but its best if she takes it.

No contact so far, and I intend to keep it that way. By Wednesday if I havent heard from her I will send her an email and ask her to get her stuff. Worried about the rent too. 3 months left on the lease.

At least I am starting to think in utilitarian terms. About realistic ****. Steps. Tomorrow I get myself cleaned up a bit-shave, get a haircut maybe, do some laundry and some housecleaning. Concentrate on living a bit. Now the future is wide open, its the only way I can look at it.

Maybe it was meant to be.

[bloodaye]

hey bro,i already asked this question in another thread,i got some great feedback from some great people,but i want your opinion cause our situation is similar.i already mentioned how my girl moved out.In the beginning i was calling her way to much and texting her,i know i went overboard,just culdnt help it.She got pissed off and told me to stop,which i did.I sucked it up and did the NC thing for about 4 days straight.Now here is my confusion.

After not contacting her for those 4 days,she out of the blue decides to text me "luv u" exactly that spelling and worded exactly the same.What is bugging me is the way she said it and she did this at 3am,which leads me to believe she was piss loaded when she did it.My confusion lies in her sincerity,did she only do this cause i was sticking to the NC rule and it was bugging her that i wasnt texting her anymore? Or did she really mean it? I want to respond,but im afraid if i do she will ignore me again on the basis that she didnt really mean to say it,or she just wants to get some gratification by my response.Im so confused i want to say " i love u" back,but something is telling me not to.

Give me ur honest opinion,if ur girl texted that to u the same way,what wuld u do?

[troutandme]

hey bro,i already asked this question in another thread,i got some great feedback from some great people,but i want your opinion cause our situation is similar.i already mentioned how my girl moved out.In the beginning i was calling her way to much and texting her,i know i went overboard,just culdnt help it.She got pissed off and told me to stop,which i did.I sucked it up and did the NC thing for about 4 days straight.Now here is my confusion.

After not contacting her for those 4 days,she out of the blue decides to text me "luv u" exactly that spelling and worded exactly the same.What is bugging me is the way she said it and she did this at 3am,which leads me to believe she was piss loaded when she did it.My confusion lies in her sincerity,did she only do this cause i was sticking to the NC rule and it was bugging her that i wasnt texting her anymore? Or did she really mean it? I want to respond,but im afraid if i do she will ignore me again on the basis that she didnt really mean to say it,or she just wants to get some gratification by my response.Im so confused i want to say " i love u" back,but something is telling me not to.

Give me ur honest opinion,if ur girl texted that to u the same way,what wuld u do?

 

Sounds like she is playing headgames. If she can only tell you when shes loaded thats no basis for the kind of relationship you deserve.

[troutandme]

This morning I dont feel good. There is a heaviness that nothing can cure. I tried playing some computer games and watching some movies but everything just feels empty and pointless. No contact from her yet, no emails, no phonecalls-part of me wants contact to atleast start to get closure, part of me cannot handle even hearing her voice.

I am going to the doctor this morning to get a note, this should be fun. Not really sure I want to go outside and be around people-see people happy, see couples holding hands.

I just want to get away from everything, run to a mountain and live in cave for a couple weeks.

[Diplok]

Do not call her about "her stuff." She will see it as an attempt from you to contact her. Put all her things in boxes and dump it in a closet if you so wish, but do not contact her. She was the one to leave, she should be the one to initiate contact with you. About the rent, well, you are going to have to cover all your expenses, even if it means an extra job, overtime or just simply putting yourself on a strict budget, but do not contact her no matter what happens.

 

Trust me, I have been through this also.

[troutandme]

Do not call her about "her stuff." She will see it as an attempt from you to contact her. Put all her things in boxes and dump it in a closet if you so wish, but do not contact her. She was the one to leave, she should be the one to initiate contact with you. About the rent, well, you are going to have to cover all your expenses, even if it means an extra job, overtime or just simply putting yourself on a strict budget, but do not contact her no matter what happens.

 

Trust me, I have been through this also.

 

Its pretty messed up that she gets to leave, and leave me with all the responsibilities and bills. Pretty messed up indeed.

She gets the easy way out, I have to deal with my emotions and the heartbreak and worry more now about money.

I am so angry.

[Diplok]

It is messed up but in times like this, is when you realize what you are made of. You seem very determined to maintain NC and I applaud you for it. You will see yourself through this and you'll come out a better person.

 

I know how angry you must be. I have felt that anger. You want to seek responses from her to put an explanation to all this but believe me when I tell you that nothing she says will make you feel any better, it will confuse you more.

 

Time is your best friend. You will heal sooner or later. How soon you do it is up to you. Do activities to help you let go of the anger. I too am very angry at the way my ex treated me towards the end. I recently took up jogging and it has been a tremendous healer. When I wake up in the morning sad about not having her in my life anymore. I go out and jog my way through the park and by the time I get home I feel like a new person.

 

It has been close to 2 months for me since I allowed my ex to humiliate me and treat me like trash. It has been hard to let go but gradually I find myself feeling attracted to other women, flirting, and just feeling good in general.

[troutandme]

It is messed up but in times like this, is when you realize what you are made of. You seem very determined to maintain NC and I applaud you for it. You will see yourself through this and you'll come out a better person.

 

I know how angry you must be. I have felt that anger. You want to seek responses from her to put an explanation to all this but believe me when I tell you that nothing she says will make you feel any better, it will confuse you more.

 

Time is your best friend. You will heal sooner or later. How soon you do it is up to you. Do activities to help you let go of the anger. I too am very angry at the way my ex treated me towards the end. I recently took up jogging and it has been a tremendous healer. When I wake up in the morning sad about not having her in my life anymore. I go out and jog my way through the park and by the time I get home I feel like a new person.

 

It has been close to 2 months for me since I allowed my ex to humiliate me and treat me like trash. It has been hard to let go but gradually I find myself feeling attracted to other women, flirting, and just feeling good in general.

 

 

Thanks bro. I am just having a bad day today. You should see my place, all the pictures are down and turned over, everything is a mess and the cat is acting very very weird. She just left everything. Something tells me she is already shacked up with somebody, probably a dude who will treat her like crap.

I know I have a bad attitude today. I am very upset. My life has been turned upside down. All my dreams are broken.

[bloodaye]

how u doin bro? Just checkin in,u ok?

[bloodaye]

Btw bro,if u want my humble opinion,i dont think all is lost,i have a sneaking suspicion she just wants to c how much u care aout her being gone,dont grovel,but if i were u i wuld at least let her know that u r around and miss her,i think u still have a chance,just a feeling i have.I know how this **** goes its immature buts its a game,she need s to know that u miss her and that u care that shes gone,ull get her back ill bet my left nut on that. ciao man

[troutandme]

Btw bro,if u want my humble opinion,i dont think all is lost,i have a sneaking suspicion she just wants to c how much u care aout her being gone,dont grovel,but if i were u i wuld at least let her know that u r around and miss her,i think u still have a chance,just a feeling i have.I know how this **** goes its immature buts its a game,she need s to know that u miss her and that u care that shes gone,ull get her back ill bet my left nut on that. ciao man

 

you could be right, but the way i feel now i dont know if things could ever be the same. even if she did come back, i would always have the nagging feeling she would want to leave again. i have been on msn and available to speak to, no phone calls, no emails. i just dont know. i do still care about her but everyday that goes by my heart gets harder.

i need security and a feeling of contentment. she took that away from me at a time when i needed her most, both as a girlfriend and just a friend. she always told me we were best friends, and i believed it. a friend does not do this to another friend. im not sure i can ever forgive her, but i am not out for revenge or hatred. this has been the worst week of my 32 years of life.

 

i hope things are okay for you. i know you are going through a difficult time too. all i can is stay strong. someday you will be healed and find a woman who truly cares about you, if you keep yourself open. we just both need time to heal.

this board is very good for healing and knowing that others feel the same pain, and helping eachother through that pain. stay in touch bro.

[troutandme]

This is kind of off topic but whatever happened to bedside manner from doctors?

I went to a walk in clinic today, hoping to atleast get a referral or maybe some anti anxiety medication or some kind of advice, but the walk in clinic doctor had ZERO people skills, and I ended up just asking for a doctors note for work absenteeism, due to the bad cold I have had too since Sunday.

She actually said to me "what do you want"? Right away I knew I couldnt discuss my emotional or psychological issues with her, so I just told her about the bad cold and she says "20 dollars for a note".

Alot of doctors, atleast here in Toronto, that I have met, just seem to be in it for the money. Which is fine, but if they are billing OHIP a minimum of 200 bucks to see me for 15 minutes the least they could do is be polite and have a minimal bedside manner.

Jesus.

[bloodaye]

hate to break it to you,but they dont care,its unfortunate but they dont,they want u in and out as soon as possible,and yes they r in it for the money,thats why they become doctors.How many times to people get prescribed the wrong medication cause doctors dont listen?I hate my doctor,every time i go him i feel silly even mentioning anything.What area of toronto r u in? I dont want ur exact adress,just general area,im curious.Im right downtown,5 mins from the eaton centre. Take care bro

[troutandme]

hate to break it to you,but they dont care,its unfortunate but they dont,they want u in and out as soon as possible,and yes they r in it for the money,thats why they become doctors.How many times to people get prescribed the wrong medication cause doctors dont listen?I hate my doctor,every time i go him i feel silly even mentioning anything.What area of toronto r u in? I dont want ur exact adress,just general area,im curious.Im right downtown,5 mins from the eaton centre. Take care bro

 

The Junction-High Park. Bloor and Dundas.

[Curious139]

This is kind of off topic but whatever happened to bedside manner from doctors?

I went to a walk in clinic today, hoping to atleast get a referral or maybe some anti anxiety medication or some kind of advice, but the walk in clinic doctor had ZERO people skills......

 

A lot of doctors, at least here in Toronto, that I have met, just seem to be in it for the money......

 

Sorry you got treated that way. I'm reading a book about Emotional Intelligence which makes the point that normal IQ is quite unrelated to the amount of empathy a person has. So clever people enter careers without any ability to relate to other people and that's how we get this type of doctor.

 

However in fairness doctors in my experience are overworked with high responsibility and lots of stress. They don't nescessarily enter medicine for the money, it is intellectually challenging, high status, rewarding, and transferable anywhere. However in countries where they can be sued it is also a very expensive and risky profession.

[bloodaye]

wow i lived around there almost all my life,and my exes mom lives at keele and dundas,i use to live on pacific,and parkside drive,thats wired man,u must go to the walk in at the crossways.