Lunar Sonata Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 :bunny:Hi Forum, A little about me: I'm a 24yo guy who has had more than his fair share of life crap to deal with in the past. Only a couple years ago did I realize that it doesn't matter what problems life may throw at me and that life is not fair. I deserve so much more than to hold myself back by feeling sorry for myself or blaming others for the problems I face (whether or not that blame is founded or unfounded). So after exhausting every option that leads to failure, I decided to just set big goals for myself and do my best for that outcome, whether I meet them or not (because I learned early that life is very unpredictable). Since I was a kid, I've learned to adopt a solitary mindset where I don't need anybody. Still, I feel this mentality is hindering a part of me somewhat. While not a requirement in my life, I wouldn't mind having a woman I can comfort and be with when she needs me. So my question is: I'm really happy with my presently successful and ongoing quest of self-improvement. Where are good places to hang out and meet a girl or woman who feels the same way? I want to be with a girl to confide in me and I to her. They don't have to be perfect and have no problems. I just want to meet somebody who has a good attitude despite of the challenges she faces. Together, we can take on life a little easier. Someone strong enough to survive without a man yet vulnerable enough to let her feelings out. Is this possible? Maybe I'm asking too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lunar Sonata Posted September 23, 2007 Author Share Posted September 23, 2007 Sorry I should probably mention suggestions in real life. I don't like doing online dating and impersonal, misleading things like internet chat, myspace, facebook, or other e-dating. Ironic considering I'm an IT guy Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 Putting my mind to it, I think specialist stores are probably a good hunting ground. For instance, your username suggests an interest in music...so you could go to a store selling musical instruments, test drive a couple of pianos, get talking to the assistants - and, in the process, any appealing female customers who also happen to be there. Because of the specialist nature of the store, you've got a ready-made "thing in common" to chat about. I know guys worry about striking up conversations with strange women in daytime situations making them look a bit stalkerish, but it's only stalkerish if you persevere in the face of disinterest. Worth a try? In a shop selling something like sporting goods, even better. Small talk could lead to setting up a game of whatever sport you're interested in. You're skipping past the artificial, pumped up hell of a nightclub setting and getting straight to the real life things that you're actually interested in. There's also not the same drunk "this is really all just about sex" flavour that comes over when people are chatting in bars or nightclubs. Link to post Share on other sites
Geoffrey Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 I feel very much the same way, and I am a sane, happy person. I'll be 43 in November and I've been totally working on my career (I'm a professional writer - have been for 21 years) ever since I moved to FL and started my life over late last year. I live in a beautiful place that is only a mile and a half from the ocean - my bedroom overlooks a lovely tropical garden. I've taken up salt water fishing and have rediscovered passions and interests that have long been asleep through the last five very turbulent, unstable, and dysfunctional years of my life. The time I've been by myself (no relationships - haven't wanted any - still not sure if I do) has been put to very good use - I've quit smoking, quit drinking, started exercising, improved my appearance, and generally gotten myself into the best health I've had in years (although losing the last of that "quit smoking" weight would complete it). I also have a passion for cooking - and do it for myself everyday. I started culinary school a few years ago, but due to life changes, was unable to finish. I would LOVE to go back and get that degree....I'm a "finisher." Should I choose to get myself back in the dating pool, the bar is set VERY VERY HIGH. Don't compromise- I did a couple of times and it literally cost me everything - including a large portion of my sanity and almost all of my dignity. Yes, I certainly do miss the companionship, but I have somehow convinced myself that it is optional. That it will only bring compromise and a lowering of my own standards I have set for myself. I have VERY little tolerance for foolish drama for its own sake and I WILL NOT tolerate dysfunction - on ANY level - I could write more about what I have been through, but if you do a search on my name going back about two years, you can read it for yourself. What I went through with an alcoholic ex-GF literally makes me sick to think about now...and has turned me off to relationships entirely. People DO get well and people DO get past painful things they experience in life - heartbreak, death, many things. But it is their CHOICE to work towards wellness that gets them to that place of happiness. It's a decision. There is a little opera house here in town and I have looked into volunteering there. Since I love to work with food - we also have a couple of food banks that I'm sure need some helping hands as well. Just go with your passions, and the success will come a little later on. Best wishes - I wish I was 24 again. But the good news is that if I live to be 100....I've got 57 good years left. Link to post Share on other sites
gman0hsev Posted September 23, 2007 Share Posted September 23, 2007 Yeah i used to have that same kind of mindset. The idea that I could do it all on my own and didn't need anyone else. However instead of getting a gf I just became amazing friends with people(in some ways friends can be as good as a gf IMO).Yeah bars/clubs are not really good places to meet ppl..... So stick to those music stores, facebook and myspace are not really places you get dates IMO, and e-dating sites are honestly a good way to meet people with the same interests..... Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine824 Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 I just wanted to respond to this thread because so many threads are people being extremely negative and I don't see how that helps? Yes, there are other sane, happy men & women who are just looking for enjoyable experiences with other people. I agree with what lindya said about hitting up places that you would be interested in going to anyway. That way if you run into someone you 1)already know you share a common interest -and- 2)should have an easy time starting a conversation. At the risk of getting shot down and never having a thread of mine responded to again: I think the main problem a lot of people on here have is their own attitude! If you're already a know it all, perfect, and every suggestion is wrong then you're probably loads of fun in real life and that may be why the men/women aren't beating down your door to get to you. Lunar Sonata, your positive attitude will probably go a looooooong way to attracting someone else equally as positive! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
pinochleprincess Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Sane people!? Ha! You might as well be looking for a unicorn...oddly enough I don't think unicorns are into myspace either Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lunar Sonata Posted October 7, 2007 Author Share Posted October 7, 2007 Thanks for the advice, all! Guess it's just a waiting game from here, being so busy with work and school. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Sorry I should probably mention suggestions in real life. I don't like doing online dating and impersonal, misleading things like internet chat, myspace, facebook, or other e-dating. Ironic considering I'm an IT guy Just get on the internet and search for local events that interest you. Art shows, concerts, what floats your boat? Group bicycle rides, hikes, go climbing... Craigslist has a section called "activity partners" that might work out? What do you like to do? What interests you that might have a lot of women there? I go salsa dancing once a week. It's great fun and there's tons of girlies. Maybe swing dancing? Stay away from bars tho... Link to post Share on other sites
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