Dark Days Ahead

[johan]

I can feel them coming. Days of torment, anxiety and isolation.

 

Sometimes I think I would be much more able to relax if I were able to see my future. But maybe I'd rather not.

[analyseThis]

I can feel them coming. Days of torment, anxiety and isolation.

 

Sometimes I think I would be much more able to relax if I were able to see my future. But maybe I'd rather not.

 

stay strong and focused on the things around you that life has to offer; I know what you mean; I went through a bad break up and im also in the same boat. Things are going to be rough but I am going to try and stay positive, so should you.

[Donza]

I can feel them coming. Days of torment, anxiety and isolation.

 

Sometimes I think I would be much more able to relax if I were able to see my future. But maybe I'd rather not.

 

Dont worry...

 

I have had dark days since the start of July.

 

Implement NC and there should be glimmers of light..

 

Dont make the mistake i made....it nearly sent me over the edge..

[Green]

I feel the same way some times so I just go with my future is going to be great that way I can handle anything here in the present. Like if I take out a big loan I tell myself its fine future KMT will have no problems. Then when future me becomes present me I look back at the past with nostalgia woooeeeeeee

[Trialbyfire]

There's no saving you. It can only get darker and darker until it hits the pinnacle on Dec. 21/22. Time to go emo and put your face in the corner until the day after...

[melodymatters]

Hey Johan,

 

I've always empathised with you, as we often seem to be on the same page: Cool people, with depressing circumstances.

 

This friday, I actually truly and really contemplated what it would be like to not be here anymore. In the end the thought of how much it would mess up the few people I truly love, made me decide to buck up.

 

Well, actually I drank bourbon, took 2 tylenol pm and cried myself to sleep. After 14 hrs of sleep, I woke up and decided that circumstances would not break me, at least not damn yet !

 

So tomorrow I will once again face the problems facing me, and just take one baby step at a time. No worrying about the big picture.

 

Try to get through NOW, and what you can do about the here and now, and hopefully one day we'll find a crack in the wall and it will be sunshine and bunnies time

[johan]

stay strong and focused on the things around you that life has to offer; I know what you mean; I went through a bad break up and im also in the same boat. Things are going to be rough but I am going to try and stay positive, so should you.

 

A breakup didn't cause this. But I appreciate the commiseration.

 

Dont worry...

 

I have had dark days since the start of July.

 

Implement NC and there should be glimmers of light..

 

Dont make the mistake i made....it nearly sent me over the edge..

 

Ok. NC it will be. This is really not about any particular woman.

 

I feel the same way some times so I just go with my future is going to be great that way I can handle anything here in the present. Like if I take out a big loan I tell myself its fine future KMT will have no problems. Then when future me becomes present me I look back at the past with nostalgia woooeeeeeee

 

Thanks, KMT. Maybe I need to hit the gym. I need to remind myself that I can be in control of the situations I care about.

 

There's no saving you. It can only get darker and darker until it hits the pinnacle on Dec. 21/22. Time to go emo and put your face in the corner until the day after...

 

Can you please remind me what happens on 12/21?

[ijustwannago]

just wonderin of course it's a persinal question. but do you have anxiety?

[johan]

just wonderin of course it's a persinal question. but do you have anxiety?

 

I consider myself intense, if anything. Not anxious.

[underpants]

I can feel them coming. Days of torment, anxiety and isolation.

 

Sometimes I think I would be much more able to relax if I were able to see my future. But maybe I'd rather not.

 

Did you meet someone new?

 

I am not sure about what is happening with you. All I can say is ...Welcome to the dark side...we have cookies.

 

Chin up.

[johan]

Hey Johan,

 

I've always empathised with you, as we often seem to be on the same page: Cool people, with depressing circumstances.

 

My circumstances are internal. If you looked at my life from the outside, you'd think I wouldn't have anything to worry about. A big house, good family, too many German cars, a good job, etc.

 

This friday, I actually truly and really contemplated what it would be like to not be here anymore. In the end the thought of how much it would mess up the few people I truly love, made me decide to buck up.

 

GOOD CHOICE!! Don't let yourself think like that anymore!

 

Well, actually I drank bourbon, took 2 tylenol pm and cried myself to sleep. After 14 hrs of sleep, I woke up and decided that circumstances would not break me, at least not damn yet !

 

So tomorrow I will once again face the problems facing me, and just take one baby step at a time. No worrying about the big picture.

 

Try to get through NOW, and what you can do about the here and now, and hopefully one day we'll find a crack in the wall and it will be sunshine and bunnies time

 

I'm with you. But if I can't conquer the now, at least I have some nice people here on LS to help me avoid it. Those bunnies better get a move on though.

[MagnoliaJane]

Hey Johan,

 

Ah... the unbearable lightness of being. Life is hard and then you die.

 

Accepting just that ecstacy isn't necessarily lying in wait around the corner doesn't mean life should be all miserable though.

 

Il vaut regarder la vie en farce.

 

Somedays are so-so, some are good, and others are better.

 

And it's the same for everyone, I'm afraid.

 

Nowadays for me personally I am already content if I have been able to make it through the day without getting irritated (or if I am irritated to fend it off in a creative way so that it doesn't cloud my mood for the entire day. That's what I call a success). Too sceptical? Maybe. But it gives me some purpose and destination.

[johan]

Did you meet someone new?

 

I am not sure about what is happening with you. All I can say is ...Welcome to the dark side...we have cookies.

 

Chin up.

 

Nope. No one new. Although you remind me that meeting someone new brings its own kind of torment.

 

I wouldn't mind a cookie though. Maybe I'll make some. I should at least clean the kitchen.

[melodymatters]

Good idea on the "baby steps" scale : cleaning the house and making some cookies !

 

I was going to just put my house up for sale ( i'm a realtor, so it's easy I can do it in a day) pack up and LEAVE, but instead i tried to invest myself in my "here and now" cleaned up, made a good meal, and just those basic things helped a bit.

[lindya]

My circumstances are internal. If you looked at my life from the outside, you'd think I wouldn't have anything to worry about. A big house, good family, too many German cars, a good job, etc.

 

So if it's not circumstantial, what do you think is causing all this? Uncertainty about the meaning/purpose of life?

[johan]

So if it's not circumstantial, what do you think is causing all this? Uncertainty about the meaning/purpose of life?

 

Lack of control over things I think I should have control over. Lack of progress in some areas of my life.

[lindya]

Lack of control over things I think I should have control over. Lack of progress in some areas of my life.

 

So what would control and progress look like? Who will you be, and what will you do, once you've brought that control and progress about? No "it'll never happen". That does no good. You must have some kind of vision of how you want things to change.

[johan]

I just need to learn how to broaden my social horizons. I'm not surrounded by people who are enhancing my life. It's not easy for me to establish important relationships. I'd be better off knowing I had a few people I can count on. I'd like to have a woman in my life who I adore. I'd like to have more balance so that my performance in all aspects of life is better. Right now things are badly out of balance. And that means I'm really not pleased with how things are going even in the areas I'm able to focus on.

[melodymatters]

I just need to learn how to broaden my social horizons. I'm not surrounded by people who are enhancing my life. It's not easy for me to establish important relationships. I'd be better off knowing I had a few people I can count on. I'd like to have a woman in my life who I adore. I'd like to have more balance so that my performance in all aspects of life is better. Right now things are badly out of balance. And that means I'm really not pleased with how things are going even in the areas I'm able to focus on.

 

Well, this hits home as well. I was moving around, following the market, flipping houses, and in a game of real estate musical chairs, got stuck in this current town.

 

I also had a few back to back "nowhere" relationships, that while not breaking my heart, left me ...disallusioned.

 

So now, NO social network or true friends, a sinking career, AND the thought that I don't even WANT to start down another relationship road, which has always been an important componant in my bag of life.

 

Oh, sorry, was I supposed to be cheering you up ? You'll have to settle for a side dish of misery loves company instead

[MagnoliaJane]

Johan,

 

It's not easy to establish important relationships. Final.

 

People often come and go in someone's life.

 

But great to hear you are defining the source of your unhappiness. It will give you an opportunity to work towards happiness.

[Trialbyfire]

Dec. 21/22, is the shortest day or the beginning of the winter solstice, hence the darkest day in the year...

[johan]

Dec. 21/22, is the shortest day or the beginning of the winter solstice, hence the darkest day in the year...

 

Oh got it! I thought maybe you had set a wedding date.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I just need to learn how to broaden my social horizons. I'm not surrounded by people who are enhancing my life. It's not easy for me to establish important relationships. I'd be better off knowing I had a few people I can count on. I'd like to have a woman in my life who I adore. I'd like to have more balance so that my performance in all aspects of life is better. Right now things are badly out of balance. And that means I'm really not pleased with how things are going even in the areas I'm able to focus on.

 

Changing established patterns is not easy at all. But in order to not do what you've always done and subsequently getting what you've always got, it is important to step out of your comfort zone.

 

The mere thought of doing that causes discomfiture, I know. But it is important to step out of the shell. Go through the discomfort, go through the adjustment phase. Whatever the result, you'll be glad you at least ventured out.

 

Not sure how applicable this is to you, but for me, I've realized that it's not easy to shed my ego and toe the line of "social norms". But I am slowly recognizing that I might be badly limiting my social horizons because of my set notions. I've also realized that shedding that "one-track mind" mentality is important for me to realize the full benefit of a situation, be fully involved, and give my best.

 

Regarding other areas of your life, they more or less follow the same theory I mentioned earlier. If you want to change it, take a step out of the rut, and try and see if you can re-balance.

[Herzen]

If your malaise is endogenous, as opposed to situational, perhaps you should consult your personal physician. Johan, you're one of the very few LS guys I like, and I don't want to see you suffer needlessly. If this is a repeated phenomenon, something cyclical, get thee to a physician.

 

Just do it.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

If your malaise is endogenous, as opposed to situational, perhaps you should consult your personal physician. Johan, you're one of the very few LS guys I like, and I don't want to see you suffer needlessly. If this is a repeated phenomenon, something cyclical, get thee to a physician.

 

Just do it.

 

Actually, based on his posts, I have a feeling that it's very much situational.

 

If you want to do something, Johan, then do it. Or if you don't want to (or can't), then take steps to mitigate the dissatisfaction arising from the result. Both of which will require you to break the rut for once, although it's not easy to do.