Hello to all again Just want to ask a question and express all the sadness.

[alextop30]

My parents are never on the same position and they are always fighting they will probably get separated. In my house it is one war after the other. When I go back home I cannot even sleep - I have been woken up in the middle of the night to listen to one or the other complain how they are not treated right.

 

I am 20 years old I have no way to get out college and loans and big dreams about me.

 

I have always believe that no matter what happens in the world when I step a foot in my house I will be able to shut my eyes and relax but it became the opposite I am more relaxed outside of my so called "home".

 

I wish I knew how to fix it all but I just try not to get too deep because I will start taking sides so staying away in my room some times is not enough. I wish it could stop....

 

All I just wanted to ask is this how living with someone is - after 25 years of marriage you start to hate the person that you love the most. Is it really like that

 

I just wanted to share some of the pain really tired of holding it inside.

[Ocean-Blue]

Hey alextop:

 

I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad time at home. I am all too familiar with fighting parents. I come the kind of family that goes from one extreme (everyone sitting around laughing and being a real family) to absolutely madness (screaming, the hurling of words across the room, etc).

 

My parents don't always seem to see eye-to-eye on things...and really does take a toll on us kids, doesn't it? My brother handles this by just shutting it all out (he goes out with his friends...does his own thing). Me on the other hand, I sit there a cry (or I fight back - I yell at my dad and defend my mom or sit with my dad when he's upset).

 

My reason for telling you this is that I understand what it's like when you parents are at each other's throats. How angering it is and how sad it makes you feel (no matter how old you are). BUT, you need to realize that you are no longer a child. You have control over your life. If you parents' fighting is getting to you, do something about it.

 

I don't know where you are from... But in most North American states/provinces, there is some form of financial assistance for students who pursue some post secondary education. You need to get out of the house - and college is the best way to do it. Study something you enjoy! Go out there and make friends (I bet some will have similar experiences).

 

It's always nice to know you're not the only one.

 

Hope things get better for you (and if they don't...keep posting here and we'll work through it).

 

Take care.