shaina Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 I've never been one to do something without knowing how my parents feel about it and approving of it..but, when I met my boyfriend it just felt right. He and I have been dating for a little over a week. We live about 1.5 (or less) hours away from each other, but we've already hung out all day for 2 days. The time that we aren't together is spent either talking on the phone, or talking on the computer, basically all day. I've always thought it was taboo to tell someone you love them so soon in a relationship, but he's already told me, and I've told him. He doesn't pressure me to do or say anything I don't want to do. He treats me like a woman should be treated..(ex: he insists that he drive while we are together, because he feels its his job to do it, and he loves doing it). He's everything I've ever dreamt of in a man and I am completely and totally myself around him, and he is the same way around me. But he has brought up the subject of getting engaged to me. I absolutely love the thought of being able to look at the ring, and know that I have such a great future ahead of me with him, and knowing that he'll do anything to make me happy. He wants to take care of me, and he wants to just..not wait, because he knows I'm his for forever. But I'm worried about how I would tell my parents. I'm almost 20 years old and so is he. Like I said earlier, I've never been one to do something without seeing how my parents feel about it first. I'm graduating from college in 1 year, and he's graduating in 2 years. He's also told me that just because we would be engaged, doesn't mean we have to get married right then and there..but we can wait until whenever I'M ready. Be it 2 years from now, or more or less. I think the only thing stopping me from telling him that I'm ready is, worrying about what my parents would think. I want to talk to my mom about it first but I don't know how. Then I want to talk to my dad. (By the way, they've never met him. But I KNOW they would love him...) Any advice please? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 Engaged after a week...... you're kidding right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shaina Posted September 24, 2007 Author Share Posted September 24, 2007 No, I'm being honest.. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 My advice is to slow way down! You don't even know this guy! Take the time to get to know each other. If you feel the same way in 6 months or so, then perhaps you can talk about it. Most people wouldn't even refer to someone as their boyfriend after only a week. And most relationships that start out this quickly go up in flames just as fast. I'm not saying it will happen in your case, but who knows?! Take more time!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
xlogit3k Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 im 16 and that sounds stupid to be honest. You have dated him for liek a week and you already want to get engaged? It just doesnt sound right you should probably get to know them better Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 You've spent two days with this person. That is enough time to become infatuated with someone - certainly not enough to determine if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. If you do get engaged, and it sounds like you probably will since you are equally infatuated - make it a very, very long engagement, and make sure you live together for at least a good chunk of that. I wouldn't tell your parents. Telling them now will result in them scrambling to see that you don't make a terrible mistake. I would do the same if my daughter came home and told me she was getting engaged to someone she's only spent two days with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shaina Posted September 24, 2007 Author Share Posted September 24, 2007 I'm very excited! I talked to him again today (because we have been talkin about things a lot, and he knows I want to wait like...6 months or so before getting engaged).. But I think he's starting to see that I don't want to rush into things. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 He and I have been dating for a little over a week. We live about 1.5 (or less) hours away from each other, but we've already hung out all day for 2 days. The time that we aren't together is spent either talking on the phone, or talking on the computer, basically all day. this sounds just like my first "relationship" back in 7th grade.* word to the wise: it didn't work out. *minus the use of computers, they were still new then... Link to post Share on other sites
Micke81 Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: *alarm bells *alarm bells *alarm bells *red flags *red flags *red flags If it's meant to be, it will be there 6 months from now. Someone who wants to get engaged after a week of dating wants to be engaged, and since they like you...they think you feel great (during the infatuation period) so, you'll do. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 Wow, one week??? I agree with the other posters than you should wait. If you know you want to be together forever then you'll still feel the same way in 6 months. Your in the infatuation period, really get to know him and then see how you feel. My bf and I have been together for over a year and I am still learning new things about him, that I like and dislike. Wait till you get to know him better, than see if he is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Link to post Share on other sites
clatan Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 So you've dated a week and you're in love and need to get married? If you were 35, I might say "go for it" ... and that's a big maybe. Why do you fell you HAVE to get married now? Can't you just date at least 2 or 3 years and then get married (orwait until you're 28-35 better yet) ? Why the deadline? Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 I say you skip the engagement and elope! Tell your parents after. Nothing says "romance" better than a marraige to someone you've spent 2 whole days with. But seriously... are you out of your minds? Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 If you know that "you're going to be together forever" then forever will still be there a year from now. Seriously, what's the rush? Everything that leads up to engagement is fun! Have the dating stage, the moving in stage, it's called building memories!!! You don't want to jump right into an engagement. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and I still don't know everything there is about him. Feelings does not a successful relationship make. And common sense screams that YOU CAN NOT KNOW someone enough in two days to determine if they're "the one." When you first meet someone, you're on your best behavior.....wait awhile. Forever will always be there, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Kalamazoo Posted September 29, 2007 Share Posted September 29, 2007 Wait for the honeymoon stage to end before you get into such a huge commitment. It may feel like love, but I assure you it is not. It is your mind idealizing the situation. You need to let reality set in before you make a decision like spending the rest of your life with somebody. If you're seriously that gung ho about being together, you have the rest of your lives to do it, so why rush into something like engagement. Spend some real quality time together first. Link to post Share on other sites
amymarieca Posted September 29, 2007 Share Posted September 29, 2007 This reminds me of a guy I dated when I was younger. He told me only after a couple of days that he loved me. I didn't even know what those feelings meant buy I said it back anyway. The guy turned out to be totally possessive and controlling. Does anyone not see a problem with a guy who wants to jump in to a commitment so soon? I mean usually guys are pretty slow with the whole commitment thing. Besides that, you have only known him for a week. That means you don't really know him as a person. It would be a horrible mistake to marry someone that soon, especially given your age. I am 26 now and when I was 19 I thought a lot differently than I do now. Please don't make this mistake. I can almost guarantee that it will end in divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
ahah2322 Posted September 30, 2007 Share Posted September 30, 2007 you barely know each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! getting engaged in six months sounds absolutely inane, much less after a week! girl, pull yourself together. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I've never been one to do something without knowing how my parents feel about it and approving of it..but, when I met my boyfriend it just felt right. He and I have been dating for a little over a week. We live about 1.5 (or less) hours away from each other, but we've already hung out all day for 2 days. The time that we aren't together is spent either talking on the phone, or talking on the computer, basically all day. Hey, I say go get married!! Just do it. You love the guy and know he's the one. Trust your heart, trust your gut. You know him well enough by spending afew days with him and talking to him online so much. That's a great way of getting to know someone!!! Congrats and have a happy life! Oh, when do you two plan on having kids? I say, the sooner the better. But, make sure that you both have jobs and can buy a house too! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Okay, now for my serious post...The other one was just showing you how ridiculous it is to even consider getting married, let alone engaged to someone you DO NOT KNOW. You know nothing about him. His habits, the type of person he is - WHO he is. What he is life in his daily life. Not just how he handles the good and normal stuff that life throws our way, but the bad and awful, stressful stuff. You don't know him at all. For all you know he could be a druggie, or a dealer, a criminal, a jerk who is a player and uses women. YOU DO NOT KNOW HIM. You don't know his family, nor does he know yours. If you want to date, DO that...Get to know him, slow down and just enjoy the beginning stages of romance/love.....WHAT is the rush? Include him in your family gatherings, make him become part of your life, let your family and friends know him. Same goes for you as well. You two need to see if your lives mesh because you cannot live on JUST LOVE. You are so young and I'm telling ya, people do ALOT of changing in their 20's. What you feel right now for him could easily change in 6 months or a year...Or even 2 years from now...Last thing you need is a marriage with afew kids in tow, realizing that you can't stand your own husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shaina Posted October 8, 2007 Author Share Posted October 8, 2007 Hmm..less than a week and we will have been together for 1 month! We spent a couple days together this week that just passed. He met my family at a cook out for my little brothers birthday, and went to church with us on Sunday..My parents love him. He and I are still in love. <3 He's not mentioned getting engaged since I talked to him how ever long ago that was. It's a relief because I don't want to rush into anything. Oh, and just for the record. I KNOW that relationships like this can last. My parents met, got engaged and were married all in less then 1 year. They've now been together for 20 years. My family is the greatest! Jeremy and I are more in love than ever, and I know it isn't lust. A lot of people say you have to get to know someone before you love them like I do, but you are never going to truly completely know a person. You will learn new things about them everyday. For the rest of your lives. Also, as far as going through hard times while in the relationship goes, his mom passed away, and his dad was put in the hospital. Those two are pretty tough, and he's gotten through it, and I've helped. I just thought I'd update everyone on how he and I are doing! Link to post Share on other sites
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