shadowplay Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 My bf and I are in a LDR (4 hrs apart) and have been dating for almost three months. We see each other every week. The other night I went to a club with him and while waiting in line for the bathroom a guy shamelessly hit on me despite the fact that I told him I was involved. I mentioned it to my bf because I thought it was creepy and funny. My bf's response was that several girls at the university where he started classes a few weeks ago have hit on him. He said one of them emailed him and asked if he wanted to "hang out." He sent her an email back explaining that he had a girlfriend at home. I asked him if the girl was attractive and he said "no, not at all, but I feel bad saying that." Then he said something like "but I need friends," implying I think that he might befriend a few girls there. The whole discussion got me worried. I mean if girls are constantly throwing themselves at him, how easy will it be for him to resist, especially when I'm far away? And if he becomes friends with other girls, isn't there a strong possibility for an emotional affair? I also don't understand why he even told this to me. I mentioned the thing about the guy at the club to him because the guy was acting pretty strange and I thought he would find it funny, but why did he have to get into all this about girls hitting on him? All it could do is make me jealous and nervous, right? FWIW, things have otherwise been going really well between us. Every time I see him, I feel like we get even closer. I'm just a bit concerned about this one thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Illicit Angel Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 It might be he wanted to put that fear into you ?? He could have also felt threatened when you told him about this, and wanted you to feel what he did? Has he ever given you a reason to suspect he might look else where for something? In your post it didn't sound like it. He does need to make friends of course, as do you. I wouldn't worry about it just now. Just be aware of things he tells you about them. It dosen't mean he will or is even thinking about it. It's too soon to know something like that. Then you have the advantage of your still in the *honeymoon* phase of the relationship. It's a good sign that he told you about the email, and that he explained his already has a girlfriend, he would not have told her that if he wanted her! I think you should talk to him about your concerns. Don't let them eat at you .... because it will eat at the relationship. Be honest and open is my advice Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 I think what he is doing is healthy: he is letting you know that while the distance is tough, he discloses your existence to the people he meets and he is open about his social interactions. He was not trying to put fear into you, he was simply saying "I get hit on too, but I want you to know that when girls flirt with me, I tell them about you." Sounds like you have a good guy! Link to post Share on other sites
Illicit Angel Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 I think what he is doing is healthy: he is letting you know that while the distance is tough, he discloses your existence to the people he meets and he is open about his social interactions. He was not trying to put fear into you, he was simply saying "I get hit on too, but I want you to know that when girls flirt with me, I tell them about you." Sounds like you have a good guy! Sorry that came from experience ..... it kind of distaughts i guess:o ... but yeah i wouldn't worry. But i would talk to him keep things open. So you don't hold it and make it worse Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted September 24, 2007 Share Posted September 24, 2007 My bf and I are in a LDR (4 hrs apart) and have been dating for almost three months. We see each other every week. The other night I went to a club with him and while waiting in line for the bathroom a guy shamelessly hit on me despite the fact that I told him I was involved. I mentioned it to my bf because I thought it was creepy and funny. My bf's response was that several girls at the university where he started classes a few weeks ago have hit on him. He said one of them emailed him and asked if he wanted to "hang out." He sent her an email back explaining that he had a girlfriend at home. I asked him if the girl was attractive and he said "no, not at all, but I feel bad saying that." Then he said something like "but I need friends," implying I think that he might befriend a few girls there. You told him that other guys hit on you! He wanted you to know that other poeple hit on him too! If you are worried... don't you think he is also?? Link to post Share on other sites
Spoonandfork22 Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 a long distance relationship is a hard thing to go through. i was in one for a year and surprisingly enough i dont remember there being any trust issues (i look back and am amazed it worked out that way!) but i digress. i agree with what another poster said, you two are having open communication and that is great. in a LDR that is the most important thing. i think he was feeling a little uncomfy when you said that, because your his gf, who wouldnt? but he also let you know he alwasy tells the girls he has a gf which is GREAT! dont worry.....you have a good guy! keep the lines of communication open and things will run smoothly. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 The guy in this saga is inexperianced! I absolutley would never offer information like that. I wouldn't even answer a question on the subject if asked. No good can/could come from it. It's about the same as the age old "do these pants make me look fat", which cannot be answered satisfactorily. It is understandable though. The he wanted his gal to think he is just as attractive to the opposite sex as she is. Sadly, his off the cuff comment will cost him. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 It is understandable though. The he wanted his gal to think he is just as attractive to the opposite sex as she is. Sadly, his off the cuff comment will cost him. You mean its ok for her to tell him she is getting hit on, but not ok for him to tell her the same thing? Link to post Share on other sites
popey Posted September 25, 2007 Share Posted September 25, 2007 I agree with the posters who think that there is a healthy dose of honesty here. the ideal that we would like, (no one of the opposite sex in the world would ever interest you as friend, or as attactive otherwise would ever appeal to you) that's not real. but for something to make you think, or raise an eyebrow, fair enough. sounds to me like you and he are engaging in solid communication. Link to post Share on other sites
AngelsFan09 Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Like most of the other posters, I wouldn't worry if I were you. If he revealed the fact that he's received e-mails from girls, he appears to be a good guy. He wants to be honest with you or like others have said, "you're not the only one who is found be appealing/attractive by the opposite sex.. I can get some too" Link to post Share on other sites
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