Yer Asking the wrong question Kids

[No Foolin]

Its always easier to post when a couple of drinks are in the system........ Lets see..............oh!!!

 

It never fails to amaze me the sheer volumes of the quasi "want to move on/hoping they will make contact/pipe dream" threads that populate this board.......I guess it takes time for the obvious to sink in.

 

The main beef I have is the who/what/when/where/why/how questions that are asked regarding an ex and their behavior. I have the simple answer for you......Ready? You don't want to know and if you think and dream they are capable of wrecking you worse than you already are you're right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there you go. Your welcome:cool:

 

Now for the tough love. You're riding the horse backward; you're paying a circus monkey to change the oil in yer car with a soup ladel. YOU'RE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION!!!!!!!

 

The question you should be asking is: AM I DONE?

 

Am I done kicking myself in the nuts? Am I done giving power to the absent (I promise they're not thinking about you)? Am I done drinking myself into submission? Am I done staying up until 4:30am because my anxiety is breaking me off? Am I done telling my story to anyone who will listen? Am I done focusing on "the one" (like there is only one love/sexual/companion experience for a lifetime)? Believe me that is so laughable. Am I done not taking responsibility for my own happiness?

 

If you can't answer this question with a stiff yes than yer on the wrong board and need to shimmy to the break up board, that I believe is located not to far from this one.

 

The power of firmly deciding what you will or will not do rests with you (Not them). I mean you really can't ask someone to go to the bathroom for you.

 

 

Think think think

 

No Foolin

[Curious139]

Hmmmm.............

 

I understand what you are saying and it is good advice, no problem with that.

 

However people come to this board in confusion and vulnerability. It is about coping with loss. Admittedly some should be on the breakup board initially but it is an open community. People just need help.

 

My view is that everyone posting deserves compassion and to learn that others are experiencing the same or worse pain. A problem shared can be a problem halved and there are some really insightful people here - yourself being one of them.

 

The popularity of LS is testament to the number of hurt people who feel alone and bewildered by the loss of dreams, shared futures, deep emotional commitment. If those of us who stick around (I note most disappear) can help, that is therapeutic for everyone.

 

The other matter is that hope springs eternal in the human breast. We can't help but hope that there is some way to turn things around, grasping at straws as it may be. Sometimes it even works.

 

What would be a good idea would be a couple of sticky threads on coping with accumulated wisdom. Something for the mods.

[No Foolin]

Curious139: You get a house full of crickets for that one. We obviously havn't been introduced.

 

I don't do compassion jobs........... Thats like giving ecouragement and a kind face to someone who can't swim and has fallen into a pool.

 

I do reality jobs. I provide real world, battle tested advice to those who want to C.O.P.E.

 

Click on my name, find the threads, do the work////END TRANS

 

No Foolin

[riobikini]

No Foolin', good to see you popping back in here-I was wondering if you were dead.

 

(Smile)

 

I'm sure the re-introduction of your infamous old thread will be appreciated by the newbies (at least the ones who are smart enough to look for it) -it's probably about time.

 

Besides, just reading the first post in that old thread makes me smile.....

 

It helped me as well.

 

Belated thanks, friend.

 

 

-Rio

[Curious139]

I don't do compassion jobs........... Thats like giving encouragement and a kind face to someone who can't swim and has fallen into a pool.

 

No. More like throwing them a life preserver and reaching out a helping hand without getting too wet.

 

I do reality jobs. I provide real world, battle tested advice to those who want to C.O.P.E.

 

 

Yeah I know and it is good. A reality check is needed by all of us from time to time and I think you put express your thoughts very well.

 

Nevertheless some people - probably many - are suffering from a form of depression and "harden up" just ain't gonna do it. Anyone who is clinically depressed can't see outside their own agony and is in no state to just take a deep breath and get over it.

 

Even mild depression requires empathy from others for that person to get a grasp on reality.

 

None of which negates your views, simply that not everyone is in a place where they can see the truth of what you say. As I've said, a sticky at the top of the board would be a good idea - there you go - a mission.

[No Foolin]

riobikini: Good to hear from you again. I'm not dead, though I'm sure some of my assignments sure wish I was (that is for other stories)

 

 

Curious139: I get what yer tryin to say. Clincal Depression/mild depression: I may have more of a clinitions understanding of this than you know

 

from my travels I can tell you that understanding and relating can only go so far. Feeding the fighter will save the day. It takes toughness and single minded focus to walk this off (this is what I do).

 

I guess it comes down to what you want. Do you want a blue print or a hallmark card. Choice is yours, lord knows.

 

No Foolin

[Trialbyfire]

Haha...walk, walk, walk. Stop focusing your energies on feeling bad, start working on your internal strength. This is what will defines you. Do you have the balls to walk? Do you have the balls to piss or get off the pot? You decide.