Discovery day again

[stillafool]

Ok... anyway everyone has their own take on the situation the reality is no one knows what the man feels except for the man himself, regardless of what he dicides in the end he knows what he felt while in the A.

 

Now this is the truth!!!!!!!!!!

[Impudent Oyster]

I actually have used those words many times.. except for this MM...

 

I would worry if I HAD TO BEG for sex... if MM are begging OW - I wouldn't really care... if it was the other way around then I guess 'tramp' is called for...

 

Ah oh... I haven't had any men treated me like a 'tramp'... I'm sure a lot of OW here would agree.

 

I wasn't talking to you.

 

If a man "begs" a woman for sex, that means he's pretty sure he can get it...what kind of women do men beg? Tramps.

 

They wouldn't waste their time or humiliate themselves begging women they respect and know would probably slap them for insulting them like that.

 

It's no compliment for men to think you're easy.

[Tomcat33]

.

 

They wouldn't waste their time or humiliate themselves begging women they respect and know would probably slap them for insulting them like that.

 

.

 

Pfft! it has NOTHING to do with respect, men will pursue what they want period, regardless of how respectable the woman may be. Men are the persuors and woman are the receptors, it's the cat and mouse game that is dictated by nature, our animal instincts. Please as if men stop to think "hmmm I like what I see but she looks "respectable" I'd better not make a pass at her"

 

I look very respectable but have a lot of understated sex appeal, I have never been one to dress slutty yet I can get more attention than those women that let it all hang out if I want to , and men still make passes at me.

what a stupid thing to say that men don't beg respectanble looking women, OH YES THEY DO. I am living proof that they do.

Seduction to some men has nothing to do with having overt sexual appeal as in looking slutty, it is the understated sex appeal that drives them really crazy.

[herenow]

I don't think you want to see how they act when we cut them off... they come back begging and won't leave us alone.

 

You BS's need to keep your H's on a tighter leash.

 

Right, kind of like the way the MM begs his wife to take him back after a d-day. I would think that d-day is the perfect time for a MM to tell his wife that he loves an OW and he wants to get a divorce.

 

In my case, I offered my H an amicable divorce so that he could be with the OW. Last thing I want is a man that wants to be with someone else. He refused to go to the OW and I kicked him out anyway. He went to a hotel instead of staying with the OW despite her begging him to stay with her.

 

We both have jobs that give us equal financial independence, so there is no reason financially for him to stay. I even made an appointment with a therapist so that we could talk about the best way to deal with the kids so that they would be able to have two loving parents in their lives after we got a divorce, so no reason to stay for the kids. But, he still came begging and crying for me to take him back. Gee, I wonder why.

[LikeNoOther]

I wasn't talking to you.

 

If a man "begs" a woman for sex, that means he's pretty sure he can get it...what kind of women do men beg? Tramps.

 

They wouldn't waste their time or humiliate themselves begging women they respect and know would probably slap them for insulting them like that.

 

It's no compliment for men to think you're easy.

 

Wow - sorry for replying anyway

[LikeNoOther]

Gee, I wonder why.

 

Yeah, me too...

[herenow]

Yeah, me too...

 

I guess it's not possible that our marriage is now stronger than ever because we both decided that we love each other enough to fix the problems in our marriage and in ourselves. It can't be that he made a poor choice in finding a quick fix in an OW and now regrets that choice. It's would not be at all believable that he was lacking something in himself and his affair had nothing to do with me or the OW, and everything to do with his own insecurities.

 

There is no way that he has done everything possible to show me that he is committed to me and our marriage. Because that would mean that the OW really didn't mean anything to him and that would be a truth that no one here wants to admit. So I agree no way could any of that actually happen. It must be a fantasy.

[PoshPrincess]

I have to say, I love typo's, they're so funny! My favourite is when (I) and afew others misspell (mispell?) public and put down pubic...lol

 

That's nothing, WWIU! I typed up a letter for an old boss once and instead of starting the letter off with "I was most....." typed "I was moist", instead. Of course, my boss found it very amusing. How embarrasing!

[PoshPrincess]

 

 

That's nothing, WWIU! I typed up a letter for an old boss once and instead of starting the letter off with "I was most....." typed "I was moist", instead. Of course, my boss found it very amusing. How embarrasing!

 

Oh, and THAT's really bad grammar, using 'instead' twice in the same sentence, haha!

[TogetherForever]

 

 

That's nothing, WWIU! I typed up a letter for an old boss once and instead of starting the letter off with "I was most....." typed "I was moist", instead. Of course, my boss found it very amusing. How embarrasing!

 

 

:lmao:Now that's funny:lmao:

[whichwayisup]

"I was moist",

 

I just farted from laughing so hard! OMG! That's hilarious! Atleast your boss has a good sense of humour!

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

My secretary often writes emails to me saying "I have had a telephone massage today from Mr X" I haven't got the heart to tell her, she'd be mortified...

 

Sorry for the T/J Mino. But it appears there's been a lot of this thread falling foul to T/Js.

 

Maybe your MM is just scared of the past and scared of the future. But most of all scared of being alone. That's what my MM is most scared of. He has no guarantee our R would work out. He has no guarantees that his M will work out. So maybe the "safest bet" is apparent to him.

 

Your MM loves W and he loves you and this is why he's bouncing from one to the other - i.e. when he's "finishing" things in his marriage he starts reminiscing about how good it was once, has hope that it could be that way again. But then he returns and starts to miss you, starts to reminisce about your R and so the whole sorry story begins again.

 

But I guess, that you and W are allowing this human pinball effect by accepting his behaviour, and I guess that's why it keeps continuing.

 

In answer to the debate about refusing sex, I am now only emotional with MM at the moment as it gives clarity on our situation without allowing those physical feelings to creep in. Its hard (excuse the pun) but we both think its something that is valid and necessary at the moment. I want him to get his head sorted and sex can complicate things. This hasn't changed us. He's as attentive as ever.

 

I think its a given that MM have emotional and physical attachments to both W and OW, sometimes in similar or sometimes in opposite ways. I suppose it all comes down to a question of monogamy. And unfortunately, humans are not strictly monogamous beings. Guess things would be simpler if we were swans...

[whichwayisup]

Sorry for the T/J Mino. But it appears there's been a lot of this thread falling foul to T/Js.

 

Me too. But, better to read humourous T/J'ings than bitter arguments going on.

[TogetherForever]

Me too. But, better to read humourous T/J'ings than bitter arguments going on.

 

 

Me three!! Better to read humourous t/j's & fart:lmao:than to snort water like I did last week.

[Lyssa]

 

 

That's nothing, WWIU! I typed up a letter for an old boss once and instead of starting the letter off with "I was most....." typed "I was moist", instead. Of course, my boss found it very amusing. How embarrasing!

 

LOL! Thanks for that, PP! I really needed a good laugh tonight!!!

[Lyssa]

Me three!! Better to read humourous t/j's & fart:lmao:than to snort water like I did last week.

 

I remember that...

[TogetherForever]

I remember that...

 

:pHi Lyssa,

I won't dare drink from a bottle of water while on LS ever again.

TF

[overandout]

The thing is, would anyone believe them?

 

Not that it's any of anyone's business, but MM and I have been seeing each other regularly, sleeping in the same bed, and NOT having sex, for the past three months. Unfortunate circumstances (not illness or anything on his part, he's fine), but they are there.

 

And yes, he's just as eager to see me as ever, and loves me just as much. I can tell.

 

Not that I suppose ANYone is going to believe it. But it's out there.

 

 

You say it is no one's business but no one was asking, however you chose to tell us.

 

If the problem lies with you, he isn't going to just stop his routine because that will cause questioning from his wife I suspect.

He will wait until things return to normal.

It is no skin off his nose. Better to wait patiently for a while rather than blast the whole thing out of the water and blow his cover so to speak.

 

I think your mm is a liar. He doesn't lie by omission.

He must tell his wife where he is staying and who with--is it a fictitious friend for instance?

If she shows no more interest that she does already, then he is good at covering his tracks or she wants to believe him. Either way it doesn't sound like she will force a d-day (nor will he) and you being the OW could be a long term relationship if you allow it to be. You have zero future with him and he is full of sh**.

 

I do not think he wants you as his wife or he would make it happen.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

You say it is no one's business but no one was asking, however you chose to tell us.

 

If the problem lies with you, he isn't going to just stop his routine because that will cause questioning from his wife I suspect.

He will wait until things return to normal.

It is no skin off his nose. Better to wait patiently for a while rather than blast the whole thing out of the water and blow his cover so to speak.

 

I think your mm is a liar. He doesn't lie by omission.

He must tell his wife where he is staying and who with--is it a fictitious friend for instance?

If she shows no more interest that she does already, then he is good at covering his tracks or she wants to believe him. Either way it doesn't sound like she will force a d-day (nor will he) and you being the OW could be a long term relationship if you allow it to be. You have zero future with him and he is full of sh**.

 

I do not think he wants you as his wife or he would make it happen.

 

I think Frannie was respnding to the debate of physical vs emotional attachment overandout highlighting the lack of sexual relationship at the moment has not disturbed her emotional relationship with MM in any way.

 

All MMs are liars, whether they be lies or lies of omission - if they weren't Frannies MM would be telling W "Yes I'm off to stay with Frannie, see you later in the week". Of course he lies - all MMs do! That doesn't mean they are full of sh**. That means he's in an affair, and undertakes the secrecy and lies that are part of the baggage of an affair until exposure or conclusion.

 

Lastly, who says frannie wants to be his wife? I certainly dont want to marry MM. I just want our R to be transparent. I think marriage is an outdated institution in the society I live in.

[Havn_a_life]

If that's what you tell yourself so that you can have a life...so be it...

 

Doesn't make it TRUE...

 

I am always honest with myself as well as others. I seem to have no problem with that, although others seem to not like the whole honesty thing.

I have a wonderful life, thank you. It is helped by being honest with myself and others.

[Havn_a_life]

Ok and here is the pot calling the kettle....yeah talk about deluding... anyway everyone has their own take on the situation the reality is no one knows what the man feels except for the man himself, regardless of what he dicides in the end he knows what he felt while in the A. You wanna believe they feel nothing, tell yourself that you have to justify taking him back somehow...

 

Well, I sure did face a fact. It was harsh enough, that he had sex with another woman.

I doubt very much his feelings(heartwise) were involved simply because the OW had none. He knew what he wanted from her(mostly oral, and honey, that ain't about love at all) and she did too. She was after a sugar daddy to pay her way. period.

I have the trust in my heart to know what he wanted (and got) from her, and it wasn't love. It was sex.

[Havn_a_life]

It's like a dog peeing on a fence post at the edge of its territory. No need to aggressively challenge the competing dog in the adjacent territory and risk a fight; if it does stray into your territory, it will smell the mark and know it has encroached - that you own this land now. You send your message without having to risk a direct confrontation.

 

 

LMAO

[Havn_a_life]

I don't think you want to see how they act when we cut them off... they come back begging and won't leave us alone.

 

You BS's need to keep your H's on a tighter leash.

 

Well, I'd say a good # of them just go out and find a new OW. I very much doubt they get all freaked out.

[Havn_a_life]

I guess it's not possible that our marriage is now stronger than ever because we both decided that we love each other enough to fix the problems in our marriage and in ourselves. It can't be that he made a poor choice in finding a quick fix in an OW and now regrets that choice. It's would not be at all believable that he was lacking something in himself and his affair had nothing to do with me or the OW, and everything to do with his own insecurities.

 

There is no way that he has done everything possible to show me that he is committed to me and our marriage. Because that would mean that the OW really didn't mean anything to him and that would be a truth that no one here wants to admit. So I agree no way could any of that actually happen. It must be a fantasy.

 

Your H sounds strikingly familiar to mine.

I don't think some people want to know that some MM cheat once and never do it again. That they become trustable again. That the A was solely about sex and an ego boost and not about love.

 

I guess, whatever gets them through their A with their MP.

[Havn_a_life]

I think Frannie was respnding to the debate of physical vs emotional attachment overandout highlighting the lack of sexual relationship at the moment has not disturbed her emotional relationship with MM in any way.

 

All MMs are liars, whether they be lies or lies of omission - if they weren't Frannies MM would be telling W "Yes I'm off to stay with Frannie, see you later in the week". Of course he lies - all MMs do! That doesn't mean they are full of sh**. That means he's in an affair, and undertakes the secrecy and lies that are part of the baggage of an affair until exposure or conclusion.

 

Lastly, who says frannie wants to be his wife? I certainly dont want to marry MM. I just want our R to be transparent. I think marriage is an outdated institution in the society I live in.

 

And that society would be?