What should I expect?

[Marianne]

Okay so I called up the guy I've been dating for two weeks because I had been ticked that he didn't call when he said he would. I called him Tuesday night and said "sorry to disturb you"

and he said "you're not disturbing me at all," and we made some chit chat small talk, then I confronted him about it in my own way by saying

"Look, I just want to say that I HATE being the one who chases! I don't want to be in this position or play these kinds of games."

and he told me to relax and explained that he had thought I had stayed at a girfriends place which I had mentioned before that I might study together with her, and he didn't know where to reach me, then he said,

"I don't play games. I'm a grown man, so when can I see you?"

I couldn't yesterday and today he can't so we opted for Friday night after a dinner (I was invited to a family dinner) at his place.

 

Now I'm almost certain I will probably end up spending the night there at his place and on one hand this excites me terribly, but on the other it makes me kind of nervous because I don't want to become to caught up or get too involved and loose myself like I have the tendancy to do so. I also just got my period (this is probably a blessing because it means it won't go to sex just yet)

and I'm kind of worried that this might turn him off.

What should I expect if I spend the night?

How do most men feel about women and their periods?

Does this look like it could be going too fast?

[Tony T]

1. "What should I expect if I spend the night?"

 

Why is it necessary to spend the night? I think this is very presumptuous. You've only been dating him for two weeks and you've not seen him often during that time. I think you're really trying to push this too much and you will surely turn him off if you continue. A guy who truly wants to get ahold of a lady will surely do so.

 

You don't want him to think you sleepover with every guy you start dating. Slow yourself down!

 

2. "How do most men feel about women and their periods?"

 

I'm more concerned about women's question marks but that's a whole other thread. Periods are natural, they're something that happens, they're something you can do nothing about. The greater number of men would not have vaginal sex with a woman who was on her period and particularly if it was one of the first few times.

 

Why do you even have to go to his house? Isn't there some other place you can meet? If you do go to his house, let him know in a roundabout way early on that it's that time of month for you...so he won't be so agressive from the start. However, by doing so you run the risk of having him think you're BSing him just because you don't want to go to bed with him. And, no, don't offer to let him look.

 

3. "Does this look like it could be going too fast?"

 

Way too fast, yes. But YOU are the one who's going fast. It seems like he's doing just fine.

[HokeyReligions]

Now I'm almost certain I will probably end up spending the night there at his place and on one hand this excites me terribly, but on the other it makes me kind of nervous because I don't want to become to caught up or get too involved and loose myself like I have the tendancy to do so.

You make it sound like you have no control over yourself -- like an animal in heat. If you want to sleep around, then sleep around. If you don't, then don't.

 

I also just got my period (this is probably a blessing because it means it won't go to sex just yet)

I repeat. Are you an animal with no self control?

 

and I'm kind of worried that this might turn him off.

What should I expect if I spend the night?

If you tell someone you are going to spend the night, I would imagine that he expects there to be sexual activity. If he were to post on this board I wonder what it would say: "I invited my new gf over and she agreed to spend the night, but then she tells me No Sex. What's with that?"

 

How do most men feel about women and their periods?

Does this look like it could be going too fast?

 

Men feel differently. Some might be shy or embarassed about it. Some may be disgusted, others may not care. Personally, I think talking about your period in a serious conversation this early in the relationship is inappropriate. Yes, I do think the relationship is going too fast.

 

If the relatioship progresses to intimacy and you are on your period, and he makes a pass or suggestion to have sex, try this line. "sorry charlie, but in the words of Nefretiti ; Not Tonight, It's My Pyramid"

 

[Marianne]

The first date we had he asked if I wanted to stay over because I had a sore back, and the first time I met him he tried to hold me hand in a restaurant and if I had let him, he probably would have kissed me on the lips when he hugged me to say goodnight!

 

I was the one who pulled the reins initially.

 

Tonight is the second passover seder and I was origianallly supposed to to an aunt's but there were family problems and it was cancelled so I was thinking about going to a dinner at a rabbi's house where I know he is going to be. I don't want to go there to see him necessarily as I probably would go there if I didn't know him because I want to have another seder. If I go do you think he'll think I'm chasing him? In this town there are not many choices as the religious community is relatively small. What should I do?

[Marianne]

Okay so I ened up going to the huge seder at the rabbi's house on Thursday night where of course I saw Him.

I didn't sit next to him because I didn't want to appear imposing or pushy since he had come with his male friend.

 

Many men (some who I knew others new) went over to talk to me and it was clear they were all interested in me and I was embarassed being surrounded by so many men. I didn't want to be rude and not talk nicely to them, but I also didn't want Him to think I was flirting with these other men.

 

Near the end when he was getting up to leave he whispered in my ear if I wanted to come to his place afterwards and I nodded.

So I drove to his place and ended up spending the night with him although I couldn't do anything because I had my period. He told me he would tell his friend who would be staying with him after the holidays (he stayed somewhere else because he is very religious and wanted to be within a walking distance of a synagogue) that I was his girlfriend. Does this mean he is serious about me? I told him I didn't want to be a "secret" and made it very clear before getting into that bed with him, and he told me I worried too much about things when I didn't need to.

 

In the morning he ejaculated without me really doing anything to him. All he did was rub on my stomach a bit. How is this possible? Does this mean he might be pre-ejacultatory if we end up actually having sex. I have some important things coming up next week and have to concentrate on them. Should I post-pone seeing him for a while so I don't loose my focus?

[Just A Girl2]

First of all, who is "Him"? Is this someone you've been interested in for a while?

 

Is this the first time you ever met Him?

 

Or was he just some gorgeous guy you met for the first time Thursday night?

 

Without knowing the answers to these questions, it's hard to give you accurate advice.

 

As for the "ejaculation" issue..well let's face it......he has a woman sleeping in his bed with him all night, no doubt that made him horny. Of course it wouldn't take much after hours of likely wanting you, to have to "release." And no, just because he did this doesn't mean he's got some kind of 'problem' with premature ejaculation LOL Also, most men wake up in the morning with a "woody" (hard-on)......add to that, him lying next to you......of COURSE it didn't take much for him to let er rip.