May need counseling, but comming here first...

[Yosef]

Well, I've become frustrated over my grades more and more lately, and I'm becomming worried. Here's the deal:

 

When I score a 95 or less on anything, I become frustrated. I feel awful and I blame myself for not trying hard enough. I don't feel happy for my straight A's. I've been known to blow off honors and awards.

 

I'm obsessed with trying to look smart. I always use big words and I've turned into a thesaurus-writer, one of those cheap writers that look up words in the thesaurus and splash them into the paper to make it look smarter, but it doesn't make it sound better, if not worse.

 

I always feel inadequate to everyone else, which is why I use big/smart words. I feel as if everyone is smarter than I am. My friends take AP classes and I don't, for fear of failing, so I don't attempt to take risks. I often refer to people who've failed classes to being smarter than I, even though I've never had a grade less than a C.

 

My family and friends constantly tell me that I'm far too hard on myself, and they refer to me as having the worst case of self-inadequecy they've ever seen. They often flatter me with praise for doing a good job, and I think that I'm praised too much, but people also tell me that I'm too modest and that I should start accepting compliments more often.

 

Every few days or so, I take a 5 mile walk, as it supplies me with a form of meditation. I can't keep a clear mind while I'm sitting still, so the constant moving allows me to relax.

 

So, right now, it's not that huge of a problem, but I feel that it's inevitable that it will become very harmful to my future relationships and jobs. I don't want to feel inadequate all of the time, I want to be able to accept that I'm doing a good job.

 

You guys have any tips or suggestions to help me reduce or even rid this mindset?

[Tony T]

You're going to just have to learn to love yourself exactly like you are...not like you want to make yourself into and not like you want others to see you. In the end, NOBODY really cares. People who may be impressed with your intelligence think about you three or four seconds a month...if that often.

 

Stop being so caught up with yourself and start living. You seem to be wanting to impress a LOT of people who won't even be in your life in the future...and they won't even think about where you are or how smart you are. What you're doing is a waste of time and energy.

 

Travel light. Enjoy being who you are. If all else fails, go visit a cemetery and see just how impressed you are with all the people there. Unless you're cremated, that's where you'll end up. While you are alive, for Pete's sake loosen up and enjoy yourself. I promise you, nobody else cares whether you enjoy yourself or not and nobody cares how smart you are either. They're too busy worrying about themselves.

[amaysngrace]

Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel like you always need to please others without any thoughts of yourself first? Are you afraid of letting someone down or disappointing your parents?

 

If so, you may want to google 'perfectionist' and see if they have any solid advice to offer.

[Trialbyfire]

I always feel inadequate to everyone else,

Yousef, can you please list the things that make you feel you're inadequate, compared to others?

[Yosef]

Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel like you always need to please others without any thoughts of yourself first? Are you afraid of letting someone down or disappointing your parents?

 

If so, you may want to google 'perfectionist' and see if they have any solid advice to offer.

 

 

I officially, (after research) am a total, 100% without-a-doubt Perfectionist. Thanks for the idea, I never actually thought I was a perfectionist, it never crossed my mind but it matches it exactly.

[whichwayisup]

Go talk to a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

 

You need to just relax and BE yourself. It seems you're very concerned about how you are peceived by others, which inturn is putting alot of pressure on youreslf to BE THE BEST.

 

You're not getting any self satisifaction from all your hard work! Christ, I don't think I've ever had a 90, let alone a 95! You should be PROUD of yourself, not beating yourself up over it.

 

The good news is, you want to do something about it - So think about therapy.