Is he playing me or will he really leave his wife

[SoxPrincess]

Wow.

 

All I have to say, after reading the posts here and on Women Savers, is this is one messed up sitch. Of course, after reading all the posts, I am not convinced that the person posting on WS and the person posting here are two different people. I did notice the person posting on WS is from Reno and that's where I live so maybe I can do some investigating :laugh:

[Breathing]

Unless....someone's lying about how bad his marriage is and how he's told his wife he doesn't love her anymore.

 

Could the liar be MM? Yeah, I know, that's crazy talk.

 

Ya THINK??? :laugh:

 

(Great post)

[LucreziaBorgia]

Wow.

 

All I have to say, after reading the posts here and on Women Savers, is this is one messed up sitch. Of course, after reading all the posts, I am not convinced that the person posting on WS and the person posting here are two different people.

 

I figure one story is from a bogus POV, the other not. I see that happen sometimes - an OW will post on one board to get advice, and then post on behalf of a "friend who is an OW" on the other board, thinking she'll get less biased advice.

[overandout]

Whichisup, that's so true. At the end of the day, mm wants to have it all the W as well as the bit on the side. If you can handle that position, so be it.

I knew I couldn't, so I ended the rellie. MM do not want to give up what's within their comfort zone, why bother to start again at the ripe old age of 43?

TBH, hands on heart do you really think that they no longer have sex? Do really think they are no longer in love? They may not be still be in love in the adventurous and lusty sense, but they have much more than what you have with him, they have friends together, family, friendship, kids, history. Mostly that have a life together and a marriage.

 

I remember my xmm broke his leg and when I said I would visit him in hospital, he said that wasn't a good idea as his wife and kids ofen visited.

I said to him to find out when they weren't visiting, but he was silent on the end of the phone.

Stupid me. He was worried that a nurse might say something inadvertently to the family about the number of visitors he was getting, or a family friend might arrive out of the blue and find me at his bedside.

I remember putting the phone down and realising just how low and degraded I felt.

When you look at the real world, you realise that the OW is only ever in the shadows of the mm's picture of his life.

[whichwayisup]

I remember putting the phone down and realising just how low and degraded I felt.

 

Sadly, that's the bottomline of it all, isn't it.

[frannie]

I remember my xmm broke his leg and when I said I would visit him in hospital, he said that wasn't a good idea as his wife and kids ofen visited.

I said to him to find out when they weren't visiting, but he was silent on the end of the phone.

Stupid me. He was worried that a nurse might say something inadvertently to the family about the number of visitors he was getting, or a family friend might arrive out of the blue and find me at his bedside.

I remember putting the phone down and realising just how low and degraded I felt.

When you look at the real world, you realise that the OW is only ever in the shadows of the mm's picture of his life.

 

Sounds like you were pretty naive or not really thinking things through, eh? Did you really think that visiting him in hospital was a great idea..??

 

The point is that yes, of course, an affair has to be secret from the W, especially in the US, in normal, everyday marriages. And blundering about thinking that the W will just have to lump it, or no one will mention things is crassness in the extreme.

 

I never realised you were an xOW, overandout. Then again I only really noticed your posts when you're baiting me. Tell me again about MM's W... is she pretty..?

[frannie]

Sadly, that's the bottomline of it all, isn't it.

 

Are you speaking from experience there..?

[overandout]

Sounds like you were pretty naive or not really thinking things through, eh? Did you really think that visiting him in hospital was a great idea..??

 

The point is that yes, of course, an affair has to be secret from the W, especially in the US, in normal, everyday marriages. And blundering about thinking that the W will just have to lump it, or no one will mention things is crassness in the extreme.

 

I never realised you were an xOW, overandout. Then again I only really noticed your posts when you're baiting me. Tell me again about MM's W... is she pretty..?

 

 

I am not baiting you and yes I am an XOW and have never been a BS.

Like you I have been in long term relationships and never married.

We have something in common except that I know a brick wall when I see one.

You need to grow up a little bit may I suggest, if the only way that you can deal with answering my posts is to continuously refer to something that I posted several weeks ago.

 

Still if that's your way of dealing with your role, then fair enough.

Your frustration kind of glares through your posts.

[overandout]

Sadly, that's the bottomline of it all, isn't it.

 

 

Absolutely, and that's why I got out and refuse to ressurect the affair.

[whichwayisup]

Are you speaking from experience there..?

 

No. Just from what I've read on here.

 

Absolutely, and that's why I got out and refuse to ressurect the affair.

 

That's good.

[frannie]

I am not baiting you and yes I am an XOW and have never been a BS.

Like you I have been in long term relationships and never married.

We have something in common except that I know a brick wall when I see one.

You need to grow up a little bit may I suggest, if the only way that you can deal with answering my posts is to continuously refer to something that I posted several weeks ago.

 

Still if that's your way of dealing with your role, then fair enough.

Your frustration kind of glares through your posts.

 

The only time I've seen you post here is in response to my posts... so forgive me if it seems you're baiting me. I'm sure you're off posting hither and thither all the time I'm away. But every time I come back there you are, telling me how bad my relationship is.

 

And of course it was a classic moment (mentioned on another infamous forum as an 'outing in the making') when you told everyone you knew my MM's W and I was about to be 'exposed' ... I like to relive it now and then because it is beyond my comprehension how someone could even think that they could get away with posting such nonsense on a public forum. I'm sorry you'd rather it were brushed under the carpet. C'est la vie.

 

I don't need to 'deal' with anything you write. Like your silly assertation that you knew anything about me, him or his wife, your constant certainty that you have ANY insight into my mind, his mind, what our relationship is or where it's going or indeed anything at all is of NO interest to me whatsoever.

 

But as long as I find it amusing, I'll keep responding. You may do as you please. I do find it somewhat sad, however. In fact, I feel that if you dropped your daft act we might actually have something to say to each other. Maybe in another life.

[frannie]

No. Just from what I've read on here.

 

... but not from the experience of all OW. Not all of them feel 'low and degraded'. But no doubt that is because they are so far down they don't even feel it... right..?

[overandout]

The only time I've seen you post here is in response to my posts... so forgive me if it seems you're baiting me. I'm sure you're off posting hither and thither all the time I'm away. But every time I come back there you are, telling me how bad my relationship is.

 

And of course it was a classic moment (mentioned on another infamous forum as an 'outing in the making') when you told everyone you knew my MM's W and I was about to be 'exposed' ... I like to relive it now and then because it is beyond my comprehension how someone could even think that they could get away with posting such nonsense on a public forum. I'm sorry you'd rather it were brushed under the carpet. C'est la vie.

 

I don't need to 'deal' with anything you write. Like your silly assertation that you knew anything about me, him or his wife, your constant certainty that you have ANY insight into my mind, his mind, what our relationship is or where it's going or indeed anything at all is of NO interest to me whatsoever.

 

But as long as I find it amusing, I'll keep responding. You may do as you please. I do find it somewhat sad, however. In fact, I feel that if you dropped your daft act we might actually have something to say to each other. Maybe in another life.

 

 

You sound like a woman scorned now Frannie.

I can't believe that someone who is a "DR" can be so blatantly used and taken for a ride like you are.

 

You can't stand it if anyone suggests that your mm loves his wife.

You can only reconcile your affair by convincing yourself that he doesn't love his wife and doesnt want to be in his marriage.

 

The children that he says are so important to him, he happily leaves for 3 or 4 days a week, whiles he pops off to see you. Most devoted fathers want to be there to see their kids, ask them about school and tuck them in; not be content with a 10 minute phone call.

That does not mean that he is in love with you.

It rather suggests that he is selfish, thinks only of himself and his own needs and isn't in love with his wife or you.

 

Because I actually do like you I am not apologising for trying to point these things out.

So if you think I am trying to bait you just to get a reaction out of you, then you are off beam.

[frannie]

You sound like a woman scorned now Frannie.

I can't believe that someone who is a "DR" can be so blatantly used and taken for a ride like you are.

 

You can't stand it if anyone suggests that your mm loves his wife.

You can only reconcile your affair by convincing yourself that he doesn't love his wife and doesnt want to be in his marriage.

 

The children that he says are so important to him, he happily leaves for 3 or 4 days a week, whiles he pops off to see you. Most devoted fathers want to be there to see their kids, ask them about school and tuck them in; not be content with a 10 minute phone call.

That does not mean that he is in love with you.

It rather suggests that he is selfish, thinks only of himself and his own needs and isn't in love with his wife or you.

 

Because I actually do like you I am not apologising for trying to point these things out.

So if you think I am trying to bait you just to get a reaction out of you, then you are off beam.

 

Well how can you like me, when you don't even know me..?

 

The rest of your post is your usual twisting of the small amount of information I've posted here to form some sort of picture of my life that suits your view of how affairs are. But you're way off base.

 

However, there's nothing at all that you would accept as contrary evidence to that, so you'll continue to have that view whatever happened, whatever was posted and by whichever of us posted. So tell me, what is the point of your posts..? I'm in a position to know that what you say is bunkum, no one else cares. You're out there on a limb 'liking me' but ignoring anything I say.

 

Very very odd situation. The sooner you find someone else to 'like' the better... you might even get it right next time.

[overandout]

Well how can you like me, when you don't even know me..?

 

The rest of your post is your usual twisting of the small amount of information I've posted here to form some sort of picture of my life that suits your view of how affairs are. But you're way off base.

 

However, there's nothing at all that you would accept as contrary evidence to that, so you'll continue to have that view whatever happened, whatever was posted and by whichever of us posted. So tell me, what is the point of your posts..? I'm in a position to know that what you say is bunkum, no one else cares. You're out there on a limb 'liking me' but ignoring anything I say.

 

Very very odd situation. The sooner you find someone else to 'like' the better... you might even get it right next time.

 

 

This is your trouble Frannie.

 

You home in on what I say about liking you, because it suits you to avoid the main bits of my post, about his being selfish; "devoted" dad.

But as you don't like facing reality, carry on homing in on the one bit that wasn't particulary pertinent in my post.

Too uncomfortable for you to face the reality of the situation.

[frannie]

This is your trouble Frannie.

 

You home in on what I say about liking you, because it suits you to avoid the main bits of my post, about his being selfish; "devoted" dad.

But as you don't like facing reality, carry on homing in on the one bit that wasn't particulary pertinent in my post.

Too uncomfortable for you to face the reality of the situation.

 

 

OAO I really think your comments about my relationship would be better off posted on my thread, rather than cluttering up every other thread I post on.

 

If you have anything sensible to say on the matter, post in on my thread and I'll take a look at it at some point this week. I'll maybe also ask MM if he'll respond to anything you have to say too, how does that sound..?

[Havn_a_life]

I remember my xmm broke his leg and when I said I would visit him in hospital, he said that wasn't a good idea as his wife and kids ofen visited.

I said to him to find out when they weren't visiting, but he was silent on the end of the phone.

Stupid me. He was worried that a nurse might say something inadvertently to the family about the number of visitors he was getting, or a family friend might arrive out of the blue and find me at his bedside.

I remember putting the phone down and realising just how low and degraded I felt.

When you look at the real world, you realise that the OW is only ever in the shadows of the mm's picture of his life.

 

This is a very good example and observation.

[frannie]

This is a very good example and observation.

 

Well of course it is. But only someone with entitlement problems would think that it was OK to more or less demand that they visit their MM in hospital. I mean, who in their right mind would do that..??

 

That would be like me calling his W to find out if she could make sure he packed a shirt I particularly liked because we were going out to dinner on Tuesday and he was very forgetful. No one in their right mind would do that either.

[whichwayisup]

... but not from the experience of all OW. Not all of them feel 'low and degraded'. But no doubt that is because they are so far down they don't even feel it... right..?

 

I'm not too sure what you're hitting at here Frannie...

 

Many of the OW who have posted here DO feel low and degraded. I'm not saying that to be mean. I can see the pain they're in and how crappy they feel knowing that they can't end it with their MM yet. The way the beat up on themselves when NC is broken. I won't start naming names as that isn't fair, but right now I can think of about 5 OW on here who clearly post like they have some self esteem issues and know being in the A isn't healthy for them but they can't get out (yet) and take control back.

[Havn_a_life]

Well of course it is. But only a lunatic or someone with entintlement problems would think that it was OK to more or less demand that they visit their MM in hospital. I mean, who in their right mind would do that..??

 

That would be like me calling his W to find out if she could make sure he packed a shirt I particularly liked because we were going out to dinner on Tuesday and he was very forgetful. No one in their right mind would do that either.

 

You notice, the poster put him as XMM, which stated her as very wise, in my opinion. It sounds like it woke her up to her situation.