Should I walk away?

[casesensitive]

Here's my background: I am a gay 30-year-old male and haven't been in a serious relationship in over three years. I've gone on a lot of dates (many of which were excruciating and pointless), and I spent one year infatuated with a friend who hooked up with me on occasion but didn't return the feelings. (I'm way over him now, don't worry.) I'm definitely ready for a relationship and haven't been truly interested in anyone for ages, until now.

 

About two months ago, I met someone online. He responded to my ad for a casual, no-strings encounter. I didn't think he was very cute from the picture he sent me, but once he sent me a link to his MySpace page, I was singing a different tune. Turns out I found him really attractive--my type in every way--and we have a lot in common and even some mutual friends. I sent him a link to my MySpace page, and he told me he'd "love" to meet me.

 

So our casual hook up turned into something of a date. We met for drinks, and I was charmed by him in a serious way. My prayers were answered, and at one point in the night he kissed me. We went back his place and hooked up. It was insanely great. In the morning, we went out to breakfast. He held my hand at times, telling me to kiss him in the aisle of a convenience store, and before we went our separate ways, he told me that he had a lot of fun and would love to see me again.

 

We saw each other a few days later. He invited me to go out with him and a friend to a museum. It was a lot of fun, and I didn't mind that we weren't holding hands or kissing because we were with his friend. We went out to dinner after that. When we were finally alone, I thought we were going to repeat the hotness and romance from our first date, but instead he said he was going home. Then he told me this: "I want to tell you that I just got out of a relationship two weeks ago. I really like you, and I think you're really hot. I'd be swimming in your underwear right now, trust me, but I need a week or two to sort things out. I also just moved here, and I want to be single in the city for a while and be a slut, to be honest." I told him I appreciated his honesty and that it was okay. I was disappointed, but optimistic.

 

The next week, we went out to dinner, just the two of us, and I had an amazing time. I told him if he wanted to see other people, that was fine, and we could just casually date, but he said, "I would run away with you if we met under different circumstances, but I need to be single for a while." When we got back to his place, we finally kissed again and cuddled, for what seemed like hours. But he sent me home and said this: "I think you need to go home. I really don't want to **** this up. I want this to work and not regret anything in the morning." I was disappointed, for sure, but had not choice but to leave. We continued to make out for a while, down six flights of stairs, across the street, and into the cab I hailed. I've made out a lot, and I know when it doesn't mean anything, but I felt electricity, a connection, and a sense of being home.

 

And so this routine began, having the same conversation about us and making out, except we didn't have sex because he came down with a bacterial STD (his ex cheated on him and gave it to him, he said) and needed it to be treated and clear up. But as we saw each other more, only like once or twice a week, we didn't make out at all.

 

About a month after meeting him, it came to a head. As we took a cab home from a night out with his friends (I understood I was not going home with him and that we weren't going to make out or hook up), I asked him point blank what we were doing. He told me, as he said before, he wasn't ready, that he felt pressure from me to date. In return, I told him if he wasn't interested in me, he should let me know, and to protect my feelings, I think I should stop seeing him. He freaked out and told me he didn't want me to cut him off, so I told him I'd wait for him to work this problems out. He told me not to wait, and I told him I don't jump into relationships and that it sucks that it's been on his terms so far. Finally, he told me he really wanted it to work in the future if we seriously dated, but that he couldn't guarantee anything and wanted to remain friends. I went home very upset, obviously.

 

The next day, he sent me a text that said this: "Are you okay? I feel bad about last night. I'm sorry for being so confusing. Clearly I don't know what I want." I told him I was okay and that I was glad to finally understand his position. He replied and asked me if I was cutting him off, and he said he didn't want me to do that. Of course I said I wasn't, and he replied telling me he was "impressed" with the way I stood up for myself, that it was "hot."

 

Since then, I see less of him. Things kept getting in the way with his friends constantly being in town, and we have not gone on the long dates or hang out like we did in August. He doesn't contact me as much, but he sent me a few messages on my Facebook profile telling me how hot I looked in my pictures, that he would "contact me in a heartbeat." When he texts me, he calls me "sugar," especially when he's apologizing for being so busy, but he doesn't randomly get in touch with me just to see how I am doing. We haven't made out or hooked up in a while, and I know his infection has cleared. In fact, I think he's been hooking up online. I mean, that's how we met. He's single and has every right to.

 

I saw him twice last week, and it was fun. But he doesn't make any advances toward me, and we have not discussed us any further. I really, really like him. In fact, It's torturing me, and I've lost sleep and weight over it. I haven't contacted him in several days, and I haven't heard from him, either.

 

So, do you think this guy has lost interest in me? Or does he still have feelings for me and is keeping his distance because he's busy being single and doesn't want to hurt me? The last time I saw him, I told him I was going on a hot date. His face and tone changed to that of shock, and he said "What?" until I told him I was joking. He has told me over again that he really liked me and would be with me if he was ready for a relationship, but his actions as of late seem to point at the fact that he's no longer interested. I certainly don't want to be stuck in a situation where I am an unrequited lover, but I somehow want to remain friends. I don't know whether I just should walk away from this, or be his friend and wait in the wings while keeping my options open.