Iraq

[sarg81]

currently im in iraq 4months into a year deployment i was wondering if anybody knows a way to make my wife feel like shes not alone in rasing our daughter or who have been through this sort of thing that has advice

 

i think my daughter is going though something and its putting stress on our marriage, but i dont blame my daughter at all

 

my daughter wont let my wife out of her sight and is very clingy to her and very rebealous she is 3yrs old

 

everytime my wife wants to go out with friends she cant cause she says she dosnt like anybody to say anything about her behind her back about her going out will im gone fighting

 

she recently confesed that she despised me cause i already had my fun and she was jealous its like she was blaming me that she couldnt go out

 

then she said something real shocking she said i feel like a single mother now. i tryed to talk to her about this and reassure that shes not alone but nothing has changed

[Curmudgeon]

First of all, be safe and well. This old soldier (Vietnam) salutes you.

 

As for your dilemma, your wife's, actually, is there any family, hers or yours, who keeps in touch regularly and can offer her support and help when she needs it? Is she on post or off. If the former, there are decidedly womens'/wives' groups filled with those experiencing the same thing. By joining them she won't feel so alone.

 

If she's not on or near a post but there's a VA hospital or clininc nearby she could volunteer there which would be supportive of you and your fellow troops. She'd also meet others doing the same.

 

Best of luck, Sarge. I hope it all works out for you -- both of you.

[sarg81]

let me salute you. i as aoldier will never understand what the vietnam vets went through but i respect you greatly you are the true soldier

 

well both our families let us down greatly in the past and neither of has anyone to talk to thats one thing we have in common

 

my readiness nco has offered her family groups but shes turned them down shes said she dosnt need them she says her friends will do

 

she is young only 21 i know her age has alot to do with it i just feel like this out of my control its actually more frightning than this war

 

p.s. im going through reality struggles up here too im just glad someone is making it congrats!!!!!

[quankanne]

lo mismo de curm: Be safe soldier, and know that y'all are on my mind and in my prayers for a quick & safe mission so you can return home safely.

 

from a wife's point of view, I can see how she feels a bit disgruntled about being the one left holding the bag (so to speak), and I know that a sincere talk (or email in your case) about how much you appreciate what she does to help make your little family run so smoothly while you're on assignment will go a long way toward helping her feel understood.

 

little kids that age are an interesting contrast – they demand their independence, but within an environment they know is secure, so what your child is doing isn't unusual. Maybe suggest to your wife to do short-term trial separation from him or her, like leaving the child in the care of someone they both know, but for 20-30 minutes and then gradually build up the amount of time apart. Once your little one understands that Mommy returns after being away, maybe it won't be so hard on either of them.

[jbmarine]

Sgt., be safe and well. I'm currently an officer candidate, and I can only imagine the stress that deployment puts on a marriage. My only suggestion would be to stay in touch with her as much as possible and though it might even be embarrassing, go to your CO. He might have information for you as to things you can do.

 

 

Semper Fi