Do you want to marry?

[frannie]

Ok, I googled it. Hey, Ive got a marathon tomorrow, I have NOTHING else to do tonight apart from spend money on useless items on Ebay and post on LS...

 

This place in which you are now met has been duly sanctioned according to law for the celebration of marriages. Before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. A marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman voluntarily entered into for life for the exclusion of all others."

 

The Declaration:

The groom and then the bride repeat after the Superintendant Registrar:

 

I declare that I know of no legal reason why I (...)may not be joined in marriage to (...)

 

I ..() take you (...) to be my wedded wife/husband"

 

Or the registrar may just ask the couple:

 

Are you free to lawfully to marry (...) ?

 

The couple answer in turn:

 

"I am"

 

 

Humph, they gotta get that "for life" clause in somehow haven't they. They even forgot the better for worse thing - least I can constantly refer to my vows in arguments saying "But you said you'd accept me for being better AND worse!" There's no lee-way with these ones!

 

LOL... we googled that together, then..??

 

Yeah, I agree the 'for life' thing is a little assumptive... but you know, got to show willing or something.

[overandout]

Goes something like this:

 

"This place in which you are now met has been duly sanctioned according to law for the celebration of marriages. Before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. A marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman voluntarily entered into for life for the exclusion of all others."

 

The Declaration:

The groom and then the bride repeat after the Superintendant Registrar:

 

I declare that I know of no legal reason why I (...)may not be joined in marriage to (...)

 

I ..() take you (...) to be my wedded wife/husband"

 

Or the registrar may just ask the couple:

 

Are you free to lawfully to marry (...) ?

 

The couple answer in turn:

 

"I am"

 

 

You can then add your own words/declarations etc. if you like.

 

 

QUICK forward these onto your mm so he can practise them for 10 years time......

[overandout]

oooh... maybe I should just not sleep with him forever... that will 'prove' that it's not all about sex... right..? is that what I should do, OAO..? Please advise me, for I am lost and look to you for guidance.

 

Meanwhile, back in reality...

 

 

Ah reality..

Yes what time does he get into bed with his wife?

[frannie]

QUICK forward these onto your mm so he can practise them for 10 years time......

 

Awww... you know I'd invite you but with all that bitterness inside you might be dead and gawn by that time OAO

[OpenBook]

Before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. A marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman voluntarily entered into for life for the exclusion of all others

 

Humph, they gotta get that "for life" clause in somehow haven't they. They even forgot the better for worse thing - least I can constantly refer to my vows in arguments saying "But you said you'd accept me for being better AND worse!" There's no lee-way with these ones!

 

Sounds more like a life sentence to me. "Before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of this life sentence, and what an IDIOT you are for entering into it voluntarily." :D

[frannie]

Ah reality..

Yes what time does he get into bed with his wife?

 

About ten minutes ago, why, are you taking notes. You know you could really narrow it down with that kind of info... I should be careful what I post...

[overandout]

Awww... you know I'd invite you but with all that bitterness inside you might be dead and gawn by that time OAO

 

I think the bitterness is with you.

Not nice being rejected by someone that wants you when it is convenient.

Aaah the children--now why do I keep forgetting them.

 

I tell you what. Let all the OW push their mm into a corner and issue ultimatums; let 99.9% (say they are staying in their marriage and then all those rejected OW can suddenly become happy OW just like you.

They would all be happy having a part of their mm and not mind at all that they will always share him.

Sounds plausible NOT:o

[frannie]

I think the bitterness is with you.

Not nice being rejected by someone that wants you when it is convenient.

Aaah the children--now why do I keep forgetting them.

 

I tell you what. Let all the OW push their mm into a corner and issue ultimatums; let 99.9% (say they are staying in their marriage and then all those rejected OW can suddenly become happy OW just like you.

They would all be happy having a part of their mm and not mind at all that they will always share him.

Sounds plausible NOT:o

 

Hmm I don't know OAO... I'd say a surer sign of bitterness or issues was someone posting day after day trying to convince others that their lives are as bad as theirs are, their circumstances as dire as theirs were, in the face of the evidence and personal statements. But each to their own definitions.

 

As a matter of record, I didn't push my MM into any ultimatum. If you have the time (possibly you do) you could go back and look at the thread WBASmethwick posted, what he said, and what he was looking for. Ditto my posts of around the same time and earlier. No one was issuing any ultimatums, we were looking for input. Honestly trying to pick our way through a circumstance that neither of us wanted.

 

Neither are either of us content with it now. But it is what it is, and we're happy with each other. If you can't bear that, that's your problem really. But all you're really doing is posting on thread after thread, trying to convince me that my relationship is something I'm unhappy with. Not only is it pointless, but it's disruptive to the forum. If you have something to say to me about my relationship, it would probably be best you posted it on my thread, where people are free to debate it to perpetuity.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

I think the bitterness is with you.

Not nice being rejected by someone that wants you when it is convenient.

Aaah the children--now why do I keep forgetting them.

 

I tell you what. Let all the OW push their mm into a corner and issue ultimatums; let 99.9% (say they are staying in their marriage and then all those rejected OW can suddenly become happy OW just like you.

They would all be happy having a part of their mm and not mind at all that they will always share him.

Sounds plausible NOT:o

 

Ahem! Erm... this thread is called "Do you want to marry?" not "Overandouts guide to another posters relationship".

 

Its MY thread with MY question. I own it. I paid for it. I married it. I created the universe that created the internet that made it. Show some respect!

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Sounds more like a life sentence to me. "Before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of this life sentence, and what an IDIOT you are for entering into it voluntarily." :D

 

You get a shorter sentence for murder...

[frannie]

Ahem! Erm... this thread is called "Do you want to marry?" not "Overandouts guide to another posters relationship".

 

Its MY thread with MY question. I own it. I paid for it. I married it. I created the universe that created the internet that made it. Show some respect!

 

I think the idea of 'thread jacking' hasn't made it to OAO's world yet. Fear not I've copied a few posts to my thread... maybe the rest of the forum can RIP now... you never know...

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

I think the idea of 'thread jacking' hasn't made it to OAO's world yet. Fear not I've copied a few posts to my thread... maybe the rest of the forum can RIP now... you never know...

 

Ah, its okay, I'm not precious.

 

I should let you know, since your MM went to bed 10 minutes ago and is from the UK, I have whittled it down from the trillions of MM in the UK ...

 

Originally Posted by overandout QUICK forward these onto your mm so he can practise them for 10 years time......

 

I have. I'm sitting in my bride dress with mascara running down my face and red wine spilt on the veil wondering when he's gonna knock my door down. Whats the website for Tiffanys just in case?

 

As this is a hypothetical thread (which may I add, you have failed to answer my hypothetical question) should I send a hypothetical email? How does one go about sending a hypothetical email?

[OWoman]

oooh... maybe I should just not sleep with him forever... that will 'prove' that it's not all about sex... right..?

 

Then you SERIOUSLY may as well be married! Stuck together, forever, in a sexless union...

[OWoman]

A marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman voluntarily entered into for life for the exclusion of all others."

 

Wow - isn't that a bit presumptious of the State, telling them it's for life and it's exclusive? IIRC ours did nothing of the sort, basically just asked if both parties were in a position to give informed consent, then asked if they consented, and called for two witnesses. Whole thing takes less than 5 minutes, costs a revenue stamp (two bucks) and can be done without an appointment, so no forethought necessary. (Perhaps someone should tell Britney?)

[overandout]

Apologies Je Ne Regrets Rien.

 

Back to the thread, yes I would like to get married one day. Don't want children of my own though.

However I won't be waiting years and years for a mm to get divorced to do it.

[CAT100]

Lol this thread has got really funny:lmao:

How many OW on this board are in the UK? I think we should all meet up sometime & have a few drinks, alcohol may help us blot out the bitterness & pain we are all feeling.. :lmao:

[marlena]

In answer to the OP's original question. Yes, there can be no doubt that the institution of marriage (society invented marriage ) as it was once perceived is on the demise. The statistics speak for themselves.

 

On a more personal level, I would never remarry. Marriage and an affair with a MM were two of the most traumatic events in my life. However, when in my A , yes, I did envision marrying my MM ...something like visions "of sugar plums danced in my head". This was all a part of the delusion I was experiencing at the time.

 

Today, older and wiser in years, I would do neither unless I were in my twenties/thirties and wanted to have a family. Whether we like it or not, society does still frown on children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, they are still marginalised. t is unfair to these children to be looked upon as second class citizens.

 

Now, I seek love in the form of interesting companionship and I would prefer to have separate homes.

[OpenBook]

Lol this thread has got really funny:lmao:

How many OW on this board are in the UK? I think we should all meet up sometime & have a few drinks, alcohol may help us blot out the bitterness & pain we are all feeling.. :lmao:

 

I'll raise my glass to you from over here "across the pond." Cheers! :D

[OpenBook]

In answer to the OP's original question. Yes, there can be no doubt that the institution of marriage (society invented marriage ) as it was once perceived is on the demise. The statistics speak for themselves.

 

On a more personal level, I would never remarry. Marriage and an affair with a MM were two of the most traumatic events in my life. However, when in my A , yes, I did envision marrying my MM ...something like visions "of sugar plums danced in my head". This was all a part of the delusion I was experiencing at the time.

 

Today, older and wiser in years, I would do neither unless I were in my twenties/thirties and wanted to have a family. Whether we like it or not, society does still frown on children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, they are still marginalised. t is unfair to these children to be looked upon as second class citizens.

 

Now, I seek love in the form of interesting companionship and I would prefer to have separate homes.

 

 

Amen, amen, AMEN to all of it Marlena! (Especially the part about the traumatic events!) I have exactly the same viewpoint. And I'm so glad to be here at this point in my life!!! To be in my 20's/30's and looking for a partner to raise children with... it just makes my knees buckle to think about how overwhelming it would be.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Lol this thread has got really funny:lmao:

How many OW on this board are in the UK? I think we should all meet up sometime & have a few drinks, alcohol may help us blot out the bitterness & pain we are all feeling.. :lmao:

 

Can we all wear our bridal gowns and look tormented while drinking straight tequila? I'm up for that lol...

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Amen, amen, AMEN to all of it Marlena! (Especially the part about the traumatic events!) I have exactly the same viewpoint. And I'm so glad to be here at this point in my life!!! To be in my 20's/30's and looking for a partner to raise children with... it just makes my knees buckle to think about how overwhelming it would be.

 

Tell me about it!

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

In answer to the OP's original question. Yes, there can be no doubt that the institution of marriage (society invented marriage ) as it was once perceived is on the demise. The statistics speak for themselves.

 

On a more personal level, I would never remarry. Marriage and an affair with a MM were two of the most traumatic events in my life. However, when in my A , yes, I did envision marrying my MM ...something like visions "of sugar plums danced in my head". This was all a part of the delusion I was experiencing at the time.

 

Today, older and wiser in years, I would do neither unless I were in my twenties/thirties and wanted to have a family. Whether we like it or not, society does still frown on children born out of wedlock. Unfortunately, they are still marginalised. t is unfair to these children to be looked upon as second class citizens.

 

Now, I seek love in the form of interesting companionship and I would prefer to have separate homes.

 

Interesting companionship sounds good to me Marlena.

 

I do, however, disagree with the marginalisation of children born out of wedlock. I' not sure where you live, but in my area a child born out of wedlock is more common in a classroom of 30 kids than children who have parents who have only been married to each other. Nobody blinks an eye, other than people probably 60+ who have come from a generation where children born out of wedlock were a hush-hush shame. Maybe thats to do with the demise of the Church in england, I dont know. I guess its different everywhere.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Wow - isn't that a bit presumptious of the State, telling them it's for life and it's exclusive? IIRC ours did nothing of the sort, basically just asked if both parties were in a position to give informed consent, then asked if they consented, and called for two witnesses. Whole thing takes less than 5 minutes, costs a revenue stamp (two bucks) and can be done without an appointment, so no forethought necessary. (Perhaps someone should tell Britney?)

 

Its presumptious for ANYONE to ask forever of ANYONE in my honest opinion.

 

The only thing we can guarantee is death and taxes. So, I wouldn't promise forever to anyone. Because I cant see the future. I cant see the dealbreakers that may cause us to split. Why promise forever when doing your best for as long as you can is all we can really do?

[OWoman]

I do, however, disagree with the marginalisation of children born out of wedlock. I' not sure where you live, but in my area a child born out of wedlock is more common in a classroom of 30 kids than children who have parents who have only been married to each other. Nobody blinks an eye, other than people probably 60+ who have come from a generation where children born out of wedlock were a hush-hush shame. Maybe thats to do with the demise of the Church in england, I dont know. I guess its different everywhere.

 

In this country about 80% of people claim to be "christian" of some or other flavour (on the census forms, anyway) so the church hasn't quite become obsolete here yet, but more children are born "out of wedlock" than in. There are all kinds of family set ups - single parent, bin-nuclear families, same sex parents, mixed race families, blended families of remarried parents with step and half siblings... The traditional nuclear family is pretty scarce and I've not head of any kids picking up flak or being considered odd because of not being nuked. (Though some kids with older parents have had to endure the "is that your granny?"-type comments)

[marlena]

I do, however, disagree with the marginalisation of children born out of wedlock. I' not sure where you live, but in my area a child born out of wedlock is more common in a classroom of 30 kids than children who have parents who have only been married to each other. Nobody blinks an eye, other than people probably 60+ who have come from a generation where children born out of wedlock were a hush-hush shame.

 

Oh, please, don't get me wrong. I am just saying that these children are in some societies (particularly in small communities) unfairly marginalized.

 

I wasn't talking about a couple who decide to have children without getting married though they too may run into beaurocratic problems and one or two raised eyebrows. Rather I was referring to young women who decide to have a child when there is no father. Don't get me wrong! Some are very brave and take their responsibilities seriously though others ae simply foolish or selfish. Raising children to become functional and well balanced adults is serious business. Every chld deserves to have a father or at least have a fair shot at having one ...even if he does run out a few years down the road,lol!!!!!!!!