Girlfriend Cheated and confessed~! Want her back still !

[Lonestar23]

No contact means no contact. If you keep in touch, it's the perfect way to sabotage the methodology of no contact. No contact allows you to sever your emotional dependency on someone else.

 

mmm, i got to stop doing this to myself. Some how I got to find a way to stop contacting her and her contacting me.

 

We ran into each other in a bar yday night and today we talked on txt msgs again. This is no good. And then now - she wants to talk but not the talk where everything goes well type of talk.

 

I really have to stop doing this to myself. I got to find a way to stop this.

[Trialbyfire]

mmm, i got to stop doing this to myself. Some how I got to find a way to stop contacting her and her contacting me.

 

We ran into each other in a bar yday night and today we talked on txt msgs again. This is no good. And then now - she wants to talk but not the talk where everything goes well type of talk.

 

I really have to stop doing this to myself. I got to find a way to stop this.

Lonestar, you have to decide how much respect you or anyone else deserves in a relationship. Shouldn't a relationship be about both of you, where exclusivity is a hard boundary?

[norajane]

What is so damned special about her that you're want her back when she's been screwing around behind your back? I would really like to know what she offers that you can't seem to get out of your head.

 

Is she great in bed?

Do you feel 'hot' when you're with her, because a hot girl likes you?

Does she admire you and make you feel like you're really special?

Are you flattered that she pays attention to you?

Are you afraid you'll never meet anyone else?

 

What is the appeal you can't let go of?

[GracelessWomenCom]

Been dating this girl for 7 months and can say I feel like I love her - Shes 20 and I'm 23. This is my 2nd real relationship. First was 5yrs long and now this one. This is the first time I've been cheated on. I, myself have never cheated before.

 

 

She told me before she won't see him no more but I guess afterwards she did.

 

Yesterday night she confessed to me she cheated on me with her ex-bf - She secretly saw him behind my back (happened a few times) He contacts her and I guess she agreed to hang out even tho it was only an hr only. He tried to kiss her on the lips but she didn't kiss him back nor pushed him away.

 

While we was on a break she admitted she slept with him. ( don't know if that counts since we were on a break )

 

She told him, she don't want to see him anymore.

 

I told her - the one thing that would make me give up this relationship is if she cheated. But since it happen I feel differently about it. I do really care about her a lot. And I want to give this another chance - even tho all my friends advise me against this.

 

On top of that - she regrets and feels guilty about this situation. But she can't be with me because of this. She don't want that feeling where every time she goes out with her friends or something I would give her the third degree.

 

At first after she told me what happen - I told her I can forget about this but she said no. It won't be the same anymore. Even tho she wants to be with me and I treated her so great like no one has.

 

So in the end when it really hit me I sort of blew up - saying things like " do you know how I feel? " " do you even care about me? " etc.

 

In the end - I gave her, her house keys back and left her house. ( I was pretty pissed off and tired at this point 4am )

 

Anyway - I had the whole day to think about it - NC with her and she even blocked me from AIM so I don't go saying stupid things to her (understandable)

 

Well as I come to a conclusion - I want to give this another go - but I don't know if its possible because of how she feels - ' things won't be the same '

 

ie: she might not give this another chance

 

well - What I am asking from you guys/gals at loveshack.org is for a un-biased opinion on how to handle this.

 

- Should I stick to my guns and give up and move on 'because the relationship will never be the same.'

 

- Save myself the heartache?

 

OR

 

- Listen to my mind and heart and try to convince her to give this another chance?

 

Thank You.

 

 

save yourself the heartache and move on.

 

this will be the best thing you'll ever do for ur heart. once a cheater, always a cheater. This is something you have to understand.

[lino]

OP, you sound like I used to be until a few months ago. You really have to forget about her, as hard as it is to do. In the future you need to forget about treating girls nicely too, you can see where it's gotten you. Treat em however you want.

[Whyme_wtf]

I have been going through the same thing and way too long.

I still feel the hurt after almost a year. Believe me, no matter what you feel for each other, it will linger there in certain things.

Breaking up is hard, but she did this to you.

Have respect for yourself and end it.

It will be hard, but there are other women out there that will respect you and treat you right.

Good luck, stay strong.

[reboot]

You also need to understand why she still keeps in contact with you. You're the backup while she finds someone new. It strokes her ego to know there's someone out there pining for her. As she moves on with her life, watch her text messages dwindle down to nothing.

[stillafool]

Lonestar23;1336950]

 

While we was on a break she admitted she slept with him. ( don't know if that counts since we were on a break )

 

How long were you broken up (when she ended up sleeping with her ex) and who initiated the breakup? Also it would be helpful if you answered Norajane's questions to give us more information.

[Lonestar23]

What is so damned special about her that you're want her back when she's been screwing around behind your back? I would really like to know what she offers that you can't seem to get out of your head.

 

Is she great in bed?

Do you feel 'hot' when you're with her, because a hot girl likes you?

Does she admire you and make you feel like you're really special?

Are you flattered that she pays attention to you?

Are you afraid you'll never meet anyone else?

 

What is the appeal you can't let go of?

 

Well this is my 2nd serious relationship - I mean most of my relationships never went this far. Besides my first serious one.

 

I guess we have been thru so much together.

 

And I keep trying to save this relationship - because of her.

 

She admitted to me that when 'he' kissed her she felt nothing. And is only thinking of only me even at that time.

 

Is she great bed? mm alright I guess - I only had 1 partner before her. She admitted that I was really good and I did things to her that none of her ex's could ever do.

 

I do feel good when I'm with her not because she's hot. She makes me feel complete. Because I know I can deff get a girl that is more pretty but its not about looks.

 

She does make me feel special at times but she acts immature at times too. She is stubborn and thinks one way at certain times.

 

I admit I like the atten. vs. the single feeling. But that relationship feeling just feels so good.

 

Well - the funny thing is after last nights talk we sort of made up. BUT - this morning she flipped out because after we broke up one of my ex/girls I dated msg me and I msg her back.

 

The girl I dated before basically just found out I was single. And then she just called me up and asked me to go breakfast on sunday morning but I said I don't know, maybe. But end up not going - so as a tease I msg her back saying hey - what happen I thought u was going to wake me up..

 

She saw this and totally flipped out questioning did I even feel sad/depressed about our situation etc. because how can I be flirting with my ex?

 

Its driving me insane I'm starting to feel numb about this.

 

^^ and she got mad over that and now we're like iffy not sure if we are together or not. But I don't know...

[Lonestar23]

How long were you broken up (when she ended up sleeping with her ex) and who initiated the breakup? Also it would be helpful if you answered Norajane's questions to give us more information.

 

We broke up officially Friday - she broke the news to me on a Wednesday night into Thursday morning.

 

She initiated the breakup...

[Lonestar23]

Her ex even contacted me, he even said she wants to be with me and hes out of the picture now. He knows her well because they went out before and she was never over him. But now he even know shes over him. He even told me to go to her and talk it out she wants you back. I was surprised but thats what happened.

[Cobra_X30]

Her ex even contacted me, he even said she wants to be with me and hes out of the picture now. He knows her well because they went out before and she was never over him. But now he even know shes over him. He even told me to go to her and talk it out she wants you back. I was surprised but thats what happened.

 

Do you think that this is the best girl you can get? Do you deserve to be treated like she is treating you?

 

Think long and hard about this! Personally, it kinda sounds like this girl would make a better FWB for you than a GF.

 

I think your getting guilt tripped and controlled in this R, and you need to pull the rug out!

[KingJones]

my brother i went through the same thing last week. Me and my ex broke up on my birthday but i didn't trip and i turned the situation around in my favor. Look man you have to face the facts she's not GF material.

 

Save yourself the time and trouble and just be a FWB. Still get the great sex and cut your heart strings away from her. The sooner you do this the better. But don't go back to her real quick. Don't talk to her for a week it will shock her system. Then hit it and quit it. Whenever you see her have sex with her and leave her. She obviously has a problem with you otherwise she wouldn't have cheated on you. You will never know the real reason she cheated. Once you understand that and realize she's not the last piece out there you'll be straight. Plus after you hit it a few times just as a friend it won't seem so special trust me.

[Lonestar23]

This is not healthy for me. Imma just stop hurting myself. This is so not good for my mental health either.

 

Its been weeks of this pain already. I need to stop this before I have a mental break down or something.

 

 

 

We weren't broken up when she slept w/ her ex. It was when we was on a break and it happen in Aug sometime when I went on a trip to PA with my friends.

[Trialbyfire]

No it's not. It will continue to erode on your self-esteem. Look at you now. You can't even get up the anger to walk away. Do you feel you deserve so little?

[KenzieAbsolutely]

if you really want a relationship that involves the guy she screwed to come along and save it, have at it.

 

my 2 cents is that you consider yourself lucky this happened now and move on.

[Menzer]

Same to me.. Try to learn to respect yourself.

[Lonestar23]

No it's not. It will continue to erode on your self-esteem. Look at you now. You can't even get up the anger to walk away. Do you feel you deserve so little?

 

I don't - I feel for the things I do I deserve so much more. But I can't say goodbye to her for some reason like I am afraid of something.

 

Its not even afraid of being alone as I am alone now. But I can't seem to get from Point A to Point B.

 

I keep fighting with her back and forth over this.

 

Should I just ignore her?

[Trialbyfire]

I don't - I feel for the things I do I deserve so much more. But I can't say goodbye to her for some reason like I am afraid of something.

 

Its not even afraid of being alone as I am alone now. But I can't seem to get from Point A to Point B.

 

I keep fighting with her back and forth over this.

 

Should I just ignore her?

YES!! That's what no contact is. You cease all contact so you have a chance to get your bearings and build your internal strength. It will hurt like the demons at first but it's worth it in the long run.

[mental_traveller]

Been dating this girl for 7 months and can say I feel like I love her

 

People who love their gf say "I love her"; they don't say "I can say I feel like I love her".

 

IMO you are not in love with her, you are just caught up in the moment and feeling in lust. She's cheated on you, the relationship is broken, you should end it. That is all.

[Whyme_wtf]

i have been doing the same thing brother.

walk away and distance yourself and your heart.

[Sal Paradise]

Until you break all contact the pain will continue. She doesn't want to break contact because she wants to string you along while still having the freedom to be with anyone she wants. Then if she decides later she wants to be with you again you will be waiting in the wings. Then she'll get bored and cheat again and you'll be right back where you are now.

 

Go no contact. No instant messaging, no emails, no phone calls, no myspace, nothing. No exceptions either. There is absolutely no reason to be in contact with her. Break off all contact before it gets worse.

[bish]

- Should I stick to my guns and give up and move on 'because the relationship will never be the same.'

 

- Save myself the heartache?

 

OR

 

- Listen to my mind and heart and try to convince her to give this another chance?

 

Thank You.

 

You save yourself the heartache and keep her on the curb where she belongs.

 

You are young and life is to short to put up with a tart like this. Find a decent girl that won't screw you over like that.

 

Because if you were to take her back, you would once in a while be thinking about how she did you dirty. And believe me, thats not good.

 

Just move on and find someone worthy of your affections...because she is definitely not.

[TryingToHeal3]

Forget about that terrible excuse for a GF. I would say differently if this was your wife. But you were only dating her. You are a good person. And you deserve better. Find someone worth loving.