luv4music18 Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 I hate my self b/c never in my life have I've been jealous of someone. I dislike this very much b/c I'm seeing a side of me I've never seen before and I want it to go away. Anyhow, This Ex was my boyfriends FIRST GIRLFRIEND . . . HIS FIRST EVERYTHING ACTUALLY. They are very good friend and they have a lot of things in comment. As for me we don't have that much in comment. I love my honey and I trust him 100% I just don't trust the girl. Who wouldn't right? She's pretty, smart and she just graduated from school. I hate that she's even talking to him and I just want her to go away. I'm scared b/c I've fallen in love before and lost this other person to there EX. I'm scared it would happend again. Also there is this one thing that got me mad. My boyfriend told his ex that I was jealous of her. I didn't understand why he did that and I got mad b/c I didn't want her to know that. She may use that against me or something I don't know. I know one thing she's not a bad person b/c I know my honey will never hang out with someone who treat it him or anyone bad. I just want to make peace and stop being so jealous of this person. Its not like me at all. I tried not thinking about it and I've talked to my honey about it and that didn't go so well. What can I do so I can once again feel like I don't have to be jealous and say to my honey "Ok, go right ahead and talk to her I DON'T CARE" I've achived of not getting mad of the little details but still jealous. I just want her gone but I can't do that. THATS JUST WRONG . . . I would be an evil girlfriend if I would to tell my honey to stop talking to one of his best friends. I know I wouldn't want him to say that to me. I just need help on how to over come this. . . . Help please . . . THANK YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted September 29, 2007 Share Posted September 29, 2007 Patience, and maturity. As time goes by it will become easier to deal with the knowledge that people have pasts. Link to post Share on other sites
popey Posted September 29, 2007 Share Posted September 29, 2007 maybe you and she could become friends, so she's a part of both your lives. Link to post Share on other sites
zilverenvlinder Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I would be unbelievably pissed off at your boyfriend for telling her you were jealous of her. Maybe that's just me, but I would be. I mean, again, and maybe this is just me, but... think about it. Think of your VERY first boyfriend, or the first guy you ever slept with. Would you ever really be genuinely awesome friends with him if you had no feelings for him? I mean, of course you're going to be CIVIL to him if you run into him at a party or a store or something, but are you guys going to talk on the phone like teenagers every night if you didn't want to screw each other again? That's just my input. I would tell your man to limit his contact with this psycho to while you're with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 If she is his EX, why is he associating with her? I don't get the whole bygones be bygones thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Whyme_wtf Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 If she is his EX, why is he associating with her? I don't get the whole bygones be bygones thing. I agree that there is just something not cool about being best friends with an ex when you are trying to have a serious relationship with someone. It is bound to get in the way. I had the same feelings with a girl I fell in love with. Only to find out that this ex b/f now best friend and her were communicating at all hours. She would talk to me on phone and then hang up and talk to him. They had a "slip" and she lied about the date and timing of that "slip" It is so hard to maintain a relationship if there is outside attention. It does not sound like he has lied, so given that all you can do is voice your feelings in a heart to heart. You have a right to your feelings and opinions. If the relationship means the same to him, then he will decide what to do to help it. As for mine, she lied too many times and I just cant get past the trust issue. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t130169/ As another reply here said, be mature and be open to your feelings. Respect your feeling as a person and do not bury them. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Wouldn't it be the same if a MM still was platonic friends with the xOW after the A ended? Link to post Share on other sites
Whyme_wtf Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Wouldn't it be the same if a MM still was platonic friends with the xOW after the A ended? IMO there is only one reason you maintain contact with an ex. If you had children together. You are doing it for the child. The rest of it is just hard to impossible and why put yourself through it. You will never move on. There are valid reasons why you are ex's. No safety net...... Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 IMO there is only one reason you maintain contact with an ex. If you had children together. You are doing it for the child. The rest of it is just hard to impossible and why put yourself through it. You will never move on. There are valid reasons why you are ex's. No safety net...... That's the only reason 2 people as mentioned in this thread should have any contact. Link to post Share on other sites
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