luvmy2ns Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 See.. these are the kinda comments some OW/OM just don't need but I will have to let it be because this is a public forum but really, if no one knows what the other person is going through, it is better to just keep things to yourself. Someone else was on here telling me my relationship was all in my head. What you quoted me as saying was just me giving an example of our life together that an OW, who hangs on for years and years on a false hope, doesn't get. Your situation is not the case. Yours is one of the very, VERY rare cases where a MM actually WAS in it for the relationship and not just a piece on the side. Please note I said that these gals deserve better. I didn't think that was any kind of a bash. Why would you? Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Lyssa, did the wife know you were around, or was it something he hid? If he hid that from her that's when it sucks for her (badly). If he was living on his won waiting for the divorce to go through when you met, it's technically still wrong religiously (but I'm not judging... we all make mistakes... including me), but is a little better than some of the scenarios I hear where the OW knows the wife is being cheated on and lied to and just doesn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 You know... I was going to say something witty and profound, but you changed your avvie, and now I cant remember what I was going to say! Oh come on now... spill it, Cobra.. you know I am fond of witty people... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Someone else was on here telling me my relationship was all in my head. What you quoted me as saying was just me giving an example of our life together that an OW, who hangs on for years and years on a false hope, doesn't get. Your situation is not the case. Yours is one of the very, VERY rare cases where a MM actually WAS in it for the relationship and not just a piece on the side. Please note I said that these gals deserve better. I didn't think that was any kind of a bash. Why would you? Would you agree that what we deserve is often what we demand? Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Would you agree that what we deserve is often what we demand? Absolutely. Hence, when my ex boyfriend (no, never a BS here) was in the beginning stages of sneaking about behind my back, I gave him the boot. Now I'm with a REAL man; one who doesn't believe in cheating; one who would do anything for me, but also wouldn't take any crap off me if I were that type. He said to me once, "It's like you're the female me." So cute! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Lyssa, did the wife know you were around, or was it something he hid? If he hid that from her that's when it sucks for her (badly). If he was living on his won waiting for the divorce to go through when you met, it's technically still wrong religiously (but I'm not judging... we all make mistakes... including me), but is a little better than some of the scenarios I hear where the OW knows the wife is being cheated on and lied to and just doesn't care. No, she didn't know. There were other reasons for their M not working out. She knew something was wrong but didn't do anything to make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 No, she didn't know. There were other reasons for their M not working out. She knew something was wrong but didn't do anything to make it work. Yeah, that sucks. I don't get why he didn't tell her he was through and leave instead of cheating. Do you know why? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Yeah, that sucks. I don't get why he didn't tell her he was through and leave instead of cheating. Do you know why? Had something to do with her past. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Had something to do with her past. Okay. _________________ :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Had something to do with her past. Oh, I have a girlfriend with a "past" problem that affects her marriage! I so feel for her. It involved an uncle, and it was when she was very young. I certainly wouldn't want her hubby to give up on her, but she has to make an effort to get past it, whether it be through counseling or whatever. Certainly, some marriages are bad (bad for one spouse or the other), but judging from what I've read on this forum, I just have to conclude that MOST cheating spouses are only in it for the excitement and newness and, once caught, plead with their marriage partner to let them stay. And the "other" hangs on and on to a hope where, really, no hope exists. Sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Yup, some marriages are bad for the other partner... As for her, she was married 3 times... Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Oh, I have a girlfriend with a "past" problem that affects her marriage! I so feel for her. It involved an uncle, and it was when she was very young. I certainly wouldn't want her hubby to give up on her, but she has to make an effort to get past it, whether it be through counseling or whatever. Certainly, some marriages are bad (bad for one spouse or the other), but judging from what I've read on this forum, I just have to conclude that MOST cheating spouses are only in it for the excitement and newness and, once caught, plead with their marriage partner to let them stay. And the "other" hangs on and on to a hope where, really, no hope exists. Sad. Honestly, people should avoid getting married until they truly know what it means... you never give up on your spouse. If you do, it shows you really didn't love them, and then you never should have married. I truly love my husband with all of my heart. I will always be there for him. The only thing that could destroy that is adultery. I love him so much, that something like that would be just too devastating. I would still love him, but the trust a marriage needs just wouldn't be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Yup, some marriages are bad for the other partner... As for her, she was married 3 times... That doesn't excuse him for not just ending it with her instead of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 receptacle. Another good "R" word for a description. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 When your MM cheats on you, let us know what "needs" he says you aren't fulfilling. REALLY! Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Just keep telling yourself that sweetie...You they say there's a first time for everything... And with your sweet disposition, who could blame him? Green around the gills alittle there, aren't ya, GEL? Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Actually, no... I am aiming for Heaven. Thanks, I just spit cola all over my keyboard! Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Thanks, I do respect myself and yes, I am pretty. Don't forget the bag of chips! Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Thanks, I just spit cola all over my keyboard! Why? _________ Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Just talking about it makes me queasy:sick:... I don't see how they actually do it. Really! It's one thing for a W to unknowingly share, but to know the guy you've been having sex with is going back to his W? Makes me wanna vurp! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 It's hard to have a good debate on this forum... If I was a BS and I just couldn't stand an OW... I would stay away from this forum... because when the bashing starts... it's hard for the BS to hear that their husband like to f*ck another woman, that he gets her nice gifts, money, etc... that she puts sexy lingerie just for him... that they spend a lot of time together...that he fantasizes about her, thinks about her when he makes love to his W... or when he drives to and back from work... The BS hates to hear that her husband might be cheating as we 'post'... that he will, most likely, cheat on her one day. If I was a BS ... I would definitely stay away from this forum... but this is just me. I respect the BS who are respectful to the OW... some are...and they know who they are and I will never be rude or ignorant to them... we are civilized and we sure can have intelligent, mature discussions. As Kasan said.. we can all learn from one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 ... that he will, most likely, cheat on her one day... This comment is just utterly ridiculous. I feel bad that in your experiences, this is all you've seen... there really are good men out there that would never do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 It's hard to have a good debate on this forum... If I was a BS and I just couldn't stand an OW... I would stay away from this forum... because when the bashing starts... it's hard for the BS to hear that their husband like to f*ck another woman, that he gets her nice gifts, money, etc... that she puts sexy lingerie just for him... that they spend a lot of time together...that he fantasizes about her, thinks about her when he makes love to his W... or when he drives to and back from work... The BS hates to hear that her husband might be cheating as we 'post'... that he will, most likely, cheat on her one day. If I was a BS ... I would definitely stay away from this forum... but this is just me. I respect the BS who are respectful to the OW... some are...and they know who they are and I will never be rude or ignorant to them... we are civilized and we sure can have intelligent, mature discussions. As Kasan said.. we can all learn from one another. Respect works both ways. I don't see many OWs who are respectful to a BW, whether it be one on here or the BW of the guy they're screwing. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 This comment is just utterly ridiculous. I feel bad that in your experiences, this is all you've seen... there really are good men out there that would never do this. I feel the same way. There are also MMs who cheat once and never do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 This comment is just utterly ridiculous. I feel bad that in your experiences, this is all you've seen... there really are good men out there that would never do this. but you can count them on one hand... Link to post Share on other sites
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