Jinnah Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Here is Wikipedia's definition of "adultery": Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and one who is not his or her spouse. Some legal jurisdictions have defined it as "crime against marriage",opposed to infidelity.... ...Although the definition of "adultery" differs in nearly every legal system, the common theme is sexual relations outside of marriage, in one form or another. For example, ]New York[ defines an adulterer as a person who "engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse."2 While in North Carolina adultery is when any man and woman "lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together."3]Minnesota defines adultery as: "when a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery".4... Hear that? BOTH are GUILTY. Here's more from Wikipedia: In the ]United States, laws vary from state to state. For example, in [Pennsylvania], adultery is technically punishable by 2 years of imprisonment or 18 months of treatment for insanity (for history, see Hamowy) (criminal statute repealed 1972), while in Michigan] the Court of Appeals, the state's second-highest court, ruled that a little-known provision of state criminal law means that adultery carries a potential life sentence.[2] In Maryland], adultery is punishable by a fine of $10. Infidelity is literally a breach of faith and occurs in a number of contexts (e.g., in religious] contexts). That referred to here is also called cheating] - 'any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship'. What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures], it does not depend on the presence of sexual behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Most people that do the cheating work outside of the home, The ones being cheated on are stay at home spouses. the ones inside the home (majority) do not have the skills to function in society, education, experience, social skills ect. I'll have some of whatever you're smoking! Are you for real? Where do you get your statistics, the Jerry Springer Show? I know women who are attorneys, physicians, executives and yes some SAHM's (albeit with advanced degrees) who have been cheated on, and I've known of some married SAHM's who have cheated on their husbands (who were out "functioning in society". Try again. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I'm sure you still find me "reprehensible" though. Just not sure how your "logic" works? Wrong "R" word. I was thinking more along the lines of "repulsive". Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Most of the time this is the case, most stay at home women know this is the case, so they stay in the marriage. What's your point? It takes TWO to stay in the marriage, so if the cheating husband will only prosper and benefit from divorcing his uneducated, socially unskilled wife, then why doesn't he do it, and fast? Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 What's your point? It takes TWO to stay in the marriage, so if the cheating husband will only prosper and benefit from divorcing his uneducated, socially unskilled wife, then why doesn't he do it, and fast? This is one point that OW's refuse to address. Oh, wait! It's for (lemme see - the list is soooo long) the kids, financial, work, education....... ad nauseum. What it's REALLY about is making his dick feel good and having variety in that area. And there are so many gullible women out there willing to be the receptacle. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I see many BS's here on LoveShack adopt a Victim mentality toward their H's infidelity ("I was a good wife, it was his choice to cheat") and cop a morally superior attitude toward the OW (I don't even want to quote what they say, it's so repulsive). I think this is total bunk. If the BS was keeping her H happy at home, he would not be hitting on the OW. In a M, it takes two to tango. And even if the W was doing everything right at home, and he STILL cheats on her, then she can blame no one but herself for staying in a horrible situation like that. Am I wrong? So, using your logic, if a man has a MID LIFE CRISIS, and he chooses to cheat then it's his wife's fault too? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 ....The only reason I said anything about the stay at home "mom" (in this case) Was to say the person that stays home is the one who uses emotional blackmail to stay married, (and this is only IF someone wants to stay married) Why not toddle on over to the Separation/Divorce board and give those guys an earful then? Tell 'em how it's just not possible that their Stay-At-Home-Wives could possibly be out skankin' it up with some other guy while he's working hard, bringing home the bacon. Tell 'em how their wives ought to be begging them to stay married rather than giving them the old soft-shoe about how she needs some "space", and could he please get his shave-kit and beat feet. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 If she called, would you tell her the truth? Have you discussed that with him? No, I haven't discussed that with MM - he would never presume to advise me on what I should or shouldn't do or say, and knows in any event what that would be! If she asked me, I'd answer her truthfully. But I wouldn't offer any information, not open that conversation myself, as I really don't feel it's my place to break the news to her. It's his. Nice sig, btw - I used have a bumper sticker that said "reunite gondwanaland" back in the days of bumper stickers. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Your not reprehensible. Your human!!! God loves us ALL!!!! Curses! I'd quite taken a liking to the idea. Hmm - perhaps it has sig file potential? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Why not toddle on over to the Separation/Divorce board and give those guys an earful then? Tell 'em how it's just not possible that their Stay-At-Home-Wives could possibly be out skankin' it up with some other guy while he's working hard, bringing home the bacon. Tell 'em how their wives ought to be begging them to stay married rather than giving them the old soft-shoe about how she needs some "space", and could he please get his shave-kit and beat feet. :laugh::laugh:It's sad but so true! Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 No, I haven't discussed that with MM - he would never presume to advise me on what I should or shouldn't do or say, and knows in any event what that would be! If she asked me, I'd answer her truthfully. But I wouldn't offer any information, not open that conversation myself, as I really don't feel it's my place to break the news to her. It's his. Nice sig, btw - I used have a bumper sticker that said "reunite gondwanaland" back in the days of bumper stickers. Oops! You're right; I typed it really fast in response to someone posting something about geology last week, and I got it wrong in my haste. I'd better correct it because it's funnier that way. /TJ Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Here is Wikipedia's definition of "adultery": Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and one who is not his or her spouse. Some legal jurisdictions have defined it as "crime against marriage",opposed to infidelity.... ...Although the definition of "adultery" differs in nearly every legal system, the common theme is sexual relations outside of marriage, in one form or another. For example, ]New York[ defines an adulterer as a person who "engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse."2 While in North Carolina adultery is when any man and woman "lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together."3]Minnesota defines adultery as: "when a married woman has sexual intercourse with a man other than her husband, whether married or not, both are guilty of adultery".4... Hear that? BOTH are GUILTY. Here's more from Wikipedia: In the ]United States, laws vary from state to state. For example, in [Pennsylvania], adultery is technically punishable by 2 years of imprisonment or 18 months of treatment for insanity (for history, see Hamowy) (criminal statute repealed 1972), while in Michigan] the Court of Appeals, the state's second-highest court, ruled that a little-known provision of state criminal law means that adultery carries a potential life sentence.[2] In Maryland], adultery is punishable by a fine of $10. Infidelity is literally a breach of faith and occurs in a number of contexts (e.g., in religious] contexts). That referred to here is also called cheating] - 'any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship'. What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures], it does not depend on the presence of sexual behaviour. Thank you for clearing this up for everyone... I'm sure that now all the OW will pack it up and mend their ways... Link to post Share on other sites
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Thank you for clearing this up for everyone... I'm sure that now all the OW will pack it up and mend their ways... There I was looking on Loveshack when it was Wikipedia I should have looked on to mend my ways... Sorry Jinnah, it is a blanket statement - where are the emotional affairs on there? If Wikipedia doesn't mention EA's does that mean they dont exist? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 There I was looking on Loveshack when it was Wikipedia I should have looked on to mend my ways... Sorry Jinnah, it is a blanket statement - where are the emotional affairs on there? If Wikipedia doesn't mention EA's does that mean they dont exist? So are we suppose to rely on Wikipedia? On all matters?? If that is the case then, I'm not going to bother with Wikipedia. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 What's your point? It takes TWO to stay in the marriage, so if the cheating husband will only prosper and benefit from divorcing his uneducated, socially unskilled wife, then why doesn't he do it, and fast? Good point. I remember my own father telling me once during a transitional period in my own marriage: “Never underestimate how much it means to a man just knowing that there’s a good woman waiting for him at home.” He’s one of those old-fashioned, traditional, machismo sort of guys ... who was quite the skirt-chaser in his twenties when he was young and my folks were first married. I usually retreat and roll my eyes when he volunteers his often chauvinistic flavored “words of wisdom.” But curiously, as it turns out, the ol’ man was more right than wrong. And I’ve seen the evidence of that, time and time again. If the BS was keeping her H happy at home, he would not be hitting on the OW. As far as “keeping your man happy” ... I think a lot of women assume that equates only to staying young and beautiful forever, and being a nympho in the bedroom at his beck and call. And that’s an easy assumption to make given that’s the message we are receiving from a good majority of men (and the media) ... Not to mention it taps into our own insecurities as females and resonates with us the loudest. Particular when your married affair partner is playing on your sympathies (and ego) with the: “My wife is frigid, fat and uncaring.” Add to the fact, that while in your presence, he seems to regard his wife as little more than a housekeeper, day care provider, chauffeur, cook, roommate and surrogate mother figure (momma’s boy anyone?) ... it’s no wonder some of you ladies are all confused and receiving mixed messages when it comes to just how much “value” you have, compared to the wife’s, in the eyes of that married man. It’s fool-hearty for any woman, I don’t care how beautiful and magnificent she is, to underestimate how important the safety, familiarity and “comforts of HOME” are to a man. His extended family, children, mutual friends, reputation as father and respected family man, shared history AND ... need I say ... financial security. That’s why, even if you are fortunate enough to convince them to run away with you, a large majority of them get homesick and usually end up going back. Am I wrong? Perhaps a just a bit over confident and a little naive. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! Only time will tell (with this particular married individual) whether or not your female intuitions, when it comes to men and relationships, need a little re-adjusting. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 It’s fool-hearty for any woman, I don’t care how beautiful and magnificent she is, to underestimate how important the safety, familiarity and “comforts of HOME” are to a man. His extended family, children, mutual friends, reputation as father and respected family man, shared history AND ... need I say ... financial security. *GASP* I can't believe I'm actually reading this correctly...Someone besides the OW giving credence to the argument? Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I didn't know I was going to have to spell it out for you more than I already did... wow! The point in posting that was to show that all the people who believe adultery is wrong are not in the minority... the OM/OW are the minority. It's in the dictionary where educated people look... oh now I see why you didn't understand! JeNeRegretteRien- Um, I guess if I would have either a) typed it in or b) copy and pasted the whole article, you might have read about EA, huh? Actually, I do recall the part that I did post saying it wasn't only physical, actually. Maybe you should have read it first before responding. I understand why certain people would not bother with a dictionary... they would like to remain uneducated. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I didn't know I was going to have to spell it out for you more than I already did... wow! The point in posting that was to show that all the people who believe adultery is wrong are not in the minority... the OM/OW are the minority. It's in the dictionary where educated people look... oh now I see why you didn't understand! JeNeRegretteRien- Um, I guess if I would have either a) typed it in or b) copy and pasted the whole article, you might have read about EA, huh? Actually, I do recall the part that I did post saying it wasn't only physical, actually. Maybe you should have read it first before responding. I understand why certain people would not bother with a dictionary... they would like to remain uneducated. That's a great argument, EDUCATED people look in the dictionary... That shows just how educated you are... Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Good point. I remember my own father telling me once during a transitional period in my own marriage: “Never underestimate how much it means to a man just knowing that there’s a good woman waiting for him at home.” ... ...It’s fool-hearty for any woman, I don’t care how beautiful and magnificent she is, to underestimate how important the safety, familiarity and “comforts of HOME” are to a man. His extended family, children, mutual friends, reputation as father and respected family man, shared history AND ... need I say ... financial security. That’s why, even if you are fortunate enough to convince them to run away with you, a large majority of them get homesick and usually end up going back. This is great. We could use you over on the "Why?" thread in the infidelity section if you have the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 That's a great argument, EDUCATED people look in the dictionary... That shows just how educated you are... That went way over your head, didn't it? Yes, instead of just spewing out nonsense, I like to give factual information so it will not be "just my opinion". My opinions are educated and thought-out... it's nice that they can actually be backed up with factual information. You are a good sport though. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 That's a great argument, EDUCATED people look in the dictionary... That shows just how educated you are... :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 :lmao: Following the crowd off the side of a cliff, are we? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 :lmao: I love the reason for edit... Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 This is great. We could use you over on the "Why?" thread in the infidelity section if you have the time. Shoot. I’m just a blabber mouth with too much time and waaaay too many personal “opinions.” Besides, one more post, and I’m back to being addicted to this d*mn forum. Moderation! Moderation! Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Oh well, I don't think I'd be able to follow the 'educated' crowd... Link to post Share on other sites
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