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To The BS's - Don't Blame The OW


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Excuse me, you must have me confused with someone else. I do not tolarate personal attacks, if you disagree with my statement so be it.

I am not on this board to argue intelligence with you.

 

Actually, you had this superior attitude (or whatever you want to call it) when addressing me when you somehow jumped to the conclusion that I was not blaming the MP, just the OM/OW.

 

... so you can disagree with me, but make sure you know what you are disagreeing with.... thanks.

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GreenEyedLady

I don't see where blame gets anyone, anyway...It's really just an excuse to not deal with the real problem...

 

It diverts attention from the source that truly needs it...

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Well, that's what I mean... I never did place a percentage of blame, but I guess if I have to, I'll just say the married person (MP) is 100% responsible, and the OW/OM is also 100% responsible (unless they did not know they were married) for being involved w/ a MP.

 

Yes Jinnah! You didnt put an exact percentage on paper... but if I were to have taken a guess based on what you have said previously... it would have been very close to what you just stated.

 

Not to nitpick, but 100% and 100%, well, thats basically two seperate pies of blame... which I think is on the right track!

 

Tell me this. Which one of the two swore an oath someone? MM? or OW?

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you say Tomato I say Tamato..or what ever

 

 

 

 

well I don't so I will continue to talk non-sense

Funny once again... I missed this one

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I don't see where blame gets anyone, anyway...It's really just an excuse to not deal with the real problem...

 

It diverts attention from the source that truly needs it...

 

Exactly. Where does blaming the OW get anyone? How does that fix their marriage or what was wrong with it?

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Tell me this. Which one of the two swore an oath someone? MM? or OW?

So are you saying that as a single guy you think it would be ok to do some other guys wife since you swore no oath to anyone?

 

If not, what's the point of the question?

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GreenEyedLady
Exactly. Where does blaming the OW get anyone? How does that fix their marriage or what was wrong with it?

 

It only gets the cheater back in his W's good graces, so she'll get off his back sooner rather than later, and he can try and pick the A up again when she'll be less supspicious...

 

Whew! That was a long ol' sentence...

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Yes Jinnah! You didnt put an exact percentage on paper... but if I were to have taken a guess based on what you have said previously... it would have been very close to what you just stated.

 

Not to nitpick, but 100% and 100%, well, thats basically two seperate pies of blame... which I think is on the right track!

 

Tell me this. Which one of the two swore an oath someone? MM? or OW?

 

Yes, I realize that Cobra, and almost stated as much but thought you would understand anyway... it is possible for two people to be 100% responsible for a misdeed... it's called personal responsibility.

 

As far as the swearing and the oath and all that... that is why he is 100% responsible. Is this going to go on all day?

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lovernotafighter
So are you saying that as a single guy you think it would be ok to do some other guys wife since you swore no oath to anyone?

 

If not, what's the point of the question?

 

well your a man..would you?

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I don't see where blame gets anyone, anyway...It's really just an excuse to not deal with the real problem...

 

It diverts attention from the source that truly needs it...

 

Blame? Perhaps a better term for what we are discussing is responsibility.

 

And it goes directly to the heart of the matter! Who needs to accept responsibility!

 

Your assumption here is that people cheat due to marital problems. Thats not true!

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well your a man..would you?
Well, I guess I can't answer that, because apparently I'm not a real man, else I'd be banging every woman in the office instead of going home to my wife.
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So are you saying that as a single guy you think it would be ok to do some other guys wife since you swore no oath to anyone?

 

If not, what's the point of the question?

 

 

Yeah, I was about to ask which side of the fence he is on anyway, but I am starting to lose interest here...

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It only gets the cheater back in his W's good graces, so she'll get off his back sooner rather than later, and he can try and pick the A up again when she'll be less supspicious...

 

Whew! That was a long ol' sentence...

 

 

... and as the OW, you would allow that, wouldn't you?:rolleyes::sick:

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Blame? Perhaps a better term for what we are discussing is responsibility.

 

And it goes directly to the heart of the matter! Who needs to accept responsibility!

 

Your assumption here is that people cheat due to marital problems. Thats not true!

 

Not really. In Jinnah's case, it is all about the blame. Also, "YES" when people cheat is is because there are problems in the marital relationship. People in perfectly happy marriages where both partners are content and fulfilled don't cheat. You can trust me on that.

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Yes, I realize that Cobra, and almost stated as much but thought you would understand anyway... it is possible for two people to be 100% responsible for a misdeed... it's called personal responsibility.

 

As far as the swearing and the oath and all that... that is why he is 100% responsible. Is this going to go on all day?

 

Yes but we are talking about shared responsibility are we not? Ultimate responsibilty!

 

Who takes ultimate responsibility?

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... and as the OW, you would allow that, wouldn't you?:rolleyes::sick:

...yet you swear you are first... yeah, first to blame.

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GreenEyedLady
So are you saying that as a single guy you think it would be ok to do some other guys wife since you swore no oath to anyone?

 

If not, what's the point of the question?

 

Would it be ok? That is an interesting question...Why is the burden on a stranger? Shouldn't the burden be on the person who has sworn their life to another? A single hasn't sworn anything to anyone, yet they're held to a higher standard?

 

I think it's not a good idea, period...But what if you don't know they're married? Then you find out when you're in the R...you've already done the deed a hundred times...if you get out of it, then you're ok? and if you stay, you're not ok? You've already been intimate, how does knowledge change that fact?

 

I think it's just the splitting of hairs...Adultery is not good and hurts people-everyone involved...but the fact is that it happens everyday...whether it's right or wrong, really has very little to do with it...

 

The way to stop adultery is for married people to not cheat...end of story...not displace blame to someone else...

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Not really. In Jinnah's case, it is all about the blame. Also, "YES" when people cheat is is because there are problems in the marital relationship. People in perfectly happy marriages where both partners are content and fulfilled don't cheat. You can trust me on that.

I agree with the statement about the reason people cheat for the most part, but I'm hearing on another thread that there are just serial cheaters that will cheat no matter how great the spouse is.

 

As far as the first statement... what the heck are you talking about... "in Jinnah's case?"... what do you know about that?

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lovernotafighter
Well, I guess I can't answer that, because apparently I'm not a real man, else I'd be banging every woman in the office instead of going home to my wife.

 

I would say your not a real man but that does probably put you in the minority and not majority..

 

I get hit on all the time..most are married men, after the math in my world I'd say cheating is on the up swing

 

 

... and as the OW, you would allow that, wouldn't you?:rolleyes::sick:

 

 

I love my MM so I did..kay?

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Very hard to see what is the point of this discussion.

 

However, if the WS is 100% responsible for cheating, then how can the OW/OM also be a part of that? Surely the WS is 100% responsible for their actions. A WS is entirely responsible for cheating on their spouse.

 

Yes, an OW/OM is also 100% responsible for their own actions in being involved with a MP (assuming they know the person is married). But of what importance is that to the WS, in respect of their own marriage..?

 

As has been stated, it's the WS that the BS is married to. And he or she bears 100% of responsibility for cheating. Why interest yourself in the life of the OP..? Surely what matters is that someone who made vows to you has broken them, and they are responsible.

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Yes but we are talking about shared responsibility are we not? Ultimate responsibilty!

 

Who takes ultimate responsibility?

 

 

Actually, we are supposed to be talking about OW who swear they aren't to blame... who say the BS shouldn't blame them.

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Well, I guess I can't answer that, because apparently I'm not a real man, else I'd be banging every woman in the office instead of going home to my wife.

 

Well, with your wife I may actually recommend that! But thats a different thread

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But what if you don't know they're married? Then you find out when you're in the R...you've already done the deed a hundred times...
And as everyone has said 1000 times in this thread already...

 

that's

 

different

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