Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Would it be ok? That is an interesting question...Why is the burden on a stranger? Shouldn't the burden be on the person who has sworn their life to another? A single hasn't sworn anything to anyone, yet they're held to a higher standard? I think it's not a good idea, period...But what if you don't know they're married? Then you find out when you're in the R...you've already done the deed a hundred times...if you get out of it, then you're ok? and if you stay, you're not ok? You've already been intimate, how does knowledge change that fact? I think it's just the splitting of hairs...Adultery is not good and hurts people-everyone involved...but the fact is that it happens everyday...whether it's right or wrong, really has very little to do with it... The way to stop adultery is for married people to not cheat...end of story...not displace blame to someone else... Is this what happened to you? You didn't know until after the fact? Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I would say your not a real man but that does probably put you in the minority and not majority.. I get hit on all the time..most are married men, after the math in my world I'd say cheating is on the up swing I love my MM so I did..kay? bad typo on my part reboot, sorry, I mean that your not NOT a real man..I was being insulting, though thats how my post sounded, sorry Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Actually, we are supposed to be talking about OW who swear they aren't to blame... who say the BS shouldn't blame them. If we accept that each person is responsible for their own actions (which surely we do..?), then how can an OW be 'to blame' for a man cheating on his W..? Or are you really throwing out completely the idea of personal responsibility? The OW is responsible for getting involved with a MM. She can't be held responsible for the actions of that man in cheating. That's completely on him. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Not really. In Jinnah's case, it is all about the blame. Also, "YES" when people cheat is is because there are problems in the marital relationship. People in perfectly happy marriages where both partners are content and fulfilled don't cheat. You can trust me on that. People cheat when they choose to cheat. Nobody holds a gun to thier head! I've seen poeple cheat in what should be very happy marriages.... because its an internal problem manifesting itself externally. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 bad typo on my part reboot, sorry, I mean that your not NOT a real man..I was being insulting, though thats how my post sounded, sorry did you mean...NOT being insulting? having a little trouble today? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Well, I guess I can't answer that, because apparently I'm not a real man, else I'd be banging every woman in the office instead of going home to my wife. I think I missed where someone said you weren't a real man? Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 ...I get hit on all the time..most are married men, after the math in my world I'd say cheating is on the up swing... ...I love my MM so I did..kay? ... yeah gross... ...and gross... Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I agree with the statement about the reason people cheat for the most part, but I'm hearing on another thread that there are just serial cheaters that will cheat no matter how great the spouse is. As far as the first statement... what the heck are you talking about... "in Jinnah's case?"... what do you know about that? I know all your posts on this thread have the word "blame" in them. I'm just showing off my lofty reading skills. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Very hard to see what is the point of this discussion. However, if the WS is 100% responsible for cheating, then how can the OW/OM also be a part of that? Surely the WS is 100% responsible for their actions. A WS is entirely responsible for cheating on their spouse. Yes, an OW/OM is also 100% responsible for their own actions in being involved with a MP (assuming they know the person is married). But of what importance is that to the WS, in respect of their own marriage..? As has been stated, it's the WS that the BS is married to. And he or she bears 100% of responsibility for cheating. Why interest yourself in the life of the OP..? Surely what matters is that someone who made vows to you has broken them, and they are responsible. Yeah, but if there were less women out there letting a MP have sex with them, adultery wouldn't be as common and a lot less people would get hurt... so these comments don't change anything. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Ok, I saw the above, strike my last post...carry on... Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 People cheat when they choose to cheat. Nobody holds a gun to thier head! I've seen poeple cheat in what should be very happy marriages.... because its an internal problem manifesting itself externally. Where ever the problem orriginates, it involves teh two people in the marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean the BS bares any fault, but the cheater is for some reason not fulfilled by the relationship. Therefore, there are problems in the marriage. It's basic "Adultry 101." Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I know all your posts on this thread have the word "blame" in them. I'm just showing off my lofty reading skills. And comprehension... Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I know all your posts on this thread have the word "blame" in them. I'm just showing off my lofty reading skills. ...then I guess you don't have lofty reading skills b/c all my posts don't have the word blame in them. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Actually, we are supposed to be talking about OW who swear they aren't to blame... who say the BS shouldn't blame them. Dodge the question? No we are talking about who YOU blame when your Ex H cheats on you! Your H swore an oath to YOU! OW didnt! Now that doesnt make the fact that she had a hand in hurting you ok. But YOU need to understand who has to accept responsibility and blame for what occured! Yes, the buck stops right at his feet, all of it! Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Where ever the problem orriginates, it involves teh two people in the marriage. It doesn't necessarily mean the BS bares any fault, but the cheater is for some reason not fulfilled by the relationship. Therefore, there are problems in the marriage. It's basic "Adultry 101." And I think that just because someone on the outside thinks the marriage should be happy, doesn't mean it's actually like that on the inside... Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 did you mean...NOT being insulting? having a little trouble today? ahh at least I apologised typo or not, he got the point thanks typo police for pointing that out Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Well, with your wife I may actually recommend that! But thats a different threadExcept I firmly believe that two wrongs never make a right. I suppose I could be an ass and point out that you don't really know my wife and have no business talking about her, but since your opinion of neither her nor me really matters in the overall scheme of things, I'll simply say Touche Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 ... yeah gross... ...and gross... why? you never had group sex before or something? you my dear have robbed yourself of quite the experience;) Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 thanks typo police for pointing that out Geez, and I thought we only had to worry about the morality police! Now we have the typo fuzz to worry about too?! Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Yeah, but if there were less women out there letting a MP have sex with them, adultery wouldn't be as common and a lot less people would get hurt... so these comments don't change anything. Hmm which is easier... get a husband who can control himself, or try to control the billions of women on the planet..? The cheater is still 100% responsible for their own actions in cheating on their spouse. That is true whichever way you slice it or dice it, and however many come backs you stage. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I think I missed where someone said you weren't a real man?There's no smilie here that means "dripping sarcasm" or I would have used it in that post. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Geez, and I thought we only had to worry about the morality police! Now we have the typo fuzz to worry about too?! Let's not forget the spelling Bee's too, can't forget them GEL Link to post Share on other sites
Jinnah Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Dodge the question? No we are talking about who YOU blame when your Ex H cheats on you! Your H swore an oath to YOU! OW didnt! Now that doesnt make the fact that she had a hand in hurting you ok. But YOU need to understand who has to accept responsibility and blame for what occured! Yes, the buck stops right at his feet, all of it! I didn't dodge any question... I just didn't find it significant enought to answer in the scheme of things... ...but since you persist, I will. Actually, I didn't give a crap that my ex-h cheated (with the porn) or if he actually did physically... I hated him after all the abuse... so that was my way our (religiously). However, if he did... yeah he's 100% to blame. The questionable OW would be to blame as well b/c she shouldn't have slept with him if she knew he was married... 1)b/c she should feel bad about doing that to another woman and 2) b/c she should have more respect for herself for crying out loud! But, whatever... who cares about my old situation... I don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Except I firmly believe that two wrongs never make a right. I suppose I could be an ass and point out that you don't really know my wife and have no business talking about her, but since your opinion of neither her nor me really matters in the overall scheme of things, I'll simply say Touche LOL... way to point that out and not be too offensive! Yeah, your right. Two negatives dont make a positive... unless your multiplying! Ultimately its your call. I'm just saying were we to trade places... I would put the boot part of reboot to good use! Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Hmm which is easier... get a husband who can control himself, or try to control the billions of women on the planet..? The cheater is still 100% responsible for their own actions in cheating on their spouse. That is true whichever way you slice it or dice it, and however many come backs you stage. Cmon, you know it is actually way easier to control billions of women on the planet! I mean we are talking about one male! What's the bigger challenge? **INSERT MAJOR SARCASM HERE!** Link to post Share on other sites
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