Author OpenBook Posted September 30, 2007 Author Share Posted September 30, 2007 I honestly think that if you realize he's M after the fact, then you still have a responsibility to yourself, to respect yourself enough to get out of the A. A person can do better than someone else's spouse. It's perposterous to even try and make excuses to why you should stay in a relationship with a MP. If he/she was a decent person themselves, they'd have gotten a D and then went searching for another "mate". JMO This advice is richly ironic, coming from a BS herself. So are you saying your H is not a decent person?? JMO Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted September 30, 2007 Share Posted September 30, 2007 I still believe in sme instances that some men and wome women can not be monogomous. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted September 30, 2007 Share Posted September 30, 2007 Obviously you're right. And that's ok... until they marry someone who expects they will be so... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted September 30, 2007 Share Posted September 30, 2007 Obviously you're right. And that's ok... until they marry someone who expects they will be so... and when they can't... that is when all hell breaks loose... Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 again only looking at this from your point of view. i do have people I know and have known who've been through this. I'm not biased because I'm a former BW. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 This advice is richly ironic, coming from a BS herself. So are you saying your H is not a decent person?? JMO He wasn't then, by all means. He had to learn some hard lessons. He should have kept it in his pants, and at home, and the xOW should have found herself a SG and she wouldn't have had to deal with getting dumped by a MM. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I still believe in sme instances that some men and wome women can not be monogomous. Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. Some men and women find it impossible to be monogomous. I know a few myself, unfortunately. None of them are worth pi*ssing on if they were on fire, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 and when they can't... that is when all hell breaks loose... Both Pricillia and reboot are right. What doesn't make sense is why the ones who M and know they won't be faithful to that person, bother to M anyway? That's just stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Both Pricillia and reboot are right. What doesn't make sense is why the ones who M and know they won't be faithful to that person, bother to M anyway? That's just stupid. Exactly! I would have NEVER M my H if I thought he would be unfaithful, that is just stupid. Hal H didn't have an A until about 12 years into their M, right hal? And my H didn't have an A until 11 years into our M. Link to post Share on other sites
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Both Pricillia and reboot are right. What doesn't make sense is why the ones who M and know they won't be faithful to that person, bother to M anyway? That's just stupid. I agree HAL, I dont know why people would enter into a contract of faithfulness when they KNOW they aren't going to be faithful. But how many of them know this? My MM was 19, at that point he thought he was going to be faithful. Just like I thought I would never embark on an affair with a married man. But sometimes, the conclusion when you embark on something are not staring you in the face. My MM did not know that he would change over the years. I did not know that my MM would prolong an affair with me. Unfortunately, hindsight may be a wonderful thing but it is certainly not available in the present tense. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 JNRR - I agree with you on that. I don't think a lot of people know in advance how they are going to end up. It's not like you can look into the future and avoid being something you don't want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 But you can look at the present and avoid being something you don't want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I honestly think that if you realize he's M after the fact, then you still have a responsibility to yourself, to respect yourself enough to get out of the A. A person can do better than someone else's spouse. It's perposterous to even try and make excuses to why you should stay in a relationship with a MP. If he/she was a decent person themselves, they'd have gotten a D and then went searching for another "mate". JMO I totally agree with this. Also why can't we women learn to respect each other. This whole self-entitlement thing has gotten way out of hand. I think this is one reason why men aren't showing women as much respect as they use to because women will not respect themselves or each other. It is totally unrespectful to seek the attention of someone else's husband, period. There are no good excuses to continue such a relationship once you find out this man is married. Why would a woman want to lower herself to the level of a mistress? Don't they feel they deserve more? Don't they want to be the 1st lady? Is it fun to sit around waiting for sloppy seconds? Women please, wake up! Don't be so desperate for a man that you would do anything (no matter how despicable it is) to have him. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I totally agree with this. Also why can't we women learn to respect each other. This whole self-entitlement thing has gotten way out of hand. I think this is one reason why men aren't showing women as much respect as they use to because women will not respect themselves or each other. I think society has a whole is much more selfish now than it was 10-20 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I totally agree with this. Also why can't we women learn to respect each other. This whole self-entitlement thing has gotten way out of hand. I think this is one reason why men aren't showing women as much respect as they use to because women will not respect themselves or each other. It is totally unrespectful to seek the attention of someone else's husband, period. There are no good excuses to continue such a relationship once you find out this man is married. Why would a woman want to lower herself to the level of a mistress? Don't they feel they deserve more? Don't they want to be the 1st lady? Is it fun to sit around waiting for sloppy seconds? Women please, wake up! Don't be so desperate for a man that you would do anything (no matter how despicable it is) to have him. well said. you are in no way a fool! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Don't they feel they deserve more? Don't they want to be the 1st lady? Is it fun to sit around waiting for sloppy seconds? Some of us are not getting "sloppy seconds", we're getting it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I wonder if I met a divorced man and I wasn't an OW - would that make him a sloppy seconds too? Link to post Share on other sites
jj2007 Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I see many BS's here on LoveShack adopt a Victim mentality toward their H's infidelity ("I was a good wife, it was his choice to cheat") and cop a morally superior attitude toward the OW (I don't even want to quote what they say, it's so repulsive). I think this is total bunk. If the BS was keeping her H happy at home, he would not be hitting on the OW. In a M, it takes two to tango. And even if the W was doing everything right at home, and he STILL cheats on her, then she can blame no one but herself for staying in a horrible situation like that. Am I wrong? Yes you are wrong but you are entitled to your own opinion. It is NO ONE ELSES responsibility to make someone happy. We are responsible for our own happiness and to say that a wife is obligated to "keep her man happy" is just bunk to me. There are NO EXCUSES FOR CHEATING. EVER. The MM chose to cheat. He is to blame. The OW who knew he was married and still slept with him (some even married themselves) are equally to blame for the destruction of both families. The OW who were led on are being fed the same **** the BS is. Most BS's place the majority of the blame where it is due anyway-Their spouse that was cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I wonder if I met a divorced man and I wasn't an OW - would that make him a sloppy seconds too? The term sloppy seconds is usually applied towards women who are sleeping with more than one man, at the same time. Use your imagination as to why it's applicable... If you were seeing a divorced man, he would not be sleeping concurrently with multiple women unless your relationship is one of non-exclusivity. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I wonder if I met a divorced man and I wasn't an OW - would that make him a sloppy seconds too? No, because he is divorced and doesn't have a wife waiting for him to come home. A divorced person IS free to do what they want. Just like a single person who is involved with someone who is divorced, they are FREE and have no spouse to go home to. But, if you are married and seeing an OM who is divorced then yeah, you are his sloppy seconds because he settling to BE with a married woman. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 The OW who knew he was married and still slept with him (some even married themselves) are equally to blame for the destruction of both families And, the OW is also to blame when and IF the affair ends, she can't turn around and blame the MM for everything. It's called taking responsibility for your actions and BEING accountable to them. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 I see many BS's here on LoveShack adopt a Victim mentality toward their H's infidelity ("I was a good wife, it was his choice to cheat") and cop a morally superior attitude toward the OW Well...uh...ya. And???? Who do you think has a better sense of morality? A woman who is married to a lousy husband? Or a woman that sleeps with other woman's husbands? I think this is total bunk. If the BS was keeping her H happy at home, he would not be hitting on the OW. Uh..did it ever occur to you that the man is just a plain old dog and he'll go out and smooth talk any woman to get her in to bed? I agree that a BS shouldn't blame the OW/OM...because it is their MM/MW's problem that they are cheaters...but it doesn't mitigate the lousy behavior of the people sleeping with other people's spouses. In a M, it takes two to tango. And even if the W was doing everything right at home, and he STILL cheats on her, then she can blame no one but herself for staying in a horrible situation like that. Am I wrong? yes, you are wrong...because you are basically saying that OW/OM have a right to other people's spouses. I would never assume that because a woman is in hell with her husband at home that it gives me a green light to get her in bed. I have even been approached by the wife of another man and told her it aint happening, and that I didn't approve of her behavior. yes, the MM/MW is the most to blame....but a BS is justified in feeling animosity for someone that doesn't give a crap about who they hurt just so they can sleep with their spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 "We live in a society that is has become nearly incapable of independent thought." I don't get it. You don't think there's anything wrong with this sentence? He probably thought to say "society that is nearly incapable", or thought to say "society that has become nearly incapable"...and just simply typed both words in while typing fast. I'm sure he knows how to form a perfectly proper sentence....are you assuming he isn't? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Some of us are not getting "sloppy seconds", we're getting it all. Okay. But, why not seek your own man and not someone else's husband? Is this something that you feel proud of? Do you feel proud of your relationship with him? My statement was to women in general. Why are women so disrespectful of each other? If your MM leaves his wife and comes to you is it okay for him to see other women? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 1, 2007 Share Posted October 1, 2007 Oh hell no THAT wouldn't be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
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