I need some advice

[jlm]

I need some advice, i been with my other half for 7 years. we recently got married. we have 2 children and i recently found out we are having another one, 6 months after we got married my husband best friends wife told me two years after my husband started dating he cheated on me with a girl from work, the cheating went on for about a week, accordinging to the person that told me they did everything but sleep together. Not to mention, after this all happened they stayed friends for 2 years and he kept going to her house after work to visit her. I found a receipt in his bilfold for flowers a year later, we all this finally came out he said that he bought them to say he was sorry for the situation, can you believe he said sorry to her. he got phone calls on his cell phone and said that they were the wrong number and he wasn't gong to answer them. All the signs were there i don't know why i didn't know i just trusted him. Now he says he just wants his wife, but the only reason that he hasen't talk to her in 2 years is because she went to college. i called her and talk to her but she doesn't want to get him into anymore trouble. i really need some advice on what to do, we even moved out of state to try to make things work, but i can't forget. i feel that i didn't marry the person i thought he was, getting married was important to me and those vows meant somthing, but i feel he lied at the alter with all the secrets he hid. When i tried to leave my kids got upset that daddy wasn't going to come with us. if i go back to my home state they will be 9 hrs away from there dad, and i want him to be able to see his children. All i want is my kids to be happy, but i don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life with a guy that was unfaithful. the only reason he is not with her is because i have his kids, and she recently got engage to a man that looks like my husband and just guess how she got that one, yep he had a girlfriend. i think she learned all this stuff from her mom, her mom new that my other half had a girlfriend and a child and another on the way and she still let her do what she did. Please someone give me some good advice she i move on with my husband or should i leave him? thanks for your help

[Tony T]

I think you need to see some vast improvement in your husband and a committment from him to make the marriage work and be faithful to you. This may be accomplished by a lot of meaningful communication between the two of you and professional counselling. You may need counselling by a competent therapist in order to learn communication skills. That person can also mediate a discussion of just why this cheating took place and help both of you ascertain if it would ever happen again.

 

Give it another chance. You do have the power to forgive and forget if you desire.

 

If this memory continues to overpower you after you've given it your best shot, then for your own sake you'll have to leave and move on. You cannot subject your children to the heartache you choose to continue to sustain forever.

 

I also think you should remove your husband's best friend's wife from your families list of people you have anything to do with. Though she did not cause you this heartbreak, she made a significant contribution.

 

Work hard to become a healthy family or just plain leave. But try your best to put it together first.