Author lost4ever Posted October 4, 2007 Author Share Posted October 4, 2007 He doesn't ask for a hug, he just does it, as soon as I walk in he hugs me, and when I go to leave he hugs me, and tells me I'm so pretty and special, and smart...whatever, I don't need some old guy that doesn't know me to tell me how special and pretty and smart I am, If I don't believe it, he is not going to make me change my mind, It is just dumb...I can't really explain on here what bugs me becuase then I have to air all the dirty laundry and though I love you guys, really don't want everyone in the world to know. Link to post Share on other sites
TogetherForever Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 He doesn't ask for a hug, he just does it, as soon as I walk in he hugs me, and when I go to leave he hugs me, and tells me I'm so pretty and special, and smart...whatever, I don't need some old guy that doesn't know me to tell me how special and pretty and smart I am, If I don't believe it, he is not going to make me change my mind, It is just dumb...I can't really explain on here what bugs me becuase then I have to air all the dirty laundry and though I love you guys, really don't want everyone in the world to know. lost, What does IC stand for? :oTF Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 4, 2007 Author Share Posted October 4, 2007 Individual Counseling Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 He doesn't ask for a hug, he just does it, as soon as I walk in he hugs me, and when I go to leave he hugs me, and tells me I'm so pretty and special, and smart...whatever, I don't need some old guy that doesn't know me to tell me how special and pretty and smart I am, If I don't believe it, he is not going to make me change my mind, It is just dumb...I can't really explain on here what bugs me becuase then I have to air all the dirty laundry and though I love you guys, really don't want everyone in the world to know. Yeah, no need to air dirty laundry. I'm just going to say this therapist is creepy! I don't think your going to get any help from him. I have had some bad experiences in therapy. So when I say... consider finding a different one... I'm coming from experience. A bad one can do more harm than good! Nobody, and I mean nobody should be touching you without your express permission! Link to post Share on other sites
upto_here Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I am not there. I live on my own, He just comes over everyday (and no I do not call him to come over) Here is an example of how my life goes... I wake up, Leave for work at 7:00, I get a text message at 7:30 every morning: Hi, Have a good day. 1.) If I text anything back: you to, how are things, (anything) he calls me to meet him for lunch so we can talk. a.) If I go to lunch, I hear he can not forgive me for what I did and I should just leave him alone b.) If I don't go, I hear I am a stupid whore and that my boyfriend must be in town 2.) If I ignore it (text): when I get home from work he comes over to ask me what my damn problem is, just because we are getting a divorce doesn't mean I have to ignore him and this goes on day in day out, no matter what I do, I am emotionally damaging him. I tell him he needs to have no contact with me until he can figure out how he wants to handle this, he doesn't I'm nice to him and let him hang out all the time, he gets clingy one min. angry the next.. Hi lost,wow ...yours story is much silmilar to mind ,not all of it but some,,,what can i say my H hit this state too and he does get pass it bit by bit everyday ,,the first few weeks of the truth is hell thats is one stage ,stage two is how he say nasty things to me too but i thought i deserved it somehow..<i did argue to some that i think is got out of hand> ,third..he did not trust me wherever i go <check up my phone,texts,etc> i let him cause i want to be honest with him..forth i end up resign my job and move away cause i wnat a fresh start away from everything with my clear head and help with my sane....and after that its just occasionly when we had a row over little things he always comes up with the A ..,,but he calm himself down in the end...cause he admit it part of the A happen is also his false...what i'm saying is that maybe your H doesn't see what gone wrong in the M thats why he not pass any stage and made you even more annoy with his behavior..made you even tired of communicate with him and all the situation...he doesn't want to understand the situation...the more you gave him the clear messages the more he always bounce back and hit you in the face whatever it is..if you don't want to stay in the M anymore ,,if thats your target>> you need to be away from him he will not think clearly when you still around..you need to prove to him that you are serious ,find a job somewhere else ,moveaway give him times and space as well as yourself...its the best option right now...i suppose..some M is worth saving but some is not worth hanging on you only know by heart... Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Darth, My husband is not abusive, he had an "issue" one night, it's over and done with (that sounds like a typical victim) but seriously I have known my husband for a long time, he has gotten mad maybe 4 times in 7 years. I pushed him with this affair thing and he is very sorry for the way he acted (one night) Don't expect that one night to be it! Chances are, there'll be more of them, even suddenly. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Has your husband ever called OM's wife, somehow I keep thinking that man, or whatever, is just getting away with murder. It's one thing for him to act cocky, like he knows that his wife won't care, then, there's reality, like his wife ending up with everything that he owns. If he's lied to you about some things, he's lying about this too. If you can't do it, give the number to your husband, I'm sure he'd want a piece of this guys , at least he would have some vindication, I'm sure he still wants to after all you told hubby about OM. I don't know if this would help you to move on, but, it may help your husband a little, as far as not letting the creep go. But, it also shows that you're not trying to defend the OM, besides, what's to defend, you know that he used you, and you know that your hubby wants payback! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 I hope to god my MM gets caught, I can't tell 1. Because (most) say I shouldn't..vindictive, ect 2. He will get me fired from my job When I first told my husband about the affair, I told him not to tell b/c mm's son (from other OW) just moved in and I didn't want the poor kid to go through that, Later on (after the kid moved back out) I gave my husband my MM's cell #, home address, e-mail and his wife's e-mail and told him if he wanted to tell go ahead...he never did Yes I think his wife should know how much of a complete jerk he is, The more I hear the more I know he is ruining her life, but because of what I did (had an affair with her husband) I don't think it can come from me... I think she needs to know what he does so much so that I even started looking for another job (so he can't get me fired) and written the e-mail to send her when I do... but, I can't get another job, work is paying for school, so I have to wait until I am done (b/c if I quit I have to pay them back) and I really like my job Maybe one of the many other OW's will end up telling??? doubt it though, he is way too good at this game Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Make sure your husband hasn't lost his number (home phone number) So then when you two talk again, and you will, ask him why he hasn't called basta- I mean OM! Ask him, doesn't he want to get back at him for having a great time with you, maybe in that format, maybe not(that's a bit sensitive). Anyway, If your husband does it, well you didn't so, I don't know if that would still get you fired, but hey, he's got to pay somehow too, huh? Your husband has payed way toooooo much not to make this guy suffer, now you got me wondering! Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 Someone here mentioned about getting some other man to threaten hubby, not a good Idea, if I'm thinking how buff your husband is, anyone coming around is dead! Someone said you listen to my advice? It's the cape, right? The Chicks love the cape. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 He will get me fired, I can bet on that...no matter who tells. My Xmm is really not a nice guy, my H is very sweet and loving, I don't want my husband to have to hear what the MM would say to him. If anything I would write an e-mail to MM's wife and send it as my H Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 and I don't mean tell him as if I am hiding something....I mean he would be very nasty to my H Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 He will get me fired, I can bet on that...no matter who tells. My Xmm is really not a nice guy, my H is very sweet and loving, I don't want my husband to have to hear what the MM would say to him. If anything I would write an e-mail to MM's wife and send it as my H A typical BAD boy huh? If your husband ever got ahold of him, he's DEAD! Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 and I don't mean tell him as if I am hiding something....I mean he would be very nasty to my H How as? How he had his way with you? Intense sex, orgasms, the whole nine? Men can be that nasty! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 Yeah that and other things, like when I told MM my husband knew, he said, well If he tells I'll just tell my wife that he is one of those crazy men who think there W is cheating on everyone. I was just on another thread where a guy wanted to crush his ex-girlfriends world because she lied and blah blah blah, After reading that I thought the guy was a total jerk....so If I tell I will be a total jerk (again).....No matter what, I think it will look like I am trying to get revenge...and he is not worth my revenge (though I really will feel bad if his wife ends up getting aids or something because she didn't know he was sleeping with anyone)) including hookers in 3rd world countries Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 All the more for you to tell her, to prevent her from getting AIDS. I'm surprised that jerk isn't dead already! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 I know in my heart I should, but there is just way to much to loose and I do think she might be one of those wives that know and ignore....like I know she knows about the first time (he has a kid) I know she and him had an argument about him cheating when him and I were together and I know that one time on a business trip he used the bank card to pay the huge bill at the strip club (not on lap dances), and she made him come home, He told me that once she caught him out on a date with a girl, and that girl told everyone in the nighborhood about them seeing eachother and she was pissed.....but then I never know when he is lying so maybe this stuff never happend (I always wrote it off as him lying, trying to prove he was a stud) I never thought in my life there would be that many dumb women in this world, ( I thought I was the only dumb one that would put up with him) Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 It could be either or in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 and I will never know, I feel bad for her, but I do not believe my sainthood depends on saving this women...when she wants to know she will Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 However, WS's do gaslight their BS's, sometimes for years. Maybe she forgave once, but, doesn't know about all the rest. She could suspect, but, has no proof. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost4ever Posted October 5, 2007 Author Share Posted October 5, 2007 highly unlikely, but I guess...there has been more than enough times he should have been caught....besides...Most of the women on this forum say they wouldn't want the ow to tell them Link to post Share on other sites
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