Try and make this quick!

[Bryanp]

I am going to be harsh here. You desperately need to see a therapist to understand your low self-esteem and why you have been constantly willing to accept such total humiliation and disrespect from this woman. She has used you totally and sees you as a complete fool. You seem to be so co-dependent on her. My guess is that this will be a constant cycle for you. She will continue to be used by this guy and you will continue to be a knight and try to save her. You are wasting your life. She has so little respect for you and you continue to delude yourself. If you do not have respect for yourself then who will? Please see a therapist as soon as you can. Why would she ever want a man who allows her to constantly defecate on him?

[Cobra_X30]

Can any women help me with the logic in this, or men who have been there. What makes a woman do something like this. She seems to be chasing her "fix" of this guy like a drug then feeling bad afterwards.....

 

What up Spike!

 

Good to see you back! Sorry to find this woman is still jerking you around.

 

At some point your going to have to just accept that she is just a crazy whore!

 

Dont be so friggin lazy! Get off your couch and go find someone else! Serious, your never going to get over her if she is the only one in your life! You dont have to date other girls... but at least make some friends you can hang out with!

[spike7165]

Don't get me wrong, I know she is a lying, cheating bitch....a lot of her recent actions prove that. The highlights of the last couple of weeks were sitting on some other guys lap she had just met in a strip club and kissing him in front of me and the same night because she said she was "crazy" attacking me while I was driving, punching and biting me, then spending the next two hours at home attacking me and throwing things, before collapsing in a drunken sleep.

So I know damn well she is basically a crazy bitch who is seriously ****ed up. I dont want her back...

I just want to know when I do actually hate her so much in lots of ways why the hell do I still feel sad and feelings of love when I recognise there is nothing really TO love about her.

Why do I feel like this, I hate that I love her basically. How do I escape the pain and feel better. I feel like there is something wrong with me that I still love and care about her even though I can see quite obviously she is a crazy bitch...

[Cobra_X30]

I just want to know when I do actually hate her so much in lots of ways why the hell do I still feel sad and feelings of love when I recognise there is nothing really TO love about her.

Why do I feel like this, I hate that I love her basically. How do I escape the pain and feel better. I feel like there is something wrong with me that I still love and care about her even though I can see quite obviously she is a crazy bitch...

 

Naw, your just addicted! Like any other addiction you need to detox, by cutting off all contact with her.

 

Trust that she will come crying back, but when she sees that she cant jerk you around anymore... Thats when your going to start becoming attractive to her!

 

So you need to get tough! Cut her off now and forever! NO CONTACT!

[spike7165]

I am going to do it, NC from now. I know she is going to try and call me tomorrow to use my car or for something else and she can forget it.

You are right though, I have to be careful because not being a doormat anymore I think will be attractive to her. Lets face it, despite everything this other guy has done to her she still likes him so she likes being treated badly at the moment.

I dont get why women like that.....just for reference, what makes a woman who has a family, nice home, good guy, babysitter, cleaner, cooker, provider etc oh and not too bad lover :-) go off to a bastard, who doesnt love them or even care. I just dont understand it. And she cant explain it to me either!

[Cobra_X30]

It's no secret.

 

Because you love her and treat her well, it means your not good enough for her! Otherwise why would you be so nice? If you really deserved her, and were better than her, you would treat her like crap!

 

Does that make sense?

[Trialbyfire]

spike, read up on the member, NorCalDave's threads. He was strung along by an older woman for 3.5 to 4 years. She also used him until he finally broke free in the last few months and kicked her to the curb. I hope he can keep away from her but who knows.

 

Your ex is pure poison. She's even worse than NCD's. Why you guys put up with tramps like these, who knows. Run away and stay away from psychos like these.

[spike7165]

Here we go again, I know this is boring but I am in Japan with nobody to help..

After my last post she came back again within 1 day because he didn't want her...I stupidly let her back, then just yesterday some two weeks later I catch her with him again.

I know you guys think I am stupid but when she is not sick over him and not speaking to him and concentrating on us we are so good, all the old feelings come back, the fun, laughter, passion then one week later she can't stop thinking about him because he doesn't call or try and gives in and calls him. He's then great and we are bad. She actually blamed me for questioning her and being suspicious.

Anyway thats not the point I know she is a deceitful, lying bitch who has tried to have her cake and eat it and doesn't really have a clue what she wants.

She is definitely gone this time, no way coming back taken near enough everything.

I just can't stop crying and I hate myself because of that.

I'm asahmed to say I have called her a lot today and she hasn't answered, left tearful answerphone messages, the works so I am not surprised she doesnt want to talk to me really. Must be making her feel really guilty.

I dont know whats wrong with me. Why I let her back before, why when I am intelligent guy and I know she is bad, it hurts so much, so bad. Almost 3 years of nothing now,

I so felt she was my soulmate, how do I deal with that!

[ICallsEmAsISeesEm]

You know what, Spike? The last time I looked, 'soulmates' don't treat you like a dirty piece of gum stuck their shoe. 'Soulmates' don't lie to your face constantly, give you false hope, take advantage of your good nature, suck you dry financially, and continually disrespect you EVERY SINGLE CHANCE THEY GET.

 

'Soulmates' don't do that.

 

But rotten, lying, conniving, manipulating, soul-less, self-centered, selfish A*SSHOLES do.

 

Do you have a limit as to just HOW many more kicks in the face you want to receive from this pathetic creature?

 

And why do you think you're making her feel guilty? She's done NOTHING but serve herself and I think you give her far too much credit for having a conscience. She doesn't.

 

Take your damned neck off the chopping block, scrounge up some pride, and decide from this minute forward, you are NO LONGER her whipping boy.

[spike7165]

No I have had enough now. The woman I met two and a half.three years ago is just not there anymore. When I met her she was loving, appeared to want a good man to have a loving partnership with and sex was normal.

As time has progressed she has either shown her true colours or has changed beyond recognition.

I am trying to do NC but she keeps calling or coming round. The things she says beggar belief...

She obviously knows there is no future with this guy so she is desperate and i mean desperate to keep me hanging on for her...no bloody chance! She cajoles, threatens, anything to keep me on side until she has had her fun.

She actually said today that this new guy was just "entertainment" I mean what a kicker for this guy and for me as well that she has scarificed our relationship for "entertainment"

I could understand this if she was 18, but 36 with a 6 year old son leaving a home and a family for this guy living out of a hotel. She knows as well that he is probably screwing someone else but can't prove it.

I am beginning to think she is actually got a mental health problem.

The good thing for my personal health is that I have realised I am scared of not finding anybody the same but now I see that on the emotional level she doesn't give me anything other than empty words, sometimes. On the physical level that I have to admit I was maybe still am addicted to, I can see now that using her body to entice and tantalise me to get what she wants in the same way she does with a guy in a bar is not nice and doesnt make me feel good.

Let's face it a woman that can be sitting on top of you in bed, leave it to your imagination, and starts telling you how good the other guy was and how big his penis was and is actually getting off on it, has frankly got a screw loose.

Anyway, I have appreciated all your comments, I do re-read them all the time to reassure myself she is crazy and there are normal women in the world that can be affectionate and sexy without being totally demented!

I just need to find a way now, to actually enforce the no contact. Because this moron doesn't even have an apartment she can't take all her stuff out and nice guy that I am I can't bring myself to chuck it on the street.

I find myself becoming detached from it now, I know that she is with him right now in a hotel. I feel something but I don't feel that much. After all the pain and the craziness I described above I think I have just realised that at 33 it was a fun crazy time while it lasted but she is a head case I really couldn't ever have a future with and no guy could, not one!

 

Thanks for listening, this board is amazing and in the absence of any decent friends in Japan now, you guys and your comments give me so much strength. I wish there was a way we could all meet one day and have a beer, wine or three! Because you lot are the best people anyone could meet, pity none of us seem to meet such great people in real life...where you lot hiding at?

[spike7165]

Oh and by the way, how stupid am I to now realise that AGAIN, she screwed him (unprotected) and me in a short period of time. AGAIN today she is wondering....what if I'm pregnant?

I know there are some great girls in the world, where I dont know they must be hiding, but I have never had male friends who were so LOW, DECEITFUL and downright NASTY to not just me but him as well.

 

PS I actually had a bit of fun on the weekend and called him and said he was welcome to her. That she was difficult and I was sick of her mood swings and ****ing him then coming home and ****ing me was disgusting. Said good luck, he was a stronger guy than me to put up with her and hung up!

[spike7165]

OMG...just did an online bi-polar quiz and she scored in the 2nd level down from the top!

When she's up I've seen these mania symptoms:

Inflated self esteem, euphoric mood, extreme irritability (especially when combined with drink), decreased sleep and increase in risky behaviour, definitely the last one with sex and how she behaves outside and finally impaired judgement.

When she's down we've got:

Depression, (including suicidal thoughts), loss of interest, increased appetite, sleep changes and self loathing big time.

Wow, can't believe it, I think she actually might be bi-polar. Would explain why one day she is the life and soul of the party, acting sexy, risk taking, getting drunk wanting crazy sex, then going nuts angry especially when drunk then the next day self loathing, sleeping, depression and being generally irritable.

 

I could be wrong and it could be regular mood swings, but the way she can change so fast seems to point in the bi-polar direction.

 

I am actually shocked never thought about this until Whyme_wtf mentioned it.

 

OMG!