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I don't what to make of her behavior


TheSilentType

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TheSilentType

So there's this girl I know. From the first week I met her she was flirting with me. And for the past couple of months its been this intermittent flirting with me.

 

I haven't done anything about it though I'm interested.For one, I don't know if she's just being flirty. Two, I don't know if she has a boyfriend.

Three, I don't know if she'll like me once she gets to know me - we're opposites in personality. I really want this girl - she's gorgeous - but I think I've kind of self-rejected myself already.

 

Anyways, although she is flirty and is really heavy with endearments that she doesn't use with other guys, she's at times very distant and doesn't even acknowledge me.

 

Do any of you act like this? This hot and cold act is really confusing to me. Is there any explanation that you can give?

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whichwayisup

Ahh, my favourite avatar is back!! Love that pup-pup...

 

Is there any way you can quietly ask around, find out if she has a boyfriend???

 

OK, the hot/cold thing...I think she's doing it to get your attention. She is flirty with you, and the things she says isn't what she says to anybody else so I would take that as a good sign.

 

Personally, I think you should ask her to go get a coffee and go from there.

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Then my rough guess (which I'm mainly concluding out of what you mentioned about yourself) is that she likes you but doesn't consistently flirt because you're not giving her any clear signals. She might be as confused as you are if you're not making it clear that you do like her and enjoy the flirting. In which case, her ego probably cools her feelings off at certain times. Until the feelings take over again and the flirting cycle starts all over again.

 

Also keep in mind that one way flirting never lasts forever. So if you haven't made the slightest move yet, I suggest you do it soon.

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TheSilentType

What I really really don't understand is why she didn't just ask me if I wanted to go out and do something?

 

I mean she had to be able to tell from the way I responded to her whenever I was around her that I liked her. I mean even though I was doing my best to seem cool and subtle about it all, I was really looking into her eyes and smiling a lot.

 

She had to have known I was hooked. Yet she didn't do anything.

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whichwayisup
What I really really don't understand is why she didn't just ask me if I wanted to go out and do something?

 

She could be waiting for you to do the exact same thing. Maybe she is old fashioned, prefers the guy to make the first move..........Hate to tell ya this, but it seems like she has been giving you signals.

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She could be waiting for you to do the exact same thing. Maybe she is old fashioned, prefers the guy to make the first move..........Hate to tell ya this, but it seems like she has been giving you signals.

 

Take it from me, tell her dude! Ask her out, and make it abundantly clear that it is considered a date.

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Lance Taylor

I have to agree with sfsassy, you need to ask her out. That is the fastest way of seeing if she is interested. However, there are some things you can do to make her more interested in the meantime. Keep the flirting going, but dont act like you are obviously interested in her. Girls want a challenge, so maybe the hot/cold thing is her realizing that you are interested and thus making her lose interest.

 

Instead of her determining how the interactions go, you should be in charge. Flirt with her, then joke on her for trying to hook up with you. Make the underlying meaning of the flirting be that she is pursuing you, not the other way around.

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what makes you think that the fact that you personalities are opposite means that she wouldn't like you? most of the time opposites make better couples. like with me for instance, i am only slightly extroverted, and kind of shy at times, but the only type of girls that i have ever enjoyed having relationships with have been very flirty, extroverted, talkative girls hahaha.

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TheSilentType

I'm more of a quiet person, whereas she is more outgoing and easily mingles with people. I figure she may tire of me quickly, so thats one of the reasons Im not pushing anything at this moment. One thing I'm dreading is that if I ask her out we wont have anything to talk about. Silent moments are so awkward. It's a big reason I'm not asking her out.

 

Anyways, I dont know what to make of this hot and cold behavior. Just the other day she came up to me and started talking. But after our conference when I went to speak with her she seemed shier (sp?).

 

I don't want to make a fool of myself asking her if she wants to go out when she won't be interested. I have to work with and see this person for the next couple of months.

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