out of the blue, ex wants to meet up...

[heartoutside]

Then print this out and when you have your weak moments, read it a couple of times over. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and just experiencing what others feel when a relationship is over. Her immaturity you can't fix, only she can fix that and the only way she will do this is with time and counseling. Her not having a mom is a huge part in this, my ex-fiancee's mom abused her and I can't count the amount of nights that she would cry over this. It then turned into anger, where I was her emotional punching bag. She needs to clear her head, don't let her confusion take you down with her.

 

All I am saying is there is no need to be mean to her, she is not the plague. She's still a person, and though she continues to make bad mistakes that is something she needs to do on her own. Like you mentioned continue to start working on yourself, set short-term goals for yourself. Give yourself something to work towards.

 

 

I'm not trying to be mean to her, that isn't my intent at all. But I've had to go through 4 months of hell and what for?!? Just so she could string me along and then finally decided to date another dude! The past 4+ months have been all about me trying to fix "us," trying to figure a way to get her back. But enough is enough.

 

If I wanted to be mean to her, I could have been totally mean to her at that party. I could have walked right up to AE boy while the two of them were outside and showed him the text from her saying she wanted to sleep with me the week before...or the countless other text messages she has sent me!

 

I don't mean to get defensive, it's just that I don't think my ignoring her is being mean to her. Its just that I've spent the last 4 months replying to her texts, her emails and it's gotten me no where. All it did was make me feel like a tool! Esp when she sent me that text saying she wanted to sleep with me and then 4 days later she "announced" that she was dating this guy! I felt so stupid and played....

 

As far as what she needs, I realize that she needs help and she has to realize that for herself.

[heartoutside]

I forgot tell you guys that she sent me 2 more texts today while she was on her lunch break, or at least while she was at work.

 

"Good afternoon"

 

"I wish we can talk"

 

 

Now I"m starting to get confused. I don't know which road to take. CLASSIC! 2 roads to choose; which to travel?! Road one, the one I'm on now, ignoring her attempts and moving on or trying too! Road two: text her back asking her "talk about what?" or something along those lines.

 

I think I'll have to think about this one, long and hard. I need to know that I'm in the right place mentally and not make any choices out of anger, hurt or the like.

[storm]

You haven't been mean at all to her. Trust me. Breaking up with you is mean. But her choice. And everything she has done since is downright mean.

 

Take it to the next level. Delete her from your myspace and facebook.

[wowIlose]

Dont text her back.. if she wanted you back she would tell you now. Shes still testing you.

[heartoutside]

So I called my retail job the other day to let them know I could work for them today. I"m trying to get as money as I can so I can travel and get my business going. Anyway, my ex was suppose to be working yesterday, but she didn't. They switched her to today!

 

I never really had a chance to say hi to her without really going out of my way to do it. She had the chance to say a hi to me when my back was turned and I didn't realize she was there until she walked passed.

 

The good thing, i guess if there is a good thing, is that I was having a good time and didn't look all gloom and blah. When she first got there, for the first hour she looked kind of blah. There a bunch of new guys working there that are all friends with my ex, but because I haven't worked there in 3 or 4 months I really don't know them. But by the time my ex had showed up to work (about 3 hours after I did) we were all joking around.

 

I kind of wish I hadn't gone to work. I wouldnt' have gone if I knew she was working. I'm wondering if this will affect anything, if she'll just stop contacting me all together?

 

who knows......

 

I'm not really sure how to feel. I can't seem to figure out where I stand emotionally, if that makes sense. One second I'm mad, the next I'm like whatever, there are other fish out there, and then I miss her.....the list goes on and on, the types of emotions I keep going through.

[heartoutside]

So last night I went out with my buddie to see a basketball game.

 

It started around 7 or so, and my ex got off work around 6. So basically as soon as I got to the game the text messages started up again.

 

The first "hi"

 

2nd: "Nothing. Do I not exist?"

 

at this point I turn my phone off.....

 

The game ends and I turn my phone back on...and bham....5 texts

 

3rd: "am I that horrrible you can't text me back or talk to me? You didn't even look at me at work."

 

Which isn't true I looked at her several times, and she looked at me several times.

 

4th: "Please text me back."

 

5th: "I'm watching 'name of the show.' Thought of you"

 

We would always watch this show together.....

 

6th: I hope you know this hurts. I hope that's not your intentions.

 

7th: Please "nick name!!"

 

The last text came after i had read all the other texts which was around midnight. She knew I had finally read them so she sent that last one like she was waiting for me to read them.

 

She hasn't called me by my nick name in the longest time...maybe a few weeks before we broke up was the last time I heard her say that! It was her little pet name for me.

 

Hurting her, are you kidding me. She made this choice not me! She doesn't even know what hurt is if she thinks this is hurt!

 

man

[LoisLane]

Holycow... this is intense. Why don't you just tell her that she's the one that is hurting you and putting you through a tough time? This isn't fair for you, ya know?

[storm]

Heart. Please don't take offense, but this is my favorite soap opera by far. Yeah i'm going through a horrible break up myself but your story gives me something to read on a daily basis. Glad you are taking our advice. You see what ignoring her is doing? Awesome!!!

 

I still say take it up a notch. Delete delete delete her, from myspace and facebook. She will feel smaller than the period at the end of this sentence.

 

I've seen your first posts and it was horrible how sad you were when she dumped you. I'm just happy to see that you have the power back for now. I just fear if you reply then she will crush you again. She really needs to come back on your terms. A long talk will be needed but not sure if now is the time. Also rememeber, the more she feels like this, the less time she will spend with AE boy.

[storm]

I'm starting to think. If you ever do accidently text her back it should be along the lines of.......................... "What do you want from me?"

[storm]

If you send a text like "what do you want from me?" and she responds in a nasty tone with a text like "fine, if you don't want to be my friend" then that will be a good confirmation that she just wants to keep you on the string.

 

But if she replies to that with "I want to have a talk with you" then maybe she is considering getting back together.

[heartoutside]

well she did say we need to finish our conversation a few days ago. Which makes no sense because the conversation was 100% ended at that coffees shop. I told her that if she wanted to talk to call....I never said "we'll finish this conversation later." I mean she did say, "we'll talk later?" or something along those lines. But when I left that I talk i surely didn't feel like there was anything else to talk about and she put on the final touch by dating this AE dude.

 

As for it being a soap opera, no offense taken. I kind of see it like that too (not what I want though), I wouldn't doubt that my ex is attracted to the drama of this whole thing. My brother joking said it's turning into a Dawson Creek episode or a 90210 thing....

 

I'm going to wait it out....i don't think I'll reply to anything yet. I feel good about things in general, i'm not down, i'm make'n pancakes and bacon right now, something I haven't done in a long time.... LIfe is moving on for me!

[frd150]

As for it being a soap opera, no offense taken. I kind of see it like that too (not what I want though), I wouldn't doubt that my ex is attracted to the drama of this whole thing. My brother joking said it's turning into a Dawson Creek episode or a 90210 thing....

 

Man,were old:mad:

 

I'm going to wait it out....i don't think I'll reply to anything yet. I feel good about things in general, i'm not down, i'm make'n pancakes and bacon right now, something I haven't done in a long time.... LIfe is moving on for me!

 

Pancakes and bacon...is that part of the workout diet?

[heartoutside]

Pancakes and bacon...is that part of the workout diet?

 

that's sad, i thought the same thing! I'll have to run an extra mile tomorrow I guess!

[storm]

No, you have to delete your ex from myspace and facebook.

[frd150]

Moderation is key in everything. If your familiar with in and out burger here in cali then you will know of the double double. I just inhaled one.

 

1 double double = 1/2 hour extra in the gym.

[heartoutside]

I made tonight a netflix night, spent to much cash and drank too much last night at the game, so I thought a night at home would be best. I think I watched the wrong movie though, Ladder 49, talk about depressing! I should have thought about that one before I watched it, I mean have you ever seen a funny fire fighter movie?

 

So now I'm kind of sliding, I want to call her or text her, but I know I shouldn't, not yet, and I know I can't! I really just need a punching bag, or a good run, but it's too late and to cold for a run.

 

That last text she sent is just eating away at me....I always loved it when she called me by her nick name for me, only she could say it just right.

 

Something else is kind of weigh'n on my mind. Last night while at the game, but i looked at my phone and my buddie said, "WHAT are you doing? Put that away!" I did, but then he said, ok, I'm going to tell you this and we're not going to talk about this for the rest of the night.

 

Last saturday, the morning before the halloween party, my ex came up to my buddie at our work and asked him something that I find kind of odd. She said, "so tonight is going to weird isn't it?" And he said "no, i'm counting money." He's reply I can understand, but her asking him I find very odd. 2 reasons, one she has to know it will get back to me, and two, I would never in a million years think my ex would ask him about any of this, ANY of it!

 

I know I have to take one day at a time, and it's obivious that this won't be a happy ending over night, no matter what the outcome. But I guess it's just one of those nights where my mind is starting to think. Think about her reasons for all this contact, thinking if she really is confused, or if she just wants me in her life as a friend.

 

Right now, that is the only reason I'm not contacting her. I fear she'll just say I want you as a friend, I need you in my life as a friend.

 

Too bad, and those aren't words I want to hear. I would do anything for her to send me another text like the one she sent a few days after we broke up, "I love you and I miss you!"

[heartoutside]

I'm starting to think she won't contact me again....I know I know I know, I've said that before, but how long can this keep up? Can she really just keep doing this? And why is she doing it? I just keep wondering what the hell is happening on the other side of this city, right now, with her? bah

[storm]

stop it! you sound like a broken record. You have said this many times before "guys, I don't think she will contact me again"

 

And what always happens? She contacts you. Read the past pages and you will see the pattern. You probably didn't do to well in history class as a kid.

 

Delete her from myspace/facebook. Get a big reaction out of her. And then you can text her back with. "what do you want from me?"

 

Remember, she is dating AE boy. Get pissed man.

[heartoutside]

I guess I'm a man of logic....

[heartoutside]

So i'm totally trashed....I know bad idea....but it sunday football and we all ended up at my buddies bar, free drinks and an empty afternoon is a bad idea!!!!

 

I don't think i've ever been so tempted to text or call my ex.....she actualy sent me a text while I was at the bar...

 

Are you watching the simpsons?

 

Lame...what the hell.......I almost replied, "NO, I have a life, and I'm enjoying it!"

 

Why can't she just understand what the hell is going on!??! Everyone else seems to get it! I had a talk with my buddie's gf tonight (a quick one at that) and she said that she ran into my ex about 4 weeks ago at our friends going away party (i was out of town for it!) and she said all she wanted to do was shack her and knock some sense into her! And this is coming from the same girl who around the same time as my ex and I broke up walked out on my buddie but came back because she realized she was making a mistake!

 

God all I want to do right now is text her, or talk to her! It ****'n sucks!

[storm]

Oh no she's not going to text again........... Ha Ha.

 

You still haven't deleted her from myspace and facebook. Why are you keeping her on these sites as a friend? Or is she your good friend? What are you afraid of? Show her that you aren't holding onto anything anymore and it will freak her out even more. She won't know what to do if you get rid of her from the sites. Show her that she isn't your friend anymore. This will get under her skin so bad.

 

Have I been wrong all this time?

[thelegend]

i think you are in a situation as to where you just want what you can't have. You want her because she's not available. I'll bet good money after all the hell and stress and pain she put you through if she does come back to you full time you wouldn't even want her. And after you've made love or whatever you really wouldn't want her anymore.

[myhotrod123456789]

i think you are in a situation as to where you just want what you can't have. You want her because she's not available. I'll bet good money after all the hell and stress and pain she put you through if she does come back to you full time you wouldn't even want her. And after you've made love or whatever you really wouldn't want her anymore.

 

I agree with that. I think it is true to some extent for everyone who is dumped, but still has lingering feelings. People tend to glorify the dumper and make them into "the one", where in reality if we looked at how the dumper was treating the dumpee subjectively, it would be hard to reconcile.

[heartoutside]

yeah, I've thought about that too. But I don't think I'll ever know. Also, if I were to get back into a relationship, it wouldn't be for some time. If she and are to get back together it would be under my terms and I would want both of us to be single and give each other the space that we never had. There is no way in HELL i would just jump into bed with her. I'm not a fool.

 

But don't get me wrong, I think about if I miss her or do I just miss having that person every so often and it's a hard thing to figure out when the person isn't in your life.

[heartoutside]

I don't mean to post every little thing on here. I realized that I"ve been posting alot.

 

Well I got another text this morning.

 

"I know your on this not texting me back thing, but the gas company keeps sending me your bill."

 

Not true at all. The gas bill was in her name when we lived together, I switched it up well over a month and a half ago. The bill she keeps getting is her final bill for a grand total of $7.40!!! That's right, $7.40. When we lived together she never paid a dime for gas, even though it was in her name, I ALWAYS paid it. I think she can fork over 7 bucks and pay it. If she can afford burrybarry boots and a black barry! I think she can swing 7 bucks....

 

I'm guessing once again she's try'n to get some kind of reaction out of me!

 

But I have no clue.....I mean one night she's saying one thing and the next she's saying another.....????!??!??!?!?

 

I have no idea what to do? I'm expecting a phone call about this one! I mean she won't let this slide, although I think any sane person would! She got her new BF to cosign her student loan (That's right after knowing her for a grand total of 3 months he co-signed her loan!) so I don't see what she can't ask him for a loan, maybe 7 bucks.....

 

If she does call, do I answer? If so what do I say? how do I act?!