depressed boyfriend???

[MonroeVonOh]

Hello , I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. We are very close and there is this bond there that I have never felt before and I am happy.

 

But sometimes that bond can weigh too much on my heart and his.

 

For the past couple months my boyfriend has been trying to explain to me that he just doesn't feel like himself anymore and that this is something that has been going on with him for awhile and it seems to be rising to the surface more and more.

 

Although he came from a good home , it had it's problems. He has told me that he has never felt like anyone cared a lick for him his entire life. and his parents didn't help laying a solid foundation for that either.

 

My boyfriend has got to be one of the most gentle , sweet , charming , funny , caring , he would give me the world if he could but also knows how to put me in my place when need be lol. He is such an amazing person , and I thank my lucky stars every day.

 

He seems like he has got it altogether .. great job etc. so why does he tell me that he doesn't feel himself, depressed .. he is convinced that there is some sort of possible chemical imbalance in his brain .

 

This has made things difficult in our relationship as well . I find myself wanting to cry because he can be so distant sometimes. I am very sensitive to peoples emotions and this kills me every time .

 

He also agrees with me when I say that I don't know how to help him , and that really stings... more than just a little bit.

 

What I am trying to say here is , how do I help the man I am in love with , when he can't even really tell me what's wrong with him ?

 

does anyone know anything about what he might be going through ? An off and on , distant behavior?

 

Also , I am going to school in Jan and we talked about a possible break up for a year while that was taking place. He says because of that he tends to withdraw from becoming closer to me just in case the Jan. break up happens. He also says that certain mistakes that I have made in the past has left him worrying about the future.

 

Could it be that he is wanting out and just can't tell me ? I have asked him not to lead me on into the relationship if he is not going to give 100 percent like I am trying to do . He says he can't really let go because he is in love with me .

 

Is what he is trying to describe to me , depression ? or is he just afraid to let me go even though he says he can't/won't get close to me .

 

if this doesn't make any sense then I have just successfully made you all feel how I am feeling . lol

 

I'm so lost on how to help .

 

One more thing : He often is forgetting what he has said to me in certain situations. When I bring it up ,he swears that he doesn't remember saying it . That has been happening more and more as well.

 

Is memory loss a symptom of depression ?

[whichwayisup]

Suggest to him that he go talk to his doctor, get a referral to see a therapist. Once actually diagnosed, treatment can begin. Whether it be talk therapy and/or medication, he needs to deal with this now before it gets worse.

 

Either you, or him, write down all his symptoms, including his forgetfulness, and moods, the way he feels etc...

 

How you can support him? Just be there to listen to him...Do things which will help him out, like maybe in advance, make some meals, then put them in his freezer...If you are at his place, do some cleaning up for him, (dishes etc) because if he is having a low day, he won't clean up after himself (if his depression is bad enough)..

 

I hope this helps.

 

PS memory loss is a symptom of depression, but he needs to go to his doctor and get a full physical to make sure it's not something else.