Serious questions about Women & Relationships

[Mz. Pixie]

Men have their part as well but all we ever hear is how horrible men are and how men need to change who we are to fit to a woman's liking but women cause just as many problems in relationships as men.

 

Actually, what we usually hear on this forum is how terrible women are!

[Mz. Pixie]

I really hate this idea that women do everything and men would be lost without a woman to take care of them. After my divorce I spent 2 years as a single man living alone and I always managed to feed myself, keep my house clean, and manage my life very well. Women seem to have this idea that without them doing everything the world will fall apart and that is just not the case. If women just learned to relax and realize the world will still stay in place if they took a moment for themselves they would be a whole lot happier.

 

Uh, oh- I'm actually agreeing with you here!

 

I'm positive that my husband doesn't need me to take care of him, but he loves it when I do. He was single for a good bit of time before he married me and before he was married to his ex wife. He can cook better than me, clean a house, do laundry and manage quite well on his own. We are partners. Good partners balance each other out.

 

I think many times a woman starts out trying to do everything- work - the house and then the kids- and never take time for themselves. Then years later they are burned out completely. My motto is just don't start out that way. Negotiate in the beginning before marriage and kids exactly what role each of you are going to have- and agree that together you will both decide if and when those roles need to be revised.

 

Another problem is that people don't think before they get into relationships. Many times they let their heart rule and think that everything will just work out in the end on it's own- that's just simply not true. I mean, come on, if he hasn't held a steady job in the five years before you met him what makes you think that you moving in with him will make any difference??

 

Same thing reversed for the guy. If she's high maintenance when you're dating her- and used to having everything that she wants- what makes you think she's going to be any difference once you guys are in a relationship?? She's always been the princess so I'm sure she sees no reason to change!

 

Marry a guy who doesn't pay child support on kids that he already has? What makes you think he'll support any that he has with you??

 

Marry a woman who in her single life lived in a messy apartment where there could have been science experiments- ummm she's probably not going to be the best housekeeper.

 

Goes for every gender.

[Cobra_X30]

Pixie, so far you have been a champion of the people can change movement.

 

You might have married the best housekeeper in the world... but given time and change....

 

Look, these issues face what... 2% of the worlds population?

 

You get caught cheating on your husband in Iran.... they kill you! Do it in India... your husband drags you out into the street and lights your @$$ on fire. I think we need to step out of our selfish retarded little fake universe and take a strong hard look at what life is really like!

[Mz. Pixie]

Pixie, so far you have been a champion of the people can change movement.

 

Actually, in this thread I'm saying people usually don't change. What I'm talking about are lifetime habits- not something a person does once in their life- as in my situation. I'm saying don't have unrealistic expectations of the other person and then be shocked when it doesn't happen.

 

You might have married the best housekeeper in the world... but given time and change....

 

And why would that change? He likes a clean home just like I do. And if it does change I'd rather obtain outside help than get into huge fight about it.

 

Look, these issues face what... 2% of the worlds population?

 

You get caught cheating on your husband in Iran.... they kill you! Do it in India... your husband drags you out into the street and lights your @$$ on fire. I think we need to step out of our selfish retarded little fake universe and take a strong hard look at what life is really like!

 

And you are proposing that we go to that???? I'm not sure what the point is with the statement. I thought this thread was about women picking the wrong mates and expecting them to change??

 

Personally I'm very aware of what life is really like, and I certainly know those things happen- however, those things are not the reality that married people face here in the States. Not sure where you live but here we are free- and my husband doesn't own me like a piece of cattle nor does he have the right to take my life should I do something he doesn't like.

[Lyssa]

Same thing reversed for the guy. If she's high maintenance when you're dating her- and used to having everything that she wants- what makes you think she's going to be any difference once you guys are in a relationship?? She's always been the princess so I'm sure she sees no reason to change!

 

If there's a good reason to change that habit, I think it's all good. My BF knows that I am high maintenance before we got involved. Now that we're together, things have changed. He can afford to buy me anything but he taught me that material things aren't everything. I earn a lot and I don't need my BF or future husband to buy me anything. I can afford to buy them myself. So I don't think someone who is spoiled, will be spoiled forever.

[Cobra_X30]

And you are proposing that we go to that???? I'm not sure what the point is with the statement. I thought this thread was about women picking the wrong mates and expecting them to change??

 

Personally I'm very aware of what life is really like, and I certainly know those things happen- however, those things are not the reality that married people face here in the States. Not sure where you live but here we are free- and my husband doesn't own me like a piece of cattle nor does he have the right to take my life should I do something he doesn't like.

 

Oh, I look back at that post and noticed I made it sound like it is all directed at you! Sorry about that!

 

I was just pointing out that poeple change over time and in given circumstances. I do not encourage marrying people with the idea of trying to change them... nor do I think you should walk into a marriage thinking that your SO will not change. I am a very different person now than I was with my first GF! I learn and grow.

 

Here in the good ol' US of A we tend to think we are the best the world has to offer. I'm suggesting that we are in fact out of touch with the reality of the human condition. We are so bombarded with these ideals of how things should be. We have this expectation for life that is simply unrealistic, and leaves us unhappy and unfulfilled at the end of the day!

 

LOL... Hopefully this makes more sense!

[Anna Comnena]

I thought your mom was a teacher that had a lot of time off?

 

I'm sorry that you had a bad childhood. Don't let your bad relationship with your mom interfere with how you see things.

 

Thanks for sharing your story. You have just proven to all those who read it that its better to have one good responsible parent raising a child than it is to have one good and one bad irresponsible parent around.

 

Take Care

 

I wouldn't jump to such swift conclusions. My parents were married. My mother was a teacher. My father worked in Northern Cali for 2-3 weeks at a time, and would return for the weekend. My mother, was non existent due to mental illness. At a very early age, I taught myself to cook and clean my clothes. (Hence the, I can only rely on myself) I was beaten nearly daily. Even had my teeth knocked out by my mother at 7 years old. I had to have implants put in. the situation I was in was not even comparably normal to anyone else I know. although I have a very close relationship with my father now, I hated him for leaving me with her, especially considering he couldn't live with her himself. None the less, despite the fact he was ALWAYS gone, when he did come home, he bought food for me to make meals, got basic necessities for me like toilet paper, etc. He was the only sanity, thereby, I couldn't imagine not having him around.

 

In addition, I've been on my own since I was 15. (the best thing that ever happened to me) The early years, I lived in utter poverty. I was starving and I worked 2-3 jobs in an attempt to get by. Hence, the "never go hungry again" mentality.

 

In my opinion, I didn't really have any parents, and I sure didn't have much of a childhood. During my teen years, of course I had friends who came from similar situations.. All of those friends now are either dead or on drugs.

 

I have hard views... I have had a very hard life. I had to live my life on a very edge of disaster.. It wouldn't have taken me much to drop out of school, get pregnant, and do drugs. I was always scared to death of becoming pregnant.. because I knew how hard it was to feed myself, and I wasn't capable of feeding a child.

 

People tell me, I'm lucky.. lucky to have such a good job, even lucky to go to law school.. .. Sort of upsets me, because LUCK had nothing to do with it. I"ve worked my ass off to get where I am. 2 Jobs during undergrad. 50+ hours a week now, during law school.

 

People complain to me about.. "my parents won't pay for school, or.. they won't give me that or this.." and that's why they didn't go to college and their life is so screwed up..Well, they're complaining to the wrong person.

 

Everyone has excuses.. but that's all they are.. EXCUSES. Take some responsibility for your life.. after all, you are the person in the driver's seat.

[Cobra_X30]

^^^^^^

 

Hey Anna! Your not alone on that one! My mom wasnt physically abusive, and we always had money... but I grew up in a similar situation.

 

It makes me stronger, because I rely only on myself. Yet it makes me weaker, because I have trouble putting my fate in the hands of others.

 

Similar?

[Trialbyfire]

Everyone has excuses.. but that's all they are.. EXCUSES. Take some responsibility for your life.. after all, you are the person in the driver's seat.

This I can agree with but that's about it. People need to take responsibility for their lives but they don't have to take responsibility over another adult's life. What they need to do is to control themselves. If they attempt to control their partner, the relationship will sooner or later implode.

 

Compromise is a good thing. Each person has their hard boundaries which should be stated upfront. If by the time they reach marriage, they haven't managed to adjust to each other's hard boundaries, they shouldn't get married.

 

If you solely select a partner based on a list of requirements, your marriage will fail. If you solely select a partner based on emotion, your marriage will most likely fail although there will be lucky exceptions. Love is never enough but love is an important ingredient, in a successful marriage.

 

Also, to not expect equality from either gender and to take full responsibility for both sides of a relationship, is unrealistic.

[Mz. Pixie]

I have hard views... I have had a very hard life. I had to live my life on a very edge of disaster.. It wouldn't have taken me much to drop out of school, get pregnant, and do drugs. I was always scared to death of becoming pregnant.. because I knew how hard it was to feed myself, and I wasn't capable of feeding a child.

 

People tell me, I'm lucky.. lucky to have such a good job, even lucky to go to law school.. .. Sort of upsets me, because LUCK had nothing to do with it. I"ve worked my ass off to get where I am.

 

I know what you're saying- my mother was mentally ill as well.

 

A therapist told me one time that since I wasn't in jail, didn't do drugs, and wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere that I was a success story given my upbringing.

[Mz. Pixie]

Here in the good ol' US of A we tend to think we are the best the world has to offer. I'm suggesting that we are in fact out of touch with the reality of the human condition. We are so bombarded with these ideals of how things should be. We have this expectation for life that is simply unrealistic, and leaves us unhappy and unfulfilled at the end of the day!

 

LOL... Hopefully this makes more sense!

 

Yes, I agree with this and it does make more sense.

[Anna Comnena]

^^^^^^

 

Hey Anna! Your not alone on that one! My mom wasnt physically abusive, and we always had money... but I grew up in a similar situation.

 

It makes me stronger, because I rely only on myself. Yet it makes me weaker, because I have trouble putting my fate in the hands of others.

 

Similar?

 

Exactly. The other girl mention that I always need to be in control, which is.. and isn't true.

Relationship wise, don't need to be in control so much, with the in's and outs of my life, yes. After years of being out of the house, and rebuilding my relationship with my father, I wanted to incorporate him into my wedding plans.

I expected he wanted to help plan a bit, come to the event, and participate. WOW, no matter how much my life had normalized, I remember really quickly what it was like to be that child again, and it came as a fresh blow to the face how I couldn't rely on either my mother or my father. I told myself... "stupid, stupid stupid, I know better... I know I can't rely on him, what the hell was I thinking?" I was so sad and disappointed because I got my hopes up.

 

Since the age of 15, I have been unemployed for a total of 2 days. I was insecure about taking out loans and attending school full time thus dropping my current job. - a difficult path

 

It does make you stronger, but it's exhausting. It's so difficult to lay back, close your eyes, and trust someone else to pilot... and the fear of falling.

[Anna Comnena]

Uh, oh- I'm actually agreeing with you here!

 

I'm positive that my husband doesn't need me to take care of him, but he loves it when I do. He was single for a good bit of time before he married me and before he was married to his ex wife. He can cook better than me, clean a house, do laundry and manage quite well on his own. We are partners. Good partners balance each other out.

 

I think many times a woman starts out trying to do everything- work - the house and then the kids- and never take time for themselves. Then years later they are burned out completely. My motto is just don't start out that way. Negotiate in the beginning before marriage and kids exactly what role each of you are going to have- and agree that together you will both decide if and when those roles need to be revised.

 

Another problem is that people don't think before they get into relationships. Many times they let their heart rule and think that everything will just work out in the end on it's own- that's just simply not true. I mean, come on, if he hasn't held a steady job in the five years before you met him what makes you think that you moving in with him will make any difference??

 

Same thing reversed for the guy. If she's high maintenance when you're dating her- and used to having everything that she wants- what makes you think she's going to be any difference once you guys are in a relationship?? She's always been the princess so I'm sure she sees no reason to change!

 

Marry a guy who doesn't pay child support on kids that he already has? What makes you think he'll support any that he has with you??

 

Marry a woman who in her single life lived in a messy apartment where there could have been science experiments- ummm she's probably not going to be the best housekeeper.

 

Goes for every gender.

 

Pixie, I totally agree with just about everything. People can change, but it takes usually some "great" event in their life to change. The only thing else, is maturity. This is why marring so young is highly risky... you don't know exactly who they'll turn in to or is you'll grow out of them.

 

YOU GET what you PICK, so women, PICK WITH YOUR BRAIN and not your emotions!!

[Anna Comnena]

Trialbyfire:

 

In review the progression of this conversation, although I haven't really learned anything about why women do what they do, I have learned more about why I've done the things I done.

 

It's not that I don't believe that Men are totally unable to take care of themselves & are incapable of being responsible, I just know for sure I can rely on myself.. That I can rely on myself to protect my family and look out for my best interest as well as look out for my furture children's best interest...knowing you're incontrol of your decisions empowers you not to make the bad ones.

 

More women need to know they have control over live's decisions, and their decisions will alter their children's future for either the positive or the negative. Choose wisely.

[Kasan]

It does make you stronger, but it's exhausting. It's so difficult to lay back, close your eyes, and trust someone else to pilot... and the fear of falling.

 

Yes it is exhausting....it took me a long time to learn to trust...and I struggle with trusting people to this day.

 

I understand your need to find employment in a well paying field. I encouraged my daughter up to get an education in a field that would enable her to take care of herself and any children should she marry and not have it work out. She is not married and doesn't have any children but she did buy her house when she was 28.

 

I have seen women bounce from men to men and really make poor decisions based on the need to take care of their children.

[Trialbyfire]

No doubt everyone has the ability to make choices. Whether their choices agree with your criteria, is up to them. This is called...choice...

[Anna Comnena]

I really hate this idea that women do everything and men would be lost without a woman to take care of them. After my divorce I spent 2 years as a single man living alone and I always managed to feed myself, keep my house clean, and manage my life very well. Women seem to have this idea that without them doing everything the world will fall apart and that is just not the case. If women just learned to relax and realize the world will still stay in place if they took a moment for themselves they would be a whole lot happier.

 

Woogly, I'd say for the most part I agree, but for over a 12, I've worked as a personal assistant at a few different companies. Right now I work for a very good, wealthy attorney who is utterly helpless.

 

He goes so far as to call me right before he gets to our building, for me to Run down the elevator, go in front of the building, where he gets out of his car, and has me park it about 150 ft away in his "reserved" space in the first floor of the parking structure.

 

I've even left work, walk to my parking space next to his, only to find his Neck Tie in a TREE near where he parks his car. How it get there? who knows.. I laughed so hard, I took a picture of it on my cell phone and set it to him with... "so where or where, did your little tie go?"

 

He loses everything. I keep extra credit cards on hand in my office, so when he loses his, he'll have a back up.

 

I've gotten calls from court clerks about how he left all his client files in his court room. He's even scremed at me for misplacing a file, only to a month later, to find out he left it at some random court.

 

He's locked his keys in his BMW.. How does one do that when the alarm on his key chain locks and unlocks the doors??

 

He's got a temper, an italian temper. I use to take him screaming at me... after all, I was irrational people screaming at the top of the lungs for long periods of time.. my mother use to do that.

 

But as I've aged, I'm less and less tolorant of it as he has become more and more dependant upon me. Now, when he screams at me, I tell him to lower his voice, or I'll go to the other room, collect my purse, leave, and not return for a week. He's so afraid of me not being around, he'll immediatly shut up.

 

I keep telling him, I'm gong to be a stay at home mom, but he think's i'm kidding, and then usually gives me a raise.

 

I know he's one of the most needy ones I've worked for, but honestly, they were all this way. Usually very very intelligent, wealthy, VP's, CEOs or attorneys, all but one had a unbelievable temper, and all were utterly helpless when it came to anything but their exact job.

 

I honestly can't understand how they function at all. I asked how boss how he made it through law school, he said he use to block his door with his books, so that he'd remember to study, until he met his wife, and she strcuturalized it for him. I belive it.

 

It's honestly amazing to me.

[Anna Comnena]

Yes it is exhausting....it took me a long time to learn to trust...and I struggle with trusting people to this day.

 

I understand your need to find employment in a well paying field. I encouraged my daughter up to get an education in a field that would enable her to take care of herself and any children should she marry and not have it work out. She is not married and doesn't have any children but she did buy her house when she was 28.

 

I have seen women bounce from men to men and really make poor decisions based on the need to take care of their children.

 

Yes, I'm not going to be foced into a bad decision or having to rely on an abusive person due to lack of money or lack of options. this is ALSO, something that is direct result of my up-brining.

[Cobra_X30]

Exactly. The other girl mention that I always need to be in control, which is.. and isn't true.

Relationship wise, don't need to be in control so much, with the in's and outs of my life, yes. After years of being out of the house, and rebuilding my relationship with my father, I wanted to incorporate him into my wedding plans.

 

It does make you stronger, but it's exhausting. It's so difficult to lay back, close your eyes, and trust someone else to pilot... and the fear of falling.

 

Yup, Its so hard for me to trust the intentions of others... to give them any sort of control over me!

 

I'm very lucky in that my dad has changed alot since I was a kid! He was a super awesome when I was really young.... then got totally distant as I got older. Now he is back... and I think better than ever.

 

I hope your dad does the same! Your mom sounds a bit like mine, total lost cause.

[nittygritty]

I wouldn't jump to such swift conclusions. My parents were married. My mother was a teacher. My father worked in Northern Cali for 2-3 weeks at a time, and would return for the weekend. My mother, was non existent due to mental illness. At a very early age, I taught myself to cook and clean my clothes. (Hence the, I can only rely on myself) I was beaten nearly daily. Even had my teeth knocked out by my mother at 7 years old. I had to have implants put in. the situation I was in was not even comparably normal to anyone else I know. although I have a very close relationship with my father now, I hated him for leaving me with her, especially considering he couldn't live with her himself. None the less, despite the fact he was ALWAYS gone, when he did come home, he bought food for me to make meals, got basic necessities for me like toilet paper, etc. He was the only sanity, thereby, I couldn't imagine not having him around.

 

In addition, I've been on my own since I was 15. (the best thing that ever happened to me) The early years, I lived in utter poverty. I was starving and I worked 2-3 jobs in an attempt to get by. Hence, the "never go hungry again" mentality.

 

In my opinion, I didn't really have any parents, and I sure didn't have much of a childhood. During my teen years, of course I had friends who came from similar situations.. All of those friends now are either dead or on drugs.

 

I have hard views... I have had a very hard life. I had to live my life on a very edge of disaster.. It wouldn't have taken me much to drop out of school, get pregnant, and do drugs. I was always scared to death of becoming pregnant.. because I knew how hard it was to feed myself, and I wasn't capable of feeding a child.

 

People tell me, I'm lucky.. lucky to have such a good job, even lucky to go to law school.. .. Sort of upsets me, because LUCK had nothing to do with it. I"ve worked my ass off to get where I am. 2 Jobs during undergrad. 50+ hours a week now, during law school.

 

People complain to me about.. "my parents won't pay for school, or.. they won't give me that or this.." and that's why they didn't go to college and their life is so screwed up..Well, they're complaining to the wrong person.

 

Everyone has excuses.. but that's all they are.. EXCUSES. Take some responsibility for your life.. after all, you are the person in the driver's seat.

 

Your miss understanding why I advocate for children's rights.

 

Your parents should have been put in prison for the crimes they committed against a child. It was clearly child abuse and neglect and its heartbreaking that a child should ever have to endure anything like you did growing up.

 

You are a survivor but most kids would not have successfully survived such a life experience the way that you did.

 

I can promise you that I take full responsibility for the bad choices I have made in my life. Having two kids from two different marriages, was not one of my mistakes. I am fortunate in that I am financially successful and that I am a good responsible parent.

 

There is no doubt that there are many problems in state child custody and support laws around the U.S. The best interest of the child is lost in the court system. Men and Women don't have equal consideration. Women are usually awarded primary custody regardless, of whether or not they are responsible. Parents are moving long distances away from young children. People with children staying in abusive relationships. When I read the posts where there are kids involved its very upsetting.

 

Yes, we are all responsible for our choices in life and are accountable.

Children have no choice or voice in all of it. Women don't self reproduce and it is not in the best interests of the child to be raised by an unfit abusive parent.

 

Ideally, children would have two responsible parents but that is not always the case.

 

Thanks again, for sharing your story. You are a survivor.

[Kasan]

Yes, I'm not going to be foced into a bad decision or having to rely on an abusive person due to lack of money or lack of options. this is ALSO, something that is direct result of my up-brining.

 

When you are abused as a child, you learn early on to rely on yourself. You also make a solemn vow to yourself that you will never let someone have that much power or control over you again. So I get where you are coming from.

 

You also tend to have less (or no) patience for the whiners and complainers in life. After all, they haven't walked in your shoes right?

 

You are also correct in the fact that women should take more control of their lives. Women should always have a Plan B especially when there are children involved. I would not want to have my kid's future in the hands of an angry ex or court system.

[sunshinegirl]

Hi Anna, I've been reading your thread and am curious about how you are funding your backup plan. If I understand correctly you are getting (or got) a JD?

 

I am not a lawyer but know over two dozen lawyers (family and friends) and unless they had trust funds or wealthy parents willing to foot the bill, they took on between $70k-200k in student loans.

 

This may sound like an intrusive question, but did you have to take out significant loans to fund your education? If so, I am really wondering how good of a backup plan this is, because now your husband is saddled with paying off a potentially six-digit student loan in addition to supporting you and your children.

 

There is a cost-benefit to everything; I decided against law school in part to avoid the proverbial golden handcuff problem.

 

In general I think some of what you say makes sense; but you mix so many generalizations into it that I still get pissed off reading what you say. (eg "women blame men for everything" - well gee, no I don't. I take responsibility for my life and my choices. But thanks for stereotyping me!)

[Anna Comnena]

Hi Anna, I've been reading your thread and am curious about how you are funding your backup plan. If I understand correctly you are getting (or got) a JD?

 

I am not a lawyer but know over two dozen lawyers (family and friends) and unless they had trust funds or wealthy parents willing to foot the bill, they took on between $70k-200k in student loans.

 

This may sound like an intrusive question, but did you have to take out significant loans to fund your education? If so, I am really wondering how good of a backup plan this is, because now your husband is saddled with paying off a potentially six-digit student loan in addition to supporting you and your children.

 

There is a cost-benefit to everything; I decided against law school in part to avoid the proverbial golden handcuff problem.

 

In general I think some of what you say makes sense; but you mix so many generalizations into it that I still get pissed off reading what you say. (eg "women blame men for everything" - well gee, no I don't. I take responsibility for my life and my choices. But thanks for stereotyping me!)

 

 

I've worked for my attorney for the past 8 years. I'm on call 24/7. I began at his firm when he was just getting by. His business has grown to a multi-million dollar operation and I have retained well over a million dollars of clients this year alone.

 

He pays 100% of my tuition, books, and even gives me paid leave time for finals. The some of the tuition is actually a tax write off for him, which was another incentive to go to law school rather then obtain my MA in history.

[Anna Comnena]

When you are abused as a child, you learn early on to rely on yourself. You also make a solemn vow to yourself that you will never let someone have that much power or control over you again. So I get where you are coming from.

 

You also tend to have less (or no) patience for the whiners and complainers in life. After all, they haven't walked in your shoes right?

 

You are also correct in the fact that women should take more control of their lives. Women should always have a Plan B especially when there are children involved. I would not want to have my kid's future in the hands of an angry ex or court system.

 

Yup.. yup yup..

I don't know if I made a concious vow, but in ways, I learned it is just easier in most circumstances, just to do it myself. So I'm not left spinning my wheels in disapointment.. The last time I relied on my father, I honestly wanted to hit myself in the head with a hammer for being so dumb... that if I did it myself, I wouldn't be in the situation that I was.

 

It's not that I don't have patience with whinners, its just bothers me that they go to great measure to make up reasons about why they haven't done one thing or another. I just want to say.. "hey, if you stop with the excuses and just do it.. then it will be done!!!!" I can sit and whine about my life too.. whine about how, maybe if I had actual parents, I'd be in Harvord, or some other highly famed school, instead of night school at the nearst school to my work.~ Everyone can complain about something, but it really isn't productive.

 

and when I say, women need to take responsibility.. well, I'm a woman, and I take responsibility. Please, don't get made with my general statements. Of course, nothing in life is 100%, but it's a pain in the butt to revise every sentence to refect that i'm only speaking of a segment of the popultion.

[nittygritty]

Yup.. yup yup..

I don't know if I made a concious vow, but in ways, I learned it is just easier in most circumstances, just to do it myself. So I'm not left spinning my wheels in disapointment.. The last time I relied on my father, I honestly wanted to hit myself in the head with a hammer for being so dumb... that if I did it myself, I wouldn't be in the situation that I was.

 

It's not that I don't have patience with whinners, its just bothers me that they go to great measure to make up reasons about why they haven't done one thing or another. I just want to say.. "hey, if you stop with the excuses and just do it.. then it will be done!!!!" I can sit and whine about my life too.. whine about how, maybe if I had actual parents, I'd be in Harvord, or some other highly famed school, instead of night school at the nearst school to my work.~ Everyone can complain about something, but it really isn't productive.

 

and when I say, women need to take responsibility.. well, I'm a woman, and I take responsibility. Please, don't get made with my general statements. Of course, nothing in life is 100%, but it's a pain in the butt to revise every sentence to refect that i'm only speaking of a segment of the popultion.

 

So your thread was a rant on whiners?