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Completely Lost...


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Ah...I've liked this guy for about a year now. Well, it's actually a year and a month and a half. Haha, and the funny thing is that throughout that whole time, he had (and still has) a girlfriend...who lives in another state from where we are. My friends told me to make my move on him since...it was my chance? Hahaha...well, I tried, but of course I feel bad since I didn't want to be the one coming in between him and his girlfriend.

 

Well, I've got to say that it was hard to push him away seeing as how he was (and still is) taken, but the way he restrains himself from crossing the line is amazing...so it was hard to keep myself from falling head-over-heels all over again....

 

But that was last year...now a brand new school year has started, and I hardly see him anymore. But what really gets me is that he's with another girl again. Just as friends, I think. But he's always texting her non-stop, and the two of them seem to be closer than ever. Like the way I was with him. Dang...so now I just feel like old news...as if I've been used. Plain, boring, the same ol' chick just hangin' around. *sigh* And I'm just guessing, but I get the feeling that the new girl likes him too. After all, we don't even talk to each other. If we see each other we look away and ignore one another. Just one of those "women's intuitions" things...but man, girls can be so vicious....

He even calls himself a manwhore probably because he figured that the new girl likes him....

But I've got to admit that I'm the jealous type.... =\

 

At least he occasionally waves and says hi to me, but it's so obvious that we're growing apart. That's just one thing that I'm really afraid of, which is losing him because he's a really sweet friend. I tell myself that I should get over him, that I don't need him, and that I shouldn't care about him since he doesn't care about me. I even tell myself that since he's a real "ladies' man", I would just feel jealous all the time if I was ever with him, but...I think that's hurting me more than it is helping. =\

 

The most painful part is that he knows that I like him, and he's known since last Christmas...ha, ha...that "Last Christmas" song just popped into my head. Anyway, I'm just really lost right now, but I think that his girlfriend that's miles and miles away from him, feels the same whenever she sees me hanging around him or any other girl.

 

I'm just not sure on what to do anymore....

Does anyone have any pointers? It would mean a lot to me.

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