matius Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 Hi- I've met this girl online who I think is great looking and has a super cool personality. We both have obscure tastes in music and have a massive amount in common. Now, I've seen her two times. We've had to work out our schedules for the past few weeks to meet these times. She has answered her phone every time I called, and has returned my phone call if I left a message. I haven't called that much, just when I wanted to get together. The second time we met, everything was going great for about an hour 1/2 or so and then her cell phone rang. She talked for couple of minutes with another guy who she probably went and saw after the bar (keep in mind I thought everything was going well up till that point) - At that point I told the bartender what I had to drink, paid my half told her I had to school in the morning and went to the bathroom. She was off the phone and waiting for me outside. We walked to our cars and she gives me a hug...I say you wanna hang out again - she says yeah call me. I leave thinking it would be the last I see her. The next morning she sent me an email ~ she found a very rare obscure CD that I've been looking for several months-- it's a band we both dig and that I had talked about before the cell phone incident. It's been about four days since this has happened. Up until the cell phone bit, I wouldn't have guessed she had low interest in me. But that showed me that she did...she doesn't call me on the phone but would initiate IM convos which I avoid hardcore (she seems like a cell phone person by the way, very outgoing)- would it be in my best interest to a) walk away b) call and leave a message, if she returns it ask her out one last time c) wait for her to make the next move d) call her and ask her out one last time? Thanks for any advice, as I feel like this is some serious mixed signals. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 She talked for couple of minutes with another guy who she probably went and saw after the bar (keep in mind I thought everything was going well up till that point) - At that point I told the bartender what I had to drink, paid my half told her I had to school in the morning and went to the bathroom. This part is really confusing. All you know is she talked to on the phone for several minutes. How do you know she met up with him later?? Why didn't you pay for her drink? Cmon, be a gentleman. i think you should clarify... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 It's extremely rude to take cell phone calls when you're out with somebody...and EXTREMELY RUDE to take cell phone calls from another guy while you're out with a guy. Either this girl is very rude or she was never taught any manners. I'd ask her out one more time but tell her you forgot to mention your policy...you require females who go out with you to turn their cells off for the duration of your time together. If she agrees, great...if she doesn't, tell her to kiss your butt!!! (Those things have answering devices associated with them.) If she's young, she's probably having fun working lots of guys. It's usually the social butterflies who keep their cells on and talk to every Tom, Dick and Harry who rings in. Now don't you feel special!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 YOU ASK: "Why didn't you (matius) pay for her drink? Cmon, be a gentleman." I can't speak for matius, but there's no way in hell I'd buy a drink for some lady who decided to have a two minute conversation with another guy while I was with her. Cmon, she's got to be a lady... Link to post Share on other sites
Author matius Posted April 20, 2003 Author Share Posted April 20, 2003 The first time we met, I paid for the drinks~ I've recently learned to respect myself more than I have in the past...the way she acted was not deserving of a free drink. I took this as a genuine sign of disinterest, however, if you'd been there to view this up until that point everything was cool n' the gang. She seemed a bit insecure for such a beautiful girl (the first time we met)- she must have told me she used to model about five times...so I'm not sure if that was a stunt to show me how she can work it, play it or get whatever guy she wants- or, if it was her way of saying that she doesn't care for me at all. The bloody email the next morning is what threw me for a loop though...if she 'nexted' me she can quit working you know. Also, I don't care if she went to see someone else, not looking for anything exclusive- just a connection and a little respect. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 Tony, I think it'd be OK for her to talk for two minutes, as long as she explained herself - i guess she didn't, matius? I mean it could've been some guy-friend who needed help or a quick tip or who knows what else. Matius, you still haven't said what made you think she met up with him after the bar... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 Oh, yes, she should have explained to matius that she was taking a call from another guy she likes and who she's trying to make some time with. She should have explained that she gets calls from lots of guys and if matius can't handle it he should just kiss off. Yes, I suppose that would have been OK. Maybe I'll start a whole new thread in the Rant category about cell phones. If you're having lunch with somebody, conversing with somebody, doing just about anything with somebody where you would expect their attention and they answer a cell phone call and start gabbing, the interuption is awkward and it is just plain rude. I'm real sorry. If people are so fricken important that they must be available constantly to the world, they should hire a secretary to answer their phone and forward the most important calls. If I'm out with a female that I like and would like to get to know better, her cell phone rings, and she starts talking to ANOTHER GUY for TWO MINUTES in such a way to make me feel like I'm just another penis, I will walk away and be history in her life for all time. My religion believes there is a cell phone hell where people who are married to their cell phones and interupt their exchanges with people in person to carry on conversations go to burn at temperatures approximately 500 degrees hotter than normal hell. I have no problem with somebody grabbing a critical call and talking a few minutes. I'm a reasonable person....but to talk to another guy right there in front of me...and not tell him she's busy and that she'll call back (which takes eight seconds)...she's dirt!!! It's terrifying to me that people can no longer discern what's rude and what's courteous and what's not. What are parents doing to be parents these days??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author matius Posted April 20, 2003 Author Share Posted April 20, 2003 Yes- when I paid for my cheque and went to the bathroom I heard her say are you going to be up for like 10 more minutes~ like I said I didn't care and all we were going to do was have a couple drinks- nothing more as I had to get up early. But, it didn't matter if this guy was a friend, a hot date, or just some cousin of hers~ she should have either not answered the phone, had it off to begin with or told him she'll call him back right in a bit... The only reason I'm posting this is because I honestly felt a connection prior to that one experience. I realize some people are geniunely rude, some are insecure and want to show others up, and some are just disinterested- just needed some advice on my next or final step with this situation. It's not often you find somebody with such similar tastes in music and ideas... Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 I TOTALLY agree with Tony on the issue of cellphones. Yes, a new thread on the subject would be great. I have one but use it only for those 2-minute urgent situations when nobody is within earshot. If I'm going to be in a store, beauty salon, out to dinner, movies, etc., I turn the sound off. It has voicemail - use it! My pet peeve: people who use them in the grocery store while they're shopping, even as far as using them while they're going through the checkout and not paying attention to anything else that's going on around them. grrr Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 Ah, don't take me wrong, i also hate cellphones with a passion. Mine's always off, unless i'm making a call that my car broke down or i need to let my family know i'm still alive. But, there're lots of people around me who have a business, or a kid, or worried parents, who need to take calls now-n-then. I think it's perfectly fine to take a minute to say something important, as long as they apologize. I think it's even more rude to take calls when you're at home & have a guest. That drives me up the wall in no time. grr. happy easter! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author matius Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 I thought I'd try one more time- if it happened again I'd let her know how I felt about it...then move on if she couldn't handle that. Thanks for your advice... Link to post Share on other sites
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