niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Here is an update on what has transpired recently for those who have followed...http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t131265/ It has now been another week since she was supposed to get her stuff. I have gotten a lot of advice about it and HAD decided to box all her clothes and stuff up and let it sit in the spare room and let HER come get it. That has been working fine. Been in NC and all that. Stuff's all boxed up and in a spare room. Out of sight out of mind. Right? Now, I am finding out that she may be sleeping with this new guy. Apparantly it's progressed a lot faster than I had previously thought. I know it is most likely a rebound and that doesn't really bother me. It's the whole prinicipal of it that is pissing me off. If she just needed to do whatever on her own I would be fine with keeping it there and letting her initiate contact to get it. Now that I am finding this out, I feel like packing it up tonight and dropping it off at her apartment and letting her or her roomies deal with it. Why the hell should I keep it at MY place when she is out getting this involved with this guy? She has had time (she tells me otherwise) to come get it but I have not heard anything from her since last week when she came and got TWO things from my house. I think I may call her today and tell her I am getting it out of my house in the next 2 days; so its her call at what to do with it. Like I said before, I was going to let her come get it whenever and stick to NC but the more I see how involved she is with guy the more pissed I am getting about her leaving her stuff there. What do you guys think I should do? Call her and tell her she has 2 days (shes had plenty of time-over a month now) or just stick to NC and keep it there? Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I would send her a note saying that she has precisely 5 days to find a mutually convenient time (I assume she does not have your key) to come get her stuff, otherwise you will donate it to good will. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I would put it out in the front yard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Ha. Thats what Im going to do if she doesnt come get it. When I call her to tell her, she is going to give me some B.S. excuse about it. I dont want to be an a** about it when I tell her. Should I even mention her and this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 No. Drop her a note saying "garbage day is <insert garbage day here>, your stuff will be on the curb till then". Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, but she's shown you no remorse. She deserves none from you. Link to post Share on other sites
myhotrod123456789 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I agree with reboot. It really doesn't sound like she is giving you the respect you deserve given that she knows how you feel about her. Put it outside and tell her to pick it up whenever she wants. Absolutely do not mention the other guy. It will come off as jealous and you guys aren't together right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Its been over a month since we split up. She has a VERY big problem with doing stuff like this. I think Im gonna send her a txt and tell her I get out at 5 today and tomorrow and she can either come get it or I will be dropping it off at her doorstep. Link to post Share on other sites
myhotrod123456789 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Drop it off at her doorstep??? She will opt for free delivery. You need to show her that you aren't her lap dog. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Drop it off at her doorstep??? She will opt for free delivery. You need to show her that you aren't her lap dog. Amen to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 "You have till Thursday to get the rest of your stuff out. After that its going outside. I will be home after 5 today and tomorrow." Straight and to the point? I dont mean to sound like a puss about this. I have never had to deal with crap like this before so its new territory for me. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 You should do what feels right to you. Some people are more bitter than others, and it usually shows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Thanks a lot for being so blunt. I think thats what I needed. I wont just let it sit out in the rain but I am going to send her a txt telling her she only has till Thursday. I'll just leave it at that. I know darn well shes going to pick up the phone asap and call me to give me some reason why she cant take it yet. But I think I have had enough of it. If she has time to go out and meet new people, she has time to come FINISH WHAT SHE STARTED. So this what I'm going to say to her. Its how I feel: "I've done enough for you and have given you plenty of time of to get this done. I am not gonna let you continue to use me like this." Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 All I can say is, Bravo. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I think you should give her a reasonable amount of time to have her stuff picked up.. Make it clear to her that if she doesn't pick it up after "xyz" date then you will dispose of those items in a way you find suitable. You don't want to be the azzhole ex BF who trashed her stuff.. but then on the other hand you don't want to be her doormat any longer either.. Don't send her a text message about it either.. either talk with her on the phone or leave a message on her VM.. ( you can leave a message on her VM without calling her ) Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 You can always tell her that effective Thursday the storage fees begin to accure, at $50 a day. Put it in writing, via email, with return receipt - so you can sue her for it later (it will be proof of the communication) Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Haha. I would never do anything like that. I have been real accomodating so far with her and Im not gonna be an a hole about it. Last Monday she was supposed to come get it. She grabbed two little things and said this..."I'll call you later about getting it later this week." That was over a week ago. So in the meantime she has been seeing this new guy more and more and apparantly is spending a lot of her free time with him. Logic dictates that if she has time for that, she has time to get it out of my house. Link to post Share on other sites
Ormolu611 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 But I think I have had enough of it. If she has time to go out and meet new people, she has time to come FINISH WHAT SHE STARTED. " I hear you!!! I was in a very similar situation about three months ago. If they have enough time to start a new life without you which involved meeting other potential partners, then they damn well better have time to pick up their crap. You are not running a free storage facility for the sake of her convenience. In my situation, I left a voicemail (without actually calling as Art_Critic suggested) and told her in a firm but calm manner that she really needed to get her stuff out that week. I did not say "or else", or anything like that, but nonetheless left a very clear message with my tone and resolve. She called me back a few minutes later and said that she would be there in two days to pick it up. It was a very short and curt phone call. She showed up with her girlfriend (whose car she had to borrow) and picked up the stuff. She looked emotional but kept it contained. Afterwards, we shared a lukewarm, completely platonic hug, said "see ya," and she left. That was the last that I have seen or heard from her and that was three months ago. Get it over with or it will mess with your mind. Free yourself. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 So I left her a voicemail when I called her. All up to her now. Told her Ive been more than accomodating and have done enough for her and I wont let her use me like this. Said she has till Thursday to get it out and to call to arrange something. Link to post Share on other sites
DH27 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Good job. Yeah I see her leaving some stuff at your house as you being her backburner. She can come get it whenever she wants, you are always accessible to her. But now that you have asserted yourself, she can't just come have you whenever she wants. I agree that you need to get her things out if she is seeing some other guy like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Let us know what happens! And well done honey, you grew that back bone hahhahahah xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 Its not just some things. Its almost her whole wardrobe. An entire bedroom with two closests with her stuff in it. It is now bagged up and all sitting on the bed. I would say it would take 2-3 trips to get all her stuff out. I called her over an hour ago and then sent her a txt about 30 min later telling her I left her a vmail. She rarely checks her VMails so I had to give it a little kick in the butt. It sucks hard having to do this but as much as I care about her, its the OLD her I cared about. Not what she is now. Link to post Share on other sites
DH27 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Wow, I thought it was just some clothes. Even more so then. Good work though, I know that had to be a hard thing to do. Maybe you having her take all her stuff out will make her see that this is too final for her and she doesnt want it to happen this way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author niceguy27 Posted October 2, 2007 Author Share Posted October 2, 2007 So she just called. She sounded different on the phone. She wasnt mad but different sounding. heres a summary of the convo: Me: Hey whats up? Her: Hey I just got your message about getting it out by Thursday. I know you think I have a bunch of time but I really dont. I have this...and that to do...and...(for a minute or two) Me: (Silence) Her: Well I dont know when I can come get it. I am doing...at this time. And...at this time (again for a minute or so). Me: (Silence) Her: What time do you work till? Me: Until five today and tomorrow and go in at two on thursday. Her: Well I guess it will have to be tomorrow. Me: All your sh*t (I didnt say it sarcastically btw) is bagged up in the spare room and the rest of it is in the garage. It may take 2-3 loads to get it all. Her: oh...alright... Me: Oh and also, when its all done I also want my spare key back too. Her: Alright Me: well Ill see you then. Bye. I think I really caught her off guard with that. First the voicemail and now this. I havent talked to her in over a week at all. I was short and curt and to the point. Silence is golden. I didnt say anything more than above. Didnt question her about her time, compromise, or anything like that. I feel quite a bit better. Tomorrow is going to be tough. Real tough. As it will add more of a finality to the whole thing. I also didnt offer to help her move it too. I think I may just let her take care of it all. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 Very good job. Link to post Share on other sites
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