Family that's "Fake"

[georgejungle]

I come from an extended family that's pretty big,

lots of Aunts and Uncles. At times throughout my

life, my mom has gotten into tiny scraps with her

sisters and then we don't talk to those certain

members or one of my aunts will diss my mom behind

her back, etc. They can be very very FAKE yet Loving

at the same time. My Mom is and has always been loving

and caring to her sibs, yet she has drama of her own at

times. I see where she gets it. She'll complain about

them to me or tell me how they hurt her feelings and I

can't understand why she still likes being around them.

 

I don't like hanging around at Family Get-togethers much.

because of this. I actually stay away on purpose sometimes, because

I can't handle the FAKE-ness, plus at time i've been made to feel bad

for not coming around, once i DO show up, so I avoid the criticism too.

They'll tease me or make me feel bad. This is all "EXTENDED FAMILY ONLY"

by the way. I love my sisters and brothers and Mom and Dad, they're

great!

 

Anyway, Should I feel bad for not coming around or always

making excuses for not showing up to extended family get-togethers?

I think I feel bad because there are actually some members who i really

enjoy seeing, One uncle and two cousin's hubbies who are very cool and nice.

But I honestly don't really care (i know that sounds mean) for some of

my aunts or my Grandmother or some of my Uncles even. same with some

of my cousins who are my age and older. Some of them I really

wouldn't care if I ever hung out with them again, since, well, the

only thing we have in common is blood. Some of my cousins seem

to compete to serve my grandparents every need like it's a contest

forgetting the mean things Grandma has done to us in the past or

how Grandma talks behind our parents back about them or starts

rumours.

 

Too much Drama and too much Jealously for me. I'm just a

simple guy, I guess my mom and her kids are the black sheep. yet

my mom still tries to please my grandparents and aunts. She goes

back for more only to have her feelings hurt in some way and it's sad

to me.

[georgejungle]

i think the thing that bugs me the most and I don't

know why the hell it does...is that I have "guilt" for not

showing up to these Family Events.

 

No one has ever done anything malicious or downright

Rude to me, but there's still that air of drama, jealousy &

back stabbing pettiness that I cannot stand...Where you have

my aunt or grandmother hanging up on my Mom because

they got bitchy with her for no good reason and then I'm supposed

to just go up and hug them hello at a gathering? That's a big

thing right there for me, the "pretending everything is sweet

and cute" when there's backstabbing going on, all for no good

reason too.

 

Anyway, I just get mad at myself for feeling guilty and then

mad that I harbor resentment towards them, when, they

aren't doing anything to enrich my life anyway, so why do I

care what they think?

[cld24]

Wow..your extended family sounds just like mine! We no longer show up for many family functions due to the problems between my mom and her sisters. A couple of my siblings have gone to reuinions or whatever but I chose to stay away due to the fact that I don't like conflict or rude fake family members. I feel no guilt and don't care what they think. Hopefully you can get over your feelings of resentment and realize it doesn't matter what they think. Even if you did show up they would probably have negative things to say about you anyway as you have said they are backstabbers. Avoid it.

[betterthandead]

Yeah, I see this too from some of my family and other friend's families. Where all the people act superficially happy just because they haven't seen each other in 3-6 months/years. There's a reason for that = They don't like each other that much.